You don’t have to be Jewish

I’m in a strange place.

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I am writing for a Jewish audience, yet aware that chances are, many of the actual readers online will not be Jews. I write about certain areas, especially intersexual dynamics (how men and women get together), that are somewhat taboo to openly discuss in Orthodox Jewish circles. We all know what goes on between men and women but it requires special sensitivity and the proper situation to talk about it.

The “Red Pill” approach to relationships and masculinity is also considered politically incorrect to liberal Jews. The more liberal strains of Judaism have been largely compromised by feminist and secular values, and no longer value conventional Biblical depictions of masculinity and family.

The Red Pill approach to spirituality is relevant to religious people of any denomination. There is spiritual energy masked behind physical existence, that humans can tap into and use. Most men, most of the time, ignore the spiritual development of our lives. This idea too is not commonly discussed even among religious persons, let alone in the wider secularized society.

But these “Red Pill” approaches to life are useful. They work: you get better results when you start living with your eyes open, discard the limitations of external conditioning, and change your actions to succeed in the world as it really is.

One thing I do want to make crystal clear is that you don’t have to be Jewish. You can make use of Jewish tools, ideas, and wisdom without becoming Jewish. In fact, if you go to a Jewish rabbi and ask to convert, he will talk you out of it.

Jews don’t have the Christian concept of evangelism or spreading the gospels, not the Muslim propaganda of Dawah to convert nonbelievers. Nothing I write is to encourage you be Jewish. You would have to be a little crazy to want to become Jewish, we are the most hated and persecuted people in history. To this day, Jews can get (God forbid) attacked, ridiculed, and murdered for nothing more then being Jews. Also, no more bacon if you go Jewish.

The Bible does have a concept of the Seven commandments for the children of Noah. These are basic moral expectations for every descendant of Noah, i.e. every human, not just Jewish ones. These are: do not worship idols, curse God, commit murder, adultery or sexual immorality, steal, eat flesh torn from a living animal, and do establish courts of justice for a just society. Chabad has more background. Jews have these seven plus 613 more commandments specific for Jews.


Establish courts of justice

I am not writing to influence you, but why am I writing?
On a personal level, as an American and a Jew, I appreciate and honor what Americans have accomplished historically.  America, despite all its problems, is still basically a free and just society. The founding fathers of America, when they set up our government, used certain universal concepts from the Hebrew Bible, including equality under the law. They wanted America to become a “shining beacon on a hill” (shining city for Reagan fans) to show the rest of the world the ideas of freedom and self governance.

That attitude mirrors the Jewish concept of being an example of holiness and proper conduct to the wider world. This idea is expressed in the prophet Isaiah 42:5-9 and 49:6, where Jews are called to act as “a light for nations”. Deuteronomy 4:5-6 has a similar concept.

Intellectuals among the founders of the USA were especially interested in the Hebrew Bible and our Prophets as a source of social and political ideals.  There was even some discussion by Ben Franklin about making ancient Hebrew the official language.

Moshe Feinstein, a European rabbi who escaped to America and became one of the greatest figures in modern Jewish law, made this comment about politics and freedom in the ominous year of 1939:

Every superstition and every nonsensical opinion in the world claims to bring light to the world and creates beautiful things to deceive and win over adherents. However, since many do not espouse them, they compel anyone they can, with sword and spear, to adopt their views.

This is true in all times, with respect to both matters of faith and matters of ideology, past and present, and especially in Russia and Germany … Ultimately, all that is left is wickedness, not the ideology it was fashioned to support; what need do they have for it once they have swords and spears? … In the end, only the sword and spear remain, while the light is completely extinguished, as we see in the extremes of Germany and Russia…

It thus emerges that no national regime may espouse a single system of beliefs.  Rather, it must only serve its function, which is to see that no one perpetrates injustice against another, steals, or murders, for if not for the fear of the regime, people would swallow one another alive. However, with regard to opinion, religion, and speech, everyone shall be free to do as he wishes.

Therefore, the United States, which established in its Constitution 150 years ago that it will not uphold any faith or any ideology, rather, that each person shall do as he desires, and the regime will see that people do not molest one another, is carrying out God’s will. It is for that reason that they have succeeded and become great in our times.

(Darash Moshe, Vol. I, pp. 415-6)

America was rightly seen as the exception to states that sanctioned their official ideology to the exclusion of all others.  In later works, Rav Moshe called America medinat hahesed “the land of kindness”, for allowing religious freedom. For Jews who escaped the situation in Europe, where there was a long history of state sanctioned religious coercion and discrimination, this is an immense kindness.

In my opinion, because America valued religious tolerance and equality under the law, there was a special divine favor granted to America. Since America was the land of the free, people who were oppressed sought to move here, and took a special pride in their new native land.

America did not demand that immigrants to become something else in order to join. You could be both Irish and American, Jewish and American, Chinese and American, atheist and American. This made it was easy for newcomers to become patriotic citizens. Freedom and tolerance leads to proud and productive citizens. Otto von Bismarck said: “God has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United States of America.”  If you study American history with an open mind, you will see this for yourself.

Enjoying the decline?


I also have an awareness that America is in trouble in many areas, especially in intergender dynamics. The causes are many, the results are more divorces, fewer and later marriages, less children, more in single parent homes, more damaged souls.

There is a stark contrast between many secular people I know, who were not seriously interested in marriage until close to age 30, and Orthodox Jews, who are almost always married with children by 30. The divorce rates are also vastly different. Maybe there is something that conventional Jews are doing right in their relationships that can be extrapolated to the broader American society. Maybe the Torah itself, the Bible, has some relevance for modern men looking for a fulfilling romantic life. Maybe I can help somehow.

There are many who say “Enjoy the decline”, and assume the fall or slow rot of America as we know it is inevitable, or those who espouse men to Go Their Own Way (MGTOW). I understand these sentiments. Admittedly, since I am a member of a religious minority, and spend much of my time around my fellow conventional Jews, I don’t experience the full depths of depravity in modern secular society.

But I am not isolated from the mainstream culture. I know there are serious issues. There are also times when Orthodox Jews end up in the same predicaments as anyone else (and tell me about them). Then there are the statistics, that the USA leads the world in divorce, in single parent households, in juvenile delinquency and incarceration.

Statistics alone don’t tell the full story. I have met many, Jewish and not, and heard personal stories that point to fundamental systemic problems in families and in male-female relationships in this country. Sometimes I walk into a room full of young Orthodox Jews who, busy with full time Torah learning, are more insulated from the wider culture. I feel the “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe” sentiment.

Back to our hypothesis that the USA historically enjoyed divine assistance because America provided equality under the law and thereby became a haven for the free expression of religion. John Adams famously wrote about the constitution: “Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

Today’s American mainstream culture tolerates and accepts as normal moral abominations and open insanity, and despises the free expression of religion when that expression conflicts with designated victim groups endorsed by the elites and media. It could be that in our generation, some of the ingredients that invoked divine favor for America are missing. Friends, we’re a long, long way from John Adams and Otto von Bismarck.

Now we are in an era when the federal government told public schools they must let men who identify as women into the girls’ bathroom; when bakers are forced to decorate a cake for a wedding they believe is not a wedding, or lose their business and reputation; when freedom of speech is only allowed at the whim of the easily offended; when women’s athletic records are broken by men pretending to be women; when professional psychologists insist masculinity itself is dangerous to mental health. Why would God want to save such an upside down backwards culture? Maybe it is too late.

But there is always hope. You can’t save everyone. But you can try to help those who will listen. God gave each person free will. All of us can raise ourselves to sublime heights, barely lower than angels, or lower ourselves into the depths of hell, one free choice at a time.

Certainly we can reach out to people who are trying to make a better life for themselves and their families by living life with eyes open, trying to understand the dynamics at play, be they sexual, financial, or spiritual. I feel that if there is a chance I can help someone, I should try to help. At the end of the day, it’s God who will decide the fate of the USA and every individual here.


The People of the Book and You

When God made the Jewish people into the People of the Book, He already knew that the Book was going to become the bestselling book for the ages, for all humanity. God asked us Jews, right before giving us the Torah, the Book, if we would be a Kingdom of Priests and Holy Nation (Exodus 19:6).  We agreed to this mission.

Our commentators explain the use of the word “Priests” in this context. Not every Jew can be an actual Priest (Cohen), as that role is reserved for the sons of Aaron.  Ibn Ezra says it means we are “servants”, while the Sforno says it means “teachers”. So Jews, in relation to the wider world, can function as examples of holiness, or servants, or teachers. Or fill all of these roles in a certain sense.

So, if you are not Jewish, thank you for reading, and remember that I’m not trying to get you interested in becoming Jewish.  I hope you can glean something useful to your own life. God calls the Bible “Torat Haim” which is literally “The instructions for life”. It’s an instruction manual for man written by the One who designed mankind.

The Bible contains key concepts that can help men and women have healthy romantic and sexual relationships. But the Bible has actionable wisdom for every area of your life, as I hope to explain. You don’t have to be Jewish to use it.


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