Two pieces of hidden wisdom in today’s Tamud learning.

Our sages bring contradictory statements about the status of a desert for transferring on Shabbat, one states the desert is like a private domain, the other says it is a public domain.  The Gemara reconciles the conflict by concluding that when the Jewish nation was travelling through the desert (this was for that famous 40 years over 3000 years ago) then the desert was a public domain, since it had at least 600,000 people inhabiting it.  In our day it is practically uninhabited and has the status of a private domain.

When you are choosing what to accomplish in life and how to go about that, you need to consider if you want to do something unique and personal, or go a more travelled route through life, using methods that others have used to succeed.  You should know that everyone is somewhat influenced by their culture, education, etc.  You will never be 100% unique, but if you are aware of the choices you make and the motivations behind them, then you will be the one to choose your own blend of innovation and tradition.  If you are not paying attention, your society and the people around you will make your life choices for you.  And no one has your best interest at heart except for you (and God).

There is also a wisdom in being aware of the distinction between public and private.  In modern mainstream society, lines are often blurred.  As we learned:

One of the features of modern secular culture is that there has been a blurring of lines between private and public responsibility in some areas. In the (recent) past men would have donated to help widows and orphans, and religious groups may have tried to house the homeless.  Today men are encouraged to marry single mothers and provide for their children from other men.  Religious groups are told to provide abortions and people are told to tolerate an epidemic of homelessness and urban degredation that ruins property values for home owners.

Conventional Judaism provided clear distinction between personal and community obligations, and tells individuals how to take part in public needs.  Having clear expectations helps.  Even in modern Life you can develop your own boundaries, decide for yourself what you are willing to do for others and what you will not do.

Another item today: Rav found a hidden scroll from the academy of Rabbi Hia, which taught him a certain detail in the laws of Shabbat.  The novelty here is that at this time (1900 years ago) it was not considered proper to write down the Oral Torah.  It was later allowed due to increasing persecution and the scattering of Jewish communities.  The entire corpus of Jewish law was passed down orally from Rabbi to students.  Some men committed to memorizing Mishnah and Baraita, acting as human reference books.  Students were exacting to say over the Law in the same words (and songs) their teachers taught in.  A massive amount of information was passed down from Moses at Sinai for almost 2000 years before being committed to writing. However, even in the earlier phase, sages would write notes and reminders to themselves about novel topics that were not commonly discussed.  Since these bits would likely be forgotten it was allowed to write them for personal use.  Rav found one such scroll.

Gentlemen, when you acquire life wisdom, write it down, review it, acquire it as your own.  Otherwise you will blunder through life again and again, wondering “What was that wisdom I had once?  It would really help me out here”…
God may keep putting you in the same situation over and over until you finally get the messages and make the right decisions.
Review your wisdom and internalize it, use it, make it your own.

We continue studying transferring object from one domain to another, asking why would a person handing something into another person’s hand be liable for breaking the Sabbath?  We require a transfer to be done from an important area (measuring a certain size).  We conclude that a man’s and has the status of an important area even though it is smaller.

Your “hand” can mean what are able to accomplish by yourself.  Even if that measure does not seem objectively important, it has importance because you did something.  Every man should have some hobby or skill that involves accomplishing something with your own hands.  You can do a lot of great things, repairing, building, fixing, painting.  Whatever you do yourself you can take pride in, even if it seems less than what someone else did.

Our sages bring a case of someone throwing an object across domains, or a certain distance in the public domain.  The thrower then runs and catches the object he threw.  The Gemara asks if this throwing and catching is like two separate powers in the man.  If that is true he will not be liable, it would be as if there were two separate people, one thrower and one catcher.  Or maybe the two actions are like one power, and the man is liable.  The Gemara does not resolve this question.

The wisdom here is we all have separate powers, distinct abilities.  When we use our powers for constructive results, are we a different person than when we use them otherwise?  When using a receptive ability, eg listening, learning, are we different than when we are expressing?
God put immense capabilities into men, the same man can use these powers for good or for evil.  How can these opposite capacities be in the same being?  The Gemara does not have answer, this is a Divine decree.

The gemara asks maybe we would let another person take the dough out…?

In current mainstream culture you as a man cannot expect any praise or credit for your work, but you are expected and coerced to take full responsibility the moment anything goes wrong.  The idea of responsibility has been perverted in modern society to shame and blame men for all manner of social ills, and to nudge men into accepting the burden of other people’s mistakes.  This is a manipulative twisting of the natural God-given masculine attribute of responsibility.

Sarah’s intense loyalty to God and her husband gave her the impetus to conquer hypergamy.  Even though her choice was to her personal detriment, it was for the benefit of all mankind forever.  She understood this emotionally. 

Sarah’s commitment to Abraham and their mission of monotheism must have been stronger than her feeling that she should be the woman to become the mother to his heir to continue that mission.  She felt that her faith and loyalty to God and her husband were more important than attaining personal status as mother to the Jewish people. 

And that is exactly why she did later merit to become the matriarch to the Jewish people by giving birth to Isaac.  If Sarah lacked innate hypergamy, this struggle would not have been a test for her or a source of future merit.  Because it was so difficult for Sarah to share her husband with her servant, this act of self sacrifice against hypergamy earned Sarah her place in eternity.

At the moment when Rachel is finally about to fulfill her seven years of desire for her husband, she lets her sister take her place, take the attention and affected she earned in Jacob’s heart.  

This was the polar opposite of hypergamy, the desire of a woman to lock down the best man she can get.  Rachel has already locked Jacob down, they are simply waiting to marry and consummate their relationship. 

Jacob is a man with an eternal destiny, and the drive and passion to fulfill his destiny and create an eternal nation.  Whoever will become his wife will get to join him in the holy mission and birth the ancestors of the Jewish people.  She will be an eternal Matriarch to the timeless people.

Understand that at this moment Rachel does not know if her father will even let her marry her Jacob (the Torah later forbid marrying two sisters while both are alive).  Even so, she gives Leah the secret signs to step into her place, knowing that she may forever lose Jacob, her man.  And with him, her chance to join her man’s mission, to become a Matriarch, to become something eternal.

She was able to put her sister’s shame above her own feelings of entitlement to Jacob, the man who loved her the moment he saw her, and above her own self interest and her own future.  Rachel overcame hypergamy.

The Jewish women in Egypt stayed loyal to their husbands, even when their men had lost their will to procreate.

While it would have been tempting for the women to side with the Egyptians to improve their own situation, the Jewish women stayed in the fold.  They could have abandoned their faith and families and married Egyptian men, siding with the dominant victorious culture that was enslaving their own.  They didn’t. 

The spiritual power of the Jewish women in Egypt is no doubt linked to our matriarchs, who overcame tests and put their husbands and faith first.  Since Sarah, the first mother and matriarch, Jewish women have valued their faith and loyalty to family above using their bodily assets for personal gain.

We asked the epic question Are Jewish women different?

Throughout our study of Genesis we saw critical examples of Jewish women acting against self interest, against innate hypergamy.

Sarah gives her handmaid to Abraham, to give him an heir.  Sarah chooses their mission over her self interest.

Rebecca conducts herself with utmost modesty, not showing herself off to or even thinking about other men, making her the perfect match for our Holy father Isaac.

Rachel, our Momma Rachel, makes the ultimate sacrifice: allowing her sister to stand in at her wedding to Jacob, that she has been waiting seven years for.  The mission of family, the tribe, was more important than jealousy.

Tamar, the grandmother of Kings, seduces Judah to fill the spiritual void of his dead sons, then she refuses to embarrass him.

The righteous women in Egypt, choosing their enslaved husbands over the powerful dominant Egyptians, and using sexual desire to save the Jewish people from extinction.

Esther, loyal to her Jewish husband to the utmost, which allowed her to become queen and intercede with the Persian king Xerxes.

We explained the common theme:

A Jewess growing up in traditional Jewish culture, taught Torah, at least the basic stories in Genesis, sees many examples of respected women putting their loyalty to God and their husband above their innate hypergamy.  Every woman wants to mate with the best man she thinks she can get, and to marry the man who makes them feel most secure and supported.  This is a biological impulse programmed into women by their Creator and it has a proper constructive use.  And yet, conventional Jewish tradition celebrates and honors women who are able to put selfish goals and impulses aside in order to fulfill the main mission, building and protecting the Jewish people. We celebrate women who through their spiritual and emotional strengths conquered their biological drives and put the greater good above personal gain.

And we concluded Are Jewish women different? with this answer:

Jewish women are not different, but conventional Jewish culture creates a different outcome for women than modern consumer culture.  Growing up in a conventional Jewish environment somewhat reduces the pervasive influence of the modern culture on women, the social conditioning that starts even before a girl’s first Disney movie.  The Jewish heritage also provides a positive alternate model to self centered solipsistic behavior that is rampant in modern consumer culture.

Any woman can be taught and instructed in positive feminine role models.  The difference for Jews is that we truly believe that the Bible is given to us by the Creator.  We know that God loves us and the Torah (Bible) is an instruction book for leading the best and most meaningful life.  Therefore, the Bible’s messages about positive femininity are of utmost importance for us.  They are not simply good advice, they are the only advice to attain true goodness in life.

Because of our Biblical tradition, conventional Jewish women come out different.  Not biologically different, but due to the influence of the Torah, the celebrated examples given by our holy matriarchs, a Jewish woman is able, to varying degrees, resist the operative social conditioning imposed by secular society and even overcome her innate hypergamy.

I want to elaborate just a tiny bit on this, and bring this to a deeper level.

Being raised in a traditional culture changes how a woman thinks and feels.  We value the Bible, our Patriarchs and Matriarchs, we still look up to them and want to emulate them, 4000 years later.  This colors her emotions, perhaps even her instincts.  I am not an expert in instinct, but I have seen women look at an attractive, well-dressed man enter the room, but then look away, since he is married. You might say her instinct made her look, but then her emotions overrode that act, when she had the realization he is married causing a feeling that he is unavailable to her.

Women are more emotional than men.  God made us this way for His purposes.  In modern secular society, people “put feels before reals” meaning emotion is elevated in importance above reason.  Conventional Jewish society, on a basic level, makes the intellectual at least as important as the emotional.  Not only that, but our emotional narrative is vastly different from mainstream society.  In conventional Judaism, we associate the Torah and the examples set by our holy ancestors with deep positive emotions.  Following in their footsteps gives us a feeling of accomplishment, of being eternal, special, and beloved to God, who chose our ancestors to carry His message into the world.  Living in a Jewish culture changes not just how we think but more importantly for women, how we feel about life.

On a social level, woman are more collectivist, and place a high value on what their group, tribe, or culture thinks about them.  Conventional Judaism values loyalty and devotion to family, and still celebrates those aspects.  Yes, Judaism is actually a very individualist faith. We started as one individual, one family, one tribe.  Every person matters, each one of us has a unique mission.  But our traditional culture has a high value of the group, with Jews coming together for prayers, meals, socializing and matchmaking.  When the group values feminine dedication to family and faith, the women in that group are more inclined to family and faith.

On a basic level, God has created us with a unique mix of free will and the urge to follow the group and fit in the tribe.  You get out what you put in.  When you study how conventional Jews educate children, the values we cherish, you should not be surprised that Jewish women come out different than mainstream women indoctrinated by a feminist, anti-family agenda.

Gentlemen, Mazal Tov! Congratulations on learning with us through the first book in the Talmud, the key text of the Oral Torah.

On the last day of Brakhot, Rabbi Avin the Levi teaches the concept not forcing the moment: “whoever pushes the hour, the hour pushes back”.

The Gemara brings the example of Rav Yosef.  Rav Yosef was better qualified, but allowed another sage, Rabah to be head of the academy first.  His reason for this was hearing an omen that he would only serve as head for two years, then die.  Instead, Rabah served for 22 years then Rav Yosef took the job.  Because he was willing to wait and forego the honor of being the leader first, Rav Yosef lived 22 years longer.  This is related to our discussion yesterday about finding your role.

Tomorrow is the last page of Brakhot, Blessings, in the Babylonian Talmud.  The entire book and especially the last chapter is full of amazing insights.  I am barely scratching the surface of our ancient wisdom.  A man can only learn from others when he has some respect for them and what they have accomplished.

Hillel the Elder says: At a time of gathering in, (the Sages of the generation retaining the wisdom of the Torah amongst themselves), disseminate it by teaching to the public at large.  At the time of dissemination, gather for yourself, and leave it to others to disseminate the Torah.

 

And if you see a generation for whom Torah is beloved, also teach, as it is stated: “There is who scatters, and yet increases” (Proverbs 11:24).

However, if you see a generation for whom Wisdom is not beloved, gather for yourself; do not cause the Torah to be disgraced, as it is stated: “It is time to work for the Lord; they have tried to void Your Torah.”

bar Kappara taught: …where there is no man, there be a man  (where there is no one to fill a particular role, accept that responsibility upon yourself).
Abaye said: Infer from this that where there is a man, there do not be a man.

This week we study Exodus 27:20-30:10, the portion of the Bible called Tetzaveh.  We learn about the oil used to light the menorah, and discuss the special garments and ornaments worn by the priests (Cohanim) and the High Priest during Divine service.  Then we discuss their initiation into the Priesthood, and the golden altar to be put inside the Tabernacle, see last week’s exploration of why we needed a Tabernacle, and how that reflected a change in the locus of power.

The garments of the Priests (Kohanim) were made “for honor and beauty” (Ex 28:2).  They were to be ornate and valuable in order to bring honor to those who wore them, like royal garments for a king.  Indeed, the high priest is second to the king in honor and status (There is a concept of separation of Temple and State, a king is not to serve as high priest or a priest as a king).

While all priests wore the special pants, tunic, belt, and turban, the High Priest had four extra items.  He also wore a special apron, breastplate with rare gems, a robe, and a gold plate on his forehead.  All of these ornaments have distinct spiritual significance; there are a lot of excellent books and articles about those.

The main idea is that a man who has an elevated position in society should likewise have a proper wardrobe and appearance. The Talmud also mentions the importance for everyone to maintain personal hygiene and to dress in a dignified manner for prayer. Our sages in the Talmud (Gittin 52b) also discuss a practical reason to dress well:

Amram the dyer was a guardian for orphans, and the orphans’ relatives once came to Rav Naḥman and said to him: He dresses and covers himself with clothing he bought from the property of the orphans. Rav Naḥman said to them: He may do this in order that his words be heard.

The idea is that if a man is clean and fresh, wearing a nice suit, and sporting a fine haircut, then other men will take him seriously. Therefore a legal guardian for minors was allowed (within reasonable limits) to spend some of the estate on his own appearance. If Amram had looked like a lazy slob in the court, he would not be an effective advocate for the needs of the orphans.

We also learned that having a distinct style of dress sets you apart from the masses, helping you to resist their influence.  You don’t have to dress like a high priest.  But you need to both look good and present an image that helps you succeed in the society you choose to associate with.

I want to focus our attention on the man under the clothing and ornaments.

Originally, there were only five Cohanim, Aaron and his four sons.  Aaron was the high priest.  When he passed, his son Elazar was given the job by Divine order, and initiated into the role by donning the garments and ornaments of the high priest.  Jewish law states that the position is hereditary if and only if a son is a proper choice for Cohen Gadol.

However, succession by a son was not automatic, the high court has to test the sons of the prior high priest.  The sages of the high court (Sanhedrin) are expert rabbis with a high level of insight, also tasked with examining witnesses for murder cases, a delicate inquiry.  A less learned son with greater fear of Heaven was preferred over a better educated son (Rambam Mishneh Torah, Klei Hamikdash 4:20).  The sages of the high court would examine and evaluate the sons to determine who was more appropriate.  This is test not just of intellect, but of piety, of steadfast belief in the Almighty, and the humility to take the highest religious position without being corrupted by power.

Later in Jewish history, when the Greek and Roman empires had more influence in the Jewish state, the job of high priest was sometimes sold to unqualified men who bribed the secular authorities.  This bypass of the intended vetting process had many negative spiritual consequences for the Jews.  Sometimes even heretics who did not believe in the Oral Law bribed their way into the office.  The boundaries between political and religious were blurred and destroyed by outside influence.  The high priest had the right clothes on, but was not the right man, and not chosen by the right men.

The Talmud says high priest must be the greatest in piety, strength, beauty, wisdom, and wealth.  So it sounds like the job was limited to the rich… but that was not the case.  The High Priest is called Cohen Gadol in Hebrew, and the verse actually states “Gadol me’ehav” meaning great from his brothers.  The plain meaning is this man must be better than his brothers, but our sages note that should be written with different grammar.  Rather we learn from here that his brothers makes him great.  He becomes great through his brothers.

The High Priest is elevated by how his fellow men treat him:  If he is poorer they give him wealth.  If he is not very learned they teach him Torah so he can serve his role.  (Talmud Yoma 19, Mishneh Torah, Klei Hamikdash 5:1).  Left unsaid is that if he is not physically strong enough they lift with him, that is obvious.  The Priests had to be able to handle and slaughter large animals.

He becomes the High Priest because his fellows accept him as their leader, and his brother priests raise him up and respect him, even giving him their money if needed to help him be at his exalted level.  So, in one sense, the High Priest is a self made man who has already attained a high level of piety, humility, and dedication to Divine service.  But in another sense, he can only become the great leader he needs to be through the cooperation of his fellow men.

There is a profound wisdom here.

You can achieve a lot on your own, but you cannot achieve everything.  You need a other men with you.  Men function better in a tribe of men, while both cooperating and competing.  Through this each of us can develop as an individual and in turn strengthen the group.  You need the challenges and comradery that only like minded men can provide.  You do what you can on your own, but know that you must seek out a group, a tribe, to further improve yourself.

The High Priest and the Virgin

The High Priest must marry a virgin (Leviticus 21:13–15; Mishneh Torah, Issurei Biah 17:11 and Ishut 1:8).  He must be married since the Torah states he atones for his house, and house means wife.  There is a Talmudic opinion that before Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, he needs two wives, in case one dies (Yoma 1:1).

Why a virgin?  We talked about this factor in our Matriarch Rebecca:

Not only was she physically unsullied, but her thoughts and heart had never been opened to any man.  Her mind had never yearned for any man.  She never had a crush on whatever type of man passed for a rock star 4000 years ago.  All of her capacity for emotional attachment was still available for her future husband and family.  She was perfect, unknown to any man, with no man in her heart yet.  She never showed herself off to men to get attention.  She was the female equivalent of Isaac, who is compared to a pure and unblemished holy offering.  And that is why she was worthy to be the second of the matriarchs.

The High Priest needs a woman who will be 100% supportive of his mission.  He has to spend long hours in the Temple, dealing with prayers, sacrifices and the spiritual needs of the people.  He can’t waste time and energy competing with a prior love interest living in his wife’s head.

Now practically, how does the High Priest find his virgin and get married?  The High Priest is dedicated to the mission of Divine service, almost all his time is spent in the Temple, an area that was practically reserved for men.  He doesn’t have time to seek out a maiden.  Even if they had something like singles bars back then he would not go near them.  In conventional Jewish culture there are, still to this day, matchmakers.  I wrote about this in Kosher Polygamy:

As background, among many Orthodox Jews, matches are commonly suggested by Rabbis, teachers, family, and matchmakers.  They meet or get resumes from girls, vet them, and pass along the resumes to the specific boys that the girl would be appropriate for.  It’s called making a “shidduch”, a match with the possibility for marriage.  Then if the girl’s parents approve and feel the young man has potential, the kids go out and see if they actually like each other.

Girls are judged by what they bring to the table for a marriage and family.  Example, if a young man is a promising student and his family wants him to continue learning Torah for a few years before starting a career, the family needs to know if the prospective wife displays the maturity, flexibility, and capacity for self sacrifice to be able to help support the family while raising small children.  This lifestyle requires a huge commitment from the wife, she needs to be sure this is what she wants.

There is an unspoken assumption in our traditional culture that young people of either gender need guidance from the older generation when it comes to critical life choices like who to marry.  There is a great wealth of practical experience and wisdom among older people who have made matches, then seen the couples they suggested get married and stay married.  Rabbis have taught young people and counseled couples, seen them grow and create families.

Our culture respects ancient Divine wisdom that has been passed through our generations to us.  Each prior generation was closer to the giving of the Torah at Sinai.  This is a major factor in our teaching the young to respect their elders.

In addition, when you are young you have not yet learned exactly what to look for in a mate.  You know this from your own life experience, or you will soon find out.  This is especially true for orthodox Jews, the vast majority of whom send their children to single gender schools.  For much of their childhood, boys and girls don’t mix very often outside the family.  A young person starting to date has to rely heavily on cues from more experienced people.

Thus the matchmaker tells the girl “He is such a mensch (a solid man) and top of his class” and the rabbi tells the boy “She is modest and comes from a great family”.  The young people have some idea of what to expect before they even date, because the older generation is looking out for them and helping to filter potential mates by giving these cues and messages of approval (or disapproval).  This is not an arranged marriage, the ultimate decision is always in the hands of the young couple.  We learned before that even the one situation in the Bible that looks like an arranged marriage is nothing like that.

Part of the reason that our young men and women rely on outside input for dating is that our women and men have different standards to meet.  Girls are expected to dress and behave in a modest way, and (in some circles) to be supportive of a young man who wants to learn Torah full time for a while they keep house and start raising a family.

Boys are expected to be committed to God, to learning a significant part of their day, even if working full time, and to public prayers.  Both are assumed to be dedicated to raising a family in conventional Jewish values.  However, how many boys really know if a girl is actually modest and family oriented?  They don’t, they have to ask other people about the girl and her family to figure it out.

Do the girls know which boys are committed to learning and pray with devotion?  They have no idea, they have to ask his rabbi, teachers, and peers.  The men with whom this young man spends his days have a much better idea of who he really is than she can understand from a date lasting a few hours.  Is he generous?  Asking him during a date is no proof.  Ask his rabbi, who sees every day if he gives charity, gives his time to help others, his energy to the group.  Our young people want to get a full picture of the potential mate before marriage, so they need more information than they can glean on their own.  Thus in our subculture, matchmaking is still a thing.

Falling into love

Now contrast this to how couples are formed in modern mainstream culture.  A boy and girl meet and magically “fall in love”.  Of course they also are attuned to external social cues, subconsciously looking for hints that other people find this person attractive (preselection).  They may not even be aware of this.  They certainly don’t meet with the purpose of figuring out based on all the rational evidence if this particular person is a good mate.

Almost universally, they don’t elicit outside help from elders in making that decision.  They don’t think they need input, because they don’t think they need the same background information that the Jewish couple needs before committing.  They just need to know the other person is attractive and see if they “click” or “work out”.  There is also a negative association in popular culture with asking older generations for input.

Back to our High Priest.  He is a man among men, working on his own spiritual greatness and further made great by his brothers.  Since he is pursuing excellence in the realm of men and the Divine, he does not need to go out looking for virgins.  The maidens will come to him.  Or his brothers, mentors, and rabbis will recognize a suitable maiden for him and suggest a date.  He doesn’t know her background, he has his people check her out, and assess her personal eligibility and family lineage.

The maiden doesn’t really know our Priest, the man anyway, but she knows he has been selected from among the spiritual elite for the most important religious position.  He is the winner in a spiritual race that she doesn’t really know the rules of.   The service in the Temple could be witnessed by all, but requires years of in depth study to actually understand.  While women are allowed into parts of the Temple, the main complex of the Temple itself was strictly a male space, and much of it limited to male priests only.  To  evaluate him, she relies on the level of respect the men of her society give to this man within a male space.

People can only make decisions based on their own frame of reference.  If they have no concept of something that never impacts their decision.  This girl has to accept the approval of older wiser men as valid.  She doesn’t really know the greatness of this man, but the men do do (of course she will find out over the years by observing him at home).  When she agrees to marry the high priest, she is counting on the fact that he is acknowledged and respected by other men who do understand his immense spiritual value.  Women love a winner, even if they don’t fully understand the game.

This is something missing in modern secular society.  We don’t ask our elders for practical advice based on their life experience.  There is also, as far as I know, no concept of telling a young woman to rely on what other men say about her potential mate.  Would she even listen?  Maybe, a woman realizing that a man is respected and accepted by other men does increase her interest.  But mainstream society has lost the concept of relying the knowledge and expertise of others for critical life decisions.