Amazing law in today’s Talmud learning:

Rav Huna said: One who was travelling along the way or in the desert, and he does not know when Shabbat occurs, he counts six days from the day that he realized that he lost track of Shabbat and then observes one day as Shabbat.  Ḥiyya bar Rav says:  He first observes one day as Shabbat and then he counts six weekdays. The Gemara explains: With regard to what do they disagree? One Sage, Rav Huna, held: It is like the creation of the world, weekdays followed by Shabbat. And one Sage, Ḥiyya bar Rav, held: It is like Adam, the first man, who was created on the sixth day. He observed Shabbat followed by the six days of the week.

 

This poor soul was out travelling through the wilderness, got lost, caught up in a massive sandstorm or fell ill.  Now he has no clue what day it is.  The actual Sabbath is every seven days, on a fixed schedule.  But if a man loses track of that universal schedule, he should not despair, rather he begins his own schedule.

The Sabbath is our day to recharge, reflect on the past week and refocus our energies for the upcoming week. A time for family, friends, learning, and consolidating personal growth. Even a man out of touch with the global Sabbath needs the opportunity of Sabbath in his life every week.

 

In modern life, we often lose track of time. There are so many distractions, so much going on. We can easily lose the opportunity to work on ourselves and improve as men. The wisdom here is that when we feel lost, the first thing to do is set up a schedule. To build the time for personal growth into our life. If you don’t schedule it in, something will come up, someone will want your attention. You must make an ironclad commitment to increase your own personal power at a certain time, to work on physical, mental, and spiritual fitness.

 

Your time is your most valuable asset.  Set aside time for yourself, to improve yourself, every week, without fail.  On a very practical level, if you don’t know where to begin, I advise you pick three days in a week.  They shalt be known as arm day, leg day, and reading day.  Pick a time with minimal distractions and get to work.  Work out your body and mind.  Expand your abilities and horizons.

 

Today in the Talmud we begin the famous chapter “Klal Gadol” Great Concept.  This section touches on vital aspects of knowledge and intention.  A man needs to know that it is Shabbat, know this act is forbidden and intend to perform the action in order to be liable for work on Shabbat.

What about a Jewish man who never knew the concept of Shabbat, maybe he had been captured as a child or converted but never got to learn all the laws of Judaism.  (A man who knew and forgot may also be in this category).

When he learns about Shabbat, he realizes that he has done many forbidden acts on many different Sabbaths.  Our sages rule that even if he has done a million acts of labor over the years, he brings only one single offering to atone for all.  There is a profound wisdom here if you look deeply.

You may know a man like this.  It may even be you.  He has gone his entire life thinking one way and adhering to a certain set of rules and values (the ones society pushed on him).  Then something shatters his life, maybe losing a job, divorce or illness, or being exposed to information that clearly shows what he thought he knew was wrong.

Now he has a choice.  He now knows he was making serious life errors.  He can beat himself up about each and every mistake he made over decades, he can relive all those fruitless days and get depressed.  Or he can sigh, suck it up, and decide to move on and start over from today on.  This is the message of our sages.  Don’t suffer over what you didn’t know.  Realize you were wrong and fix it from now on.

Incredibly, this chapter of Talmud about items we can wear or carry in public on the Sabbath contains so much profound wisdom.

Our Mishnah taught that princes may go out with bells, and the same is true for anyone . The Gemara asks: Who is the teacher who holds that all men are permitted to conduct themselves like princes and go out with precious ornaments?  Rabbi Oshaya said: It is Rabbi Shimon, who said: All of Israel are princes. Therefore, since precious ornaments are suitable for every man, they will not remove them to show off or remove them due to concern that people will think them pretentious.

Rabbi Shimon, the famous Bar Yochai, says that Every man is a prince.

We have discussed that Judaism, while clearly valuing community, is an individualistic religion. Every person matters, each man has unique and vital mission.  There is no one like you, with your specific mix of talents, knowledge, and drives.

The danger is that we forget our personal individual value.  When we forget that we are royalty, we do not live up to our high standards.  When we forget we are sons of the King, we make mistakes.  Modern society, for many reasons, pushes men to forget that they are princes. Find a way to remind yourself – take care of your appearance and clothing, speak and act in a dignified manner.  You are a prince!

The Gemara continues:

Rava said: The mishna is referring to a case where the bell is woven into his garment, obviating the concern lest he remove it, and the mishna is in accordance with the statements of all, not merely the statement of Rabbi Shimon.

The Mishnah can reflect the views of Rabbi Shimon and the other Rabbis also, when the bells are woven into clothing, the person will not take them off and carry them.  When a man “weaves” his value into his clothing, meaning that he internalizes the notion that he has a unique value to the world, then all the Rabbis agree that he is a prince.  On a practical level, if you always dress in a dignified way you are more likely to act as a prince.  When you take care of yourself and internalize your value, you carry yourself like a man.

 

May we merit to realize our individual value and act in accordance.

Inspirational message for men in today’s Talmud learning…

Our sages taught that a boy can go into the public thoroughfare with knots tied on him, and that these knots are a cure.  The Gemara questions what the cure is, and explains that the cure is for a boy who is deeply connected to his father, and affected when the father leaves.  We call this separation anxiety.  The father, before leaving, would take one strap from his sandal and tie it on his son’s arm.  The father is giving a memento, showing the son “I am with you”.  This prevents the boy from feeling abandoned.

 

Rashi says this cure does not apply to girls, since they are less affected by a father’s absence as the father has a deeper love for sons.  Obviously fathers love girls as well. But the father sees himself in his son. The son is the continuation of the father.  He carries the family name and legacy on into the next generation.  So a father takes a piece of himself and attaches it to his son, to always be with him.

 

Our ancient sages were well aware of the power of the bond between fathers and sons.  The Bible itself uses this analogy, stating that we are the sons of God, Deut  14:1 (nothing about that statement is literal, God has no body).  The relationship is so intense that the son can get sick when the father is gone.  The ancients knew about the power of a healthy father child relationship.

 

Compare this with modern society, which at best minimizes and at worst ridicules and defiles the role of fathers in the family.  The importance of fathers is undermined, we are told that a mother can be both a mother and a father.  This is simply not true, as our sages taught, there are different roles for men and women in raising children.  Single mothers are told they can raise boys just as well as two parent households.  Then when the kids go wrong, they ask “Where was his father?!”

 

We have discussed how modern mainstream culture makes it very hard for men to marry and start a family without significant risks.  The unparalleled father son bond is one of the benefits to keep in mind when evaluating the risks.

 

 

Incredibly enough (there are no true coincidences) tonight Jews celebrate Lag B’Omer, the 33^rd day of counting the Omer.  This is the Yom Petirah of the great Rabbi Shimon Bar Yohai about 2000 years ago.  Rabbi Shimon is the assumed composer of the Zohar, the source of mystical Judaism ie Kabbalah.

The Talmud described his isolation in the cave as a wanted man – but amazingly he took his son Elazar with him.  Why?  Today’s learning reveals the reason.  Young Elazar would have taken ill from Shimon’s lengthy exile. Rabbi Shimon understood that the danger of taking his son on the run from the murderous Romans was actually less dangerous than leaving him without a father. This contains a crucial message for today’s fathers.

Today our Talmud continues discussing which clothing and accessories can be worn on the Sabbath.  The Mishnah mentions that Jewish women living in Arab lands could go out in the garb customary for women in those countries, which covered everything except their eyes.  This is now known as burqa or niqab.

The custom among Jewish women was never like this, but since this was the required garb for women in some Arab countries, our women could also follow that mode of dress.  This was not only in those places, but anywhere, though it would have looked ridiculous outside of Arabia.

Today seeing a woman dressed like in America this would not be ridiculous.  Even if you never saw it in person, you are familiar with the fact that some women, for various reasons, actually dress like this.

We live in an interesting time where we are able to see how people we never actually meet live their lives.  There is a global marketplace of items and ideas.  With the internet we instantly get information from everywhere in the world, and we can choose to emulate the styles and customs of people raised in a totally different culture.

This is an opportunity and a danger.  Your ideas and practices now need to compete against the entire world.  You need to be better compared not just to the men in your local area, but around the entire globe.

The Gemara today mentions that Shmuel’s father, himself an accomplished scholar, did not allow his daughters to share a bed.  It was fairly common in those times for family members to share one bed.  The Gemara asks if this was due to a worry about the temptation of sexual contact between the girls.

Our Gemara concludes Shmuel’s father actually did not want the girls to get used to sleeping in proximity with others, so they would not seek out men before they got married.  He wasn’t worried about lesbian behaviors.

The Bible does not ban lesbian activities, but our sages point out that a lack of ban is not an endorsement.  Today’s Talmud study points out that according to some opinions lesbian behavior would render the girls unable to marry a High Priest, or maybe even a regular Priest (see Tosafot).  This is even though the girls are technically still virgins, as no copulation occurs between two girls.  We just discussed the importance of virginity and the requirements for the wife of the High Priest.

The lesson here is a woman can be a “virgin” technically, depending on your definitions, without being a complete virgin in her intimate experience.  A woman may give you a certain impression about her past based on her own definitions, without revealing the entire truth.

This is especially when she is seeking a long term relationship or marriage, and she does not want to be seen as someone who has been around the block.  This is because a woman who has been around the block is less likely to be happy in a marriage and remain in a marriage, and a man knows this on some level.  Ergo the “born again virgin“.

We discussed how a woman’s past impacts her emotional availability for her future.  Aware of this truth, you need to inquire carefully about a woman’s past, knowing that she may be hiding certain elements, and may have formed deep emotional attachments without complete physical attachments.

Gentlemen, a truly inspiring page of Talmud today.

Our sages are discussing items that were captured in the war with Midian.  This war was an extremely important event on the spiritual-political level and continues to be relevant in our daily lives on a practical level.  The Bible uses the rules about the captured vessels to teach us about making utensils kosher and pure.  After the battle, the soldiers brought captured items made of gold as a donation to the Tabernacle, since none of them had fallen in battle:

“And we have brought an offering before the Lord what every man has gotten of jewels of gold, chains, and bracelets, rings, agil, and kumaz, to make atonement for our souls before the Lord” (Numbers 31:50).

So it turns out the “agil” is a breastplate… for women.  A golden bustier.  A “kumaz” is an ornate plate covering a woman’s private parts.  Golden lingerie.  Why were these items captured on the battlefield?  The women should have been at home!

When the Jewish army came, the Midianites sent their most beautiful women, decorated as harlots with these items, to try and seduce the Jewish soldiers.  These women had already seduced Jews, leading to the zealot Pinhas assassinating a prince and many Jews dying.  The sin with the women would remove the Divine protection on the Jewish army and allow the Midianites to prevail.

If not one soldier was seduced and killed, then why did the Jewish army bring a tribute?  The Gemara explains the discussion between the generals and Moses:

Moses said to Israel: Perhaps you have returned to your original sinful behavior, (with the daughters of Moab and Midian?)  They said to him: “Not one man of us is missing” (Numbers 31:49), we were not seduced.  He said to them: If so, why do you need atonement?  They said to him: If we have escaped the clutches of transgression, we have not escaped the clutches of thoughts of transgression.  Since they thought about sinning, they realized and immediately: “And we have brought an offering before the Lord.”

The Sages in the academy of Rabbi Yishmael taught: For what reason did Israel in that generation require atonement?  שֶׁזָּנוּ עֵינֵיהֶם מִן הָעֶרְוָה Because they nourished their eyes from nakedness.

Gentlemen, this is not intended to be preachy.  But here it is.  Looking at women does affect you.  The ancient Jewish soldiers looked at the most gorgeous Midianites, sent out in decorated lingerie to seduce them, and they almost sinned.  You can imagine to longing looks and body language from the Midianite girls.  They wanted the Jewish soldiers in the worst way.

Now, in war in ancient times it was normal for winning soldiers to take women as spoils and make them war brides.  The war with Midian was an exception as these women were responsible for seducing Jews to idolatry and had to be punished.

The Jewish soldiers realized that because of their temptation they should bring the ornaments that were used to try to inspire sin as an offering.  Even though not one soldier was actually seduced!

That is a high level of personal purity.  Remember that in ancient times, practically every woman dressed in a modest fashion.  Seeing women dressed in revealing items that accentuated their sexuality was an extreme event.

For modern men, you see women less than fully clothed on a fairly regular basis, if you have a TV or unfiltered internet, or live near a beach.  It is not as shocking or surprising.  But the Bible reveals that it still impacts you.  Women are not stupid, they know how to use their bodies, body language, gestures, clothing, and accessories to draw your attention and desire.  They know how to seduce you, to manipulate your desires.

The Bible says “You shall not stray after your heart and after your eyes” (Bamidbar 15:39).  Our sages explains that the heart and the eyes get the body into trouble.  The eye sees, the heart desires, and the body commits the sin (Rashi).  The Torah places the heart before the eyes, but Rashi reverses the order, stating that first the eye sees, and then the heart desires.

If you are aware the power that visual stimulation has on you, then you can be aware of this reality and take steps to avoid being manipulated.  I’m not telling anyone what to do with their life, I’m telling you to be aware of the power the seeing a desirable woman has on you.

Simply amazing Mishnah in today’s Talmud kicks off a tour de force:

MISHNA: Just as it is prohibited for a woman to carry out certain items into the public domain, the Sages said that a man may neither go out on Shabbat with a sword, nor with a bow, nor with a shield, nor with an alla, nor with a spear.  And if he unwittingly went out with one of these weapons to the public domain he is liable to bring a sin-offering.

Rabbi Eliezer says: These weapons are ornaments for him; just as a man is permitted to go out into the public domain with other ornaments, he is permitted to go out with weapons.

And the Rabbis say: They are nothing other than embarrassment, since in the future they will be eliminated, as it is written: “And they shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; nation will not raise sword against nation, neither will they learn war anymore” (Isaiah 2:4).

In the current world where conflict is a reality, weapons are a “decoration” for a man, and we don’t mean like jewelry.  Because of their utility weapons are an appropriate adornment for a man – they show this armed man is ready to protect himself, his family, his people.  He is trained to stand up against evil, and willing to put himself in danger to save others.  They increase his standing in the eyes of those who see him, earning the admiration of his fellows and the fear of his enemies.

In the Messianic era of peace, since they will not have utility, they will not be a decoration any longer.  Our sages debate exactly how different the Messianic era will be from the current era, based on prophecy.  The Gemara brings another version where Rabbi Eliezer states that weapons won’t be eliminated in the Messianic era, like Shmuel’s opinion that the Messianic era is not totally different.

Rav Kook said we Jews celebrate the ideal of peace “lo yisa goy”.  Rabbi Eliezer himself said peace is great, but here he says weapons are necessary.  Rav Kook explains that the power of deterrence creates the peace.  Deterrence through weapons is the way to get to peace in this world.

[Great contemporary poskim say weapons are kli shmelachto lheter, and not muktze.  Even though the classic purpose is to shoot the guns, which is starting a fire, the more common and main purpose is to deter and prevent attacks.]

Rabbi Eliezer brings as support the verse “Gird your sword upon your thigh, mighty one, your glory and your splendor” (Psalms 45:4), indicating that a sword is considered an ornament.  Rav Kahana said to Mar, son of Rav Huna: Is that really a proof? This verse is written in reference to a man’s Torah learning and should be interpreted as a metaphor. Mar said to him: Nevertheless, a verse does not depart from its literal meaning, although there may be additional homiletical interpretations.

Besides the deeper interpretation, we never forget the simple meaning – and the verse says sword even though it implies a man’s wisdom must also be readily available to him.  King David meant a man should have both spiritual and physical weapons at the ready.  A mighty man needs his wisdom ready at hand, and also his physical power available (his sword on his hip).

Another wisdom here is we make things complicated when they should be simple and obvious.

 

Rabbi Soloveitchik wrote that it is amazing to see that in Israel the Jewish people has returned to this reality of using both spiritual and physical weapons. It is inspiring to see the students in Hesder Yeshivah, Gemara in their hands and carbine slung on their back.  This is a return to the way of King David, the scholar and soldier.

 

You need both spiritual/intellectual and physical accomplishment in life.  The Talmud continues, explaining “Length of days is in her right hand and in her left hand are riches and honor” (Proverbs 3:16).

“Length of days” is often interpreted as long life, but also means quality of life and accomplishment.  When you deal with Wisdom using your right arm, the assumed stronger arm, you are putting your effort into your learning and scholarship.  The reward is a more fulfilling life in the long run.  Your days feel longer when you are using them for meaningful things.

A man involved in the physical who gives minimal effort to his intellectual life will have nothing to do when he is older and his physical desires and powers weaken.  In old age, his days are fairly empty.  A man who develops his spiritual and intellectual side will continue to have meaningful engagement in the world even when he is elderly and physically frail.

The Gemara also explains a verse that illustrates our concept:

“Rejoice young man in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth, and walk in the ways of your heart and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment” (Ecclesiastes 11:9)?

 

Today’s learning goes on to discuss partners learning together, sharpening one another with their questions and debate. We taught about this concept.

This applies for both physical and intellectual pursuits. Men come together to improve themselves and one another.  Find yourself a sensei and a Rabbi, you need a sparring partner and a debating partner.  The Gemara states better to attach yourself to a scholar who bears grudges and takes revenge like a snake than to a non scholar.  You can often learn more from someone who takes you to task.  Find a teacher.

This week Jews around the world study Leviticus 21:1–24:23, the section called “Emor” meaning Speak.

Moses is commanded to speak to the Priests (Cohanim) about maintaining their personal purity. The Priests need to be available to perform sacrificial services on behalf of the Jewish people, so God commands them to keep a higher standard of ritual purity. A Cohen is required to avoid a funeral, as a dead body is a source of spiritual contamination.

The exception to the rule is that a Cohen can attend the funeral of close family members. These include his wife, parents, children, brother or sister – but only when she is a virgin (Lev 21:3). The Bible is reminding us about the importance of virginity. A woman’s identity and personal status changes with her maidenhood. Once the young woman has lived with a man, she is less connected to her family of origin and now joined to this man from outside the family.

While her parents (with God’s help) formed and raised this girl, her husband in a sense completed her development by joining with her in a relationship and making her body physically different.  Through sexual intimacy, she has changed from being only a part of her biological family to now being connected to a new person. She is no longer a child in her parent’s home, but is now an adult responsible for building her own family.

Our ancestors, like all ancient cultures, understood the importance of virginity in a young woman’s life. The Bible testifies that losing her virginity changes the woman’s affinities away from her family and towards her lover. He becomes the main man in her eyes, the importance of her father and brothers decreases. In Jewish law, one of the ways to marry a woman is through physical intimacy (nowadays we give a ring). The act changes her body and her status vis a vis the man.

The power of virginity is denied in modern secular society. Young women in mainstream society are pressured to give up virginity by a media and education system that encourages sexual exploration at a young age. It’s not “cool” to be a virgin anymore, and “bad girls” get more attention from men since they are willing to use their bodies to attract them. Many women are heavily influenced to go all the way before marriage, with contrary messages only found within religious subcultures.

When society as a whole devalues virginity, a woman is more likely to part with it. Since modern mainstream culture is based on the false assumption men and women are the same, girls are taught that just like boys don’t change when they lose their virginity, so too girls. This is obviously false, not just on a physical level but in the psychological and emotional domains as well.

The Bible is Eternal wisdom. The Torah is called “instructions for living”, it is the user manual for humanity. Virginity still has a profound impact on a woman even when modern interests and media manipulation try to convince her otherwise.

As a cognate to the high spiritual level of the priests, the Bible also has a higher expectation of their daughters.  “When the daughter of a priest defiles herself through harlotry, it is her father whom she defiles; she shall be put to the fire.” Lev 21:9. This refers to execution by burning, one of the most severe punishments the court can mete out.

The actions of a daughter reflect on her parents, showing everyone there were problems with her upbringing. As we know, the apples does not fall far from the tree. The Cohen is called on to be a loyal servant dedicated to God.  If his daughter is disloyal to her husband or fiancé, this hints that her father is less than loyal to his own mission. His spiritual weakness affected his children and they learned by example to be less than fully loyal.

In addition, the daughter of a Cohen is burned, while the typical punishment for adultery is stoning (Deuteronomy 22:24, Talmud Sanhedrin 66b). There is some discussion among our sages, but burning is considered the most severe death penalty (this was actually an internal burning with molten metal, see Talmud Sanhedrin). The bigger they are, the harder they fall. This concept means those on a high spiritual level, the Priests, fall to a lower level if they should sin.

A good father is always worried about his family, especially their intellectual and spiritual growth.  The man is responsible for the spiritual attainments of his household, he sets the example.  This is headship as we explained regarding Abraham.

The High Priest and the Virgin

There was one Priest elevated above the others, the high Priest, Cohen Gadol. We discussed his selection and elevation in Tetzaveh: Clothing makes the man? Men make a man.

The High Priest is called Cohen Gadol in Hebrew, and the verse actually states “Gadol me’ehav” meaning great from his brothers.  The plain meaning is this man must be better than his brothers, but our sages note that should be written with different grammar.  Rather we learn from here that his brothers makes him great.  He becomes great through his brothers, from his brothers.  From how his fellow men treat him:  If he is poorer they give him wealth.  If he is not very learned they teach him Torah.  (Talmud Yoma 19, Mishneh Torah, Klei Hamikdash 5:1).

We see the High Priest is something special, and the other Priests make sure he is wealthy and wise as he is the figurehead of the Temple Service.  The Cohen Gadol is the only one who can perform the special Yom Kippur service on the day of atonement.  He also brings an offering every day.  The High Priest cannot attend any funeral, as he must attend to the sacrificial serve each day.  He may not even show any signs of mourning.  In addition:

He may marry only a woman who is a virgin.  A widow, or a divorced woman, or one who is degraded by harlotry—such he may not marry.  Only a virgin of his own people may he take to wife—that he may not profane his offspring among his kin, for I the LORD have sanctified him.  (Lev 21:13-15).

By a regular Cohen the commandment allows widows:

They shall not marry a woman defiled by harlotry, nor shall they marry one divorced from her husband. For they are holy to their God (21:7)

Both the normal Cohen and the Cohen Gadol are holy, but by the High Priest there is a special emphasis on his offspring.  There is a reason for this.  The Torah is not merely saying that we don’t want the Cohen Gadol to marry a girl who is already pregnant by a different man, that is obvious.

It’s more than that: God does not want him to marry a girl who ever experienced another man at all.  Her prior sexual experiences, even without pregnancy, would impact her marriage to the High Priest, and undermine her ability to be completely dedicated to their children.

We touched on this concept by Isaac and Rebecca:

…she is described as very beautiful, a virgin, and not known by any man (24:16).  You understand, the Torah does not waste ink.  There are no extra words in the Bible.  If she is a virgin it is obvious no man has “known” her (see Rashi, Ibn Ezra).  The Be’er Mayim Haim suggests that this also means that no man in her city even recognized her, due to her modesty and staying away from men.

I want to suggest an additional level of interpretation based on the Be’er Mayim Haim: when a woman offers herself to a man, that man “knows” her essence.  I’m talking on a spiritual and emotional level, the physical part is obvious.  A woman who tries to attract men is letting those men get to know her, at least on a visual level, and often that leads to a deeper knowledge.  Rebecca never showed herself off to the men in her city, she never tried to seek male attention as an object of their desire.

A woman letting a man into her heart is emotionally investing in him, thinking (at least for now) that he is a best man she can get.  Her thoughts, her knowledge, her plans, are of him and with him.  This is the “knowing” that the Bible uses of as a euphemism for intimacy.  Even a woman interested in a man she will likely never get, a crush on a movie star for instance, involves that woman giving part of her heart and mind to that man.  Her thoughts are on that man, even if he never even knows it, he gets a part of her.

Rebecca was special because she never did that.  Not only was she physically unsullied, but her heart had never been opened to any man.  Her mind had never yearned for any man.  She never had a crush on whatever type of man passed for a rock star 4000 years ago.  All of her capacity for emotional attachment was still available for her future husband and family.  She was perfect, unknown to any man, with no man in her heart yet.  She never showed herself off to men to get attention.  She was the female equivalent of Isaac, who is compared to a pure and unblemished holy offering.  And that is why she was worthy to be the second of the matriarchs.

We also just saw in our daily Talmud learning an amazing episode of married women trying to attract other men, and contrasted the loyal Jewish women in Egypt to the licentious women in Jerusalem.

The High Priest is utterly dedicated to his mission, he is the only one who can perform the special Yom Kippur offerings.  In a sense, the High Priest is similar to our patriarch Isaac.  Isaac was ready to give up his very life to serve God as an offering (Genesis 22).

The Cohen Gadol dedicates his life to God’s service, to the extent that he cannot even attend a funeral of his family member or show any sign of mourning.  He is the representative of the Jewish nation in front of God, he is at their service.  He must conquer his own feelings of grief or distress since he is central to the greater mission of linking our entire people to the Divine.  He is utterly loyal to this pursuit.

He must have a woman who is likely purely dedicated to him and their children, without any subtle hint of disloyalty.  She must be a mirror of her husband, the man fully dedicated to his mission.  She cannot even have thoughts of intimacy with another man, a past lover.  With an unspoiled body comes a mind and soul dedicated to her vital mission as the wife of the high priest.

Back in Tetzaveh: Clothing makes the man? Men make a man, We said:

The High Priest needs a woman who will be 100% supportive of his mission.  He has to spend long hours in the Temple, dealing with prayers, sacrifices and the spiritual needs of the people.  He can’t waste time and energy competing with a prior love interest living in his wife’s head.

As we discussed, the Cohen Gadol has a specific divine mission.  Most of the Book of Leviticus deals with the Tabernacle and sacrificial services.  Since his mission was recognized as vital to the entire nation, everyone gave him respect when he was engaged in his work.  His virgin wife necessarily understood the importance of her husband’s role.

Here lies the challenge for mainstream men, as I see it: modern society is fragmented, and there are very few pursuits that automatically grant widespread respect for the men engaged in them.  Professional athletes and performers in the entertainment industry usually get respect based on their talent, plus firemen and doctors for their vital work.  Most men don’t get society wide recognition that what they do is vital for our entire society.

Right now people are thanking healthcare workers but ignoring trucker drivers, store stockers, and delivery men.  And most of us thank God don’t personally need the healthcare workers, but we all need the men in the background taking care of the logistics, keeping the shelves stocked and our homes stocked.  But who sees their work as valuable?  Do young women realize their role and importance in our lives?

You need to choose your mission not for the benefit of society, but for yourself. Yes, a trucker benefits the whole country, but he has to love his work.  He has to work for him, to make it his mission.  For many men our jobs are not a major source of pride and personal accomplishment, so we work on projects, hobbies, sports, a side hustle.  Some find accomplishment in mentoring other men.  This may be very valuable but there is a danger you are doing it to feel important.  Do it for you, ask yourself would I keep doing this if I was not getting recognized by others?

As a conventional Jew, it’s a real privilege to learn divine wisdom.  I understand that what I am doing is important, and others in my subculture see it as important as well.  There is a certain level of respect that comes from being involved in learning and teaching Torah, and a pride in understanding and accomplishing.  I have other men ask me questions about what to do, based on Jewish law, because I put in the time and effort to learn (a tiny part) of the law.

Some men in our community take pride in fund raising for Jewish institutions, or volunteering for Hatzalah (Jewish ambulance and EMS) or organizing events for synagogues and schools.  Conventional Jewish society recognized these activities as important missions for our people.  Since we are still very community oriented, helping the community is seen as valuable.

However, mainstream society as a whole mostly downplays male professions and activities.  This puts you at a disadvantage.  People, especially women, won’t appreciate what you are doing because society does not place extra value on it.  Understand that and don’t rely on outside opinion for your personal value.

The key here is to do what you do for you.  First you find meaning and accomplishment in your daily life.  This gives you the feeling of self importance that others will see in you.  It starts with you realizing your own importance.  If you aren’t doing anything you are proud of, then start.  Begin with learning and lifting, fix your mind and body.  Hit the books and the gym, become someone you are proud of.

We have explored how Judaism at the core is an individualistic faith that values each person.  Jews understand that every single human being is made in the Divine image for a specific mission.  Since that essay itself is a tremendous powerhouse, I’ll give you a teaser:

We were chosen to be the partner with God in creation (a junior partner).  This is one of the secrets in Genesis 1:26 “let us make man“.  Angels do not create, they do not develop or change; God is not really talking to angels.  In one sense, God is using the ‘royal plural’.  In another sense, God is talking to man, to us.  To you!  Telling you: “Let us make man!” Join God in the work of making yourself into a man.

Stop right here and reflect:  You are an entire world.  There is no one exactly like you in existence.  There never was before and there never will be again.

You have unique talents and hold tremendous potential:  You are a world unto yourself, and you can create worlds, or destroy them.  You have been given a mission to make yourself into whatever you choose to be and you are infused with the power to accomplish anything.  Your choices matter.

My rabbi taught us an amazing thing.  He said take every man seriously.  This man in front of you could cure cancer.  He could start a nuclear war (this was back when that was the worst fear).  Most of all, take yourself seriously.

Brothers, you can become a partner in creation with the Eternal in the most important job of your life: creating your life.  You, like the Tabernacle, are a microcosm of the universe, containing every aspect and energy of creation.  You have the responsibility to make your choices and develop your personal powers.

And as we are all interconnected, every thing you do also changes every element of the universe.  Man is the crown of creation, the last created being Talmud, Sanhedrin 38a).   Everything created before was just to prepare for us.  For you!
Our Sages say: בִּשְׁבִילִי נִבְרָא הָעוֹלָם “Bishvili nivra ha’olam” For my sake, was the universe created” (Mishna Sanhedrin 4:5).

This ancient wisdom is echoed in modern “red pill” parlance: Be Your Mental Point of Origin.*  Loosely defined, this is putting yourself as your own first priority, and making decisions based on the question “how will this affect me?”  This may sound selfish, but is closely tied in to the Jewish concept of individuality and self worth based on each of us being in the “Divine image”.

In Judaism, we put God first, but God wants each of us to succeed and connect to the Eternal, which requires putting our own self development first so we are able to get closer to God and do his will.  While Jews are acutely aware our responsibilities to the group, you can’t help anyone until you help yourself first.  You can’t bring a family or community closer to God if you don’t work on yourself.
[*Nibul peh warning for Jews, unclean words and adult content on that site]

Really men, you should read all of that essay and explore the concept of appropriate selfishness.  We have discussed elsewhere that for you as a man, the most critical decision you can make is to decide what you are living for.  You choose for you, for your benefit and well being.  Then you begin to act on that, to follow your mission.  This gives you a clarity and a power most men never realize.

The High Priest had the benefit of his ancient society that taught the value of his role.  In today’s chaotic mainstream society each of us needs to forge his own role and find his own value.  May you merit to make wise choices and develop your own mission.

Rollo did a show and mentioned that Christian feminists are using “Lilith” as a feminist symbol.  The feminist assumption is that Lilith in Jewish mythology was a proto-woman created before our mother Eve.  But according to feminist legend she rebelled against Adam, so God did a do-over with Eve.  Therefore, some feminists somewhere are using Lilith as a symbol of female pride and rebellion.

Rollo was asking about the real Lilith in ancient religious sources, as it is difficult to figure out what information is based on original sources and what is reinterpreted or just plain made up to fit an old character into a modern agenda.

I am familiar with Lilith from the Jewish Talmud, as we shall see the Lilith in the original Jewish sources is not actually a woman at all, but an evil destructive spirit.

Lilith is not in the Bible of Moses, but the name does appear in Isaiah 34:14, implying it is a destructive spirit.  Rashi there says לילית: שם שידה  Lilith is a name of a female demon.  The ‘goats’ in that verse are also demons.  The context is the future Divine retribution on the nations that had attacked the Jews, describing how their land will be laid waste and roamed by wild animals and demonic spirits.

Lilith appears multiple times in the Talmud, always as an evil demon.  As background, the Talmud (Gemara) is the major part of Jewish oral tradition, and was passed down for generations as a complement to the written Torah.  The Oral Torah gives the background info and fills in the details for the written. I explained about that here.

The word Lilith is not Hebrew but Babylonian, “Lili” is apparently mentioned as a demon in Gilgamesh (I have not read it).  Many Jews were exiled to Babylonian 2600 years ago with the destruction of the first Temple and there was a large Jewish community there for over 1000 years.  Babylonian names are used in the Talmud, and the Jewish calendar still uses Babylonian names for months.  This is a reminder of the first exile and redemption.  It appears likely that the Babylonian demons made it into Jewish mythology and into Isaiah.

In Jewish tradition, Lilith is known for giving vulnerable men inappropriate dreams causing ritual impurity (what is called a wet dream in modern America), or causing women to miscarry. Talmud Shabbat 151b

Lilith, unlike a normal human, has wings, and stillborn babies murdered by Lilith can have such a birth defect. Talmud Niddah 24b

Lilith had a demon son per Talmud Bava Batra 73a

There is a one interesting mention Eve compared with Lilith: Talmud Eruvin 100b says one of the curses put on Eve after the original sin was “she grows her hair long like Lilith”.  Apparently Lilith had unusually long hair, we can speculate that this was to induce inappropriate dreams in men.  Growing hair long can be a sign of mourning, this curse may connote that Eve began mourning over her sin.

The idea of Lilith being the first woman in Jewish mythology is an error, based on the two accounts of the creation of Man; see Genesis ch 1 versus ch 2.  There was only one creation of Man, but people who misinterpret could think that God made a man and an unnamed woman (Lilith) in chapter 1, then something happened to them… so God remade man and woman (this time Eve) in chapter 2.  This is a typical error of people reading the Bible according to their desired misinterpretations.  Both chapter 1 and 2 describe the same event, but from a different perspective (See Lonely Man of Faith).  Also, there are no chapter breaks in the original, they were added by later Christian printers.

There is an ancient Medrash (Genesis Rabbah 18:4) that some people say refers to Lilith.  Medrash are traditions that explain and give background to the written Bible, these were passed down orally from very ancient sources.  The written Bible itself is just a part of the history of the Jewish people.  However, that discussion is clearly about Eve even according to the mistake we discussed, as it explains the verses in Genesis chapter 2.  It is a very interesting Medrash and compares Eve before she was physically created to a dream of Adam that God made real.

I found an apocryphal source, an unofficial Medrash called Alphabet of Ben Sira.  This is not a source in the Jewish canon, though Ben Sira and his book is mentioned in the Talmud (Eruvin 65, see Tosafot).  Ben Sira wrote that after the sin, Adam split up with Eve, and “he was encountered by a Lilith named Piznai who, taken by his beauty, lay with him and bore male and female demons.”  This implies there was more than one Lilith and they are demon, not human.  Again, this is an outside unofficial source, not a source within the accepted scope for scripture.  The surprise here is that a demon could mate with a human, such a thing is never found in canonical Jewish sources.  This invention is likely due to Babylonian or Greek influence on the author, those cultures have instances of deities and humans interbreeding.  The Talmud (Eruvin 18) also mentions the period when Adam split up with Eve and that he repented, fasted and abstained from his wife for 130 years.  The Gemara brings a tradition that during those 130 years Adam gave birth to dark spirits, demons, and Lilin (this may be a form of Lilith).  Our sages state that his accidental nocturnal emissions gave rise to these spirits.  Recall that Lilith herself is said to induce these emissions by appearing in the dreams of sleeping men.

I am getting far afield, but there is also mention of Lilith in the mystical Zohar.  Zohar is the main sourcebook of mystical information.  There is some debate as to the actual origin and age of Zohar, but it appears to be an ancient oral tradition passed down by Jewish mystics (Kabbalists) until it was written down relatively recently.  Nowadays a lot of people, even Madonna, get into Kabbalah and Zohar without understanding the basics of the Bible.  This is not a good idea.  The Bible is compared to the main course and Jewish mysticism to the dessert.  You can’t have dessert until you digest the dinner.

The Zohar describes the mechanics of how spiritual forces work in the physical world.  To analogize, the Bible (Torah) is the user’s guide to life for human beings.  The Zohar is more like a technical manual or an engineering schematic of the universe.  I am almost totally unfamiliar with Zohar, but apparently Lilith is described as related to the forces of spiritual contamination that cause spilling seed, and she tries to murder infants or cause stillbirth and birth defects.  Lilith may also have, according to some mystical sources, appeared to King Solomon and agreed to split the baby in that famous case of two women arguing over one baby (1 Kings 3:16-28).

All of the mentions in the Talmud and Jewish sources show Lilith was a demon, not a human woman.  They also indicate she was destructive, used temptation to cause impurity, and was implicated in causing stillbirths and birth defects.  You could say that God has a certain sense of humor; it seems rather appropriate that radical pro-abortion feminists use Lilith as a celebrated symbol without understanding the original Lilith.  But she was not a woman, or a feminist, she caused damage to humanity and especially to babies.  Interesting.

This is not the first example of a Biblical character or theme being misappropriated by a modern cause.  The Bible has power and near universal recognition, so aligning your group with something in the Bible gives you some clout.

Another contemporary example is the rainbow which is used by certain groups.  The rainbow is a reminder of the flood in the days of Noah, but seeing a rainbow is not a good omen.  The appearance of a rainbow actually portends that if not for the promise God made to Noah not, then there would be a flood now to cleanse the earth.  It is sign something is wrong.  A completely righteous generation would not need to see rainbows as a reminder.  Again, once you know the deeper meaning of the rainbow, the chosen symbol is accidentally quite appropriate to the group.

There is a whole field of Jewish demonology.  Rambam (Maimonides), one of the heavy hitters in Jewish law about 1000 years ago, dismisses demons as hocus pocus.  He was a medical doctor and a known rationalist, and some of his contemporaries criticized him for relying on Greek rationalism.

However, many other Jewish authorities explain that demons were and are very real.  However, we don’t see them today due to the concept of spiritual balance.  When the forces of purity are stronger, as they were 2000 years ago when Jews had the Temple and a deeper connection to spirituality, then the opposing forces of impurity were given more freedom to influence men.  The demons could roam and influence men.  This balance is needed to allow for free will: if the power and allure of holiness in this world was great then men would obviously choose that, but without making their own decision.  God made opposing forces so men can make a meaningful choice between good and evil.  This is a key concept in the Jewish philosophy of free will.

In our generation, the spiritual is relatively weak and hidden, so the opposing powers are also mostly hidden.  The balance allows for free will and human choices to be free of Divine coercion.  There are stories of ancient and even not so ancient Rabbis of great stature feeling disturbances in the spiritual balance and acting to rectify them.  These stories could be the source of the idea of feeling a disturbance in the force…

Gentlemen, this is a very juicy daf (page) of Gemara.

Our sages are discussing carrying or wearing accessories into the public domain on Shabbat. Wearing is allowed but carrying is forbidden.  They conclude that what is a decoration just for women is a burden for men, and a decoration specifically for a man is a burden for a woman. This is based on the concept that “women are like a different nation” אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף: קָסָבַר עוּלָּא נָשִׁים עַם בִּפְנֵי עַצְמָן הֵן.  The example is that shepherds wear sackcloth to protect them in the field, so any man could wear sackcloth on Shabbat.  They are the same “nation” in terms of garments and accessories.  But women wear plain rings while men wear only signet rings, so a man wearing a plain ring would be like carrying a burden.

As we discussed, this is quite different from modern secular society that purposefully blurs the lines between men and women.

 

The Gemara brings up some of the causes of the destruction of the Temple and the Babylonian exile, this occurred 2600 years ago.  Our sages discuss the cryptic rebuke in Amos 6:4-7, and one interpretation is that some couples would eat and drink wine with each other and then swap wives for immorality, defiling and putrefying their beds, and thus were the first to be exiled.

We proved in Exodus that marital loyalty was a key reason that the Jewish people merited redemption from Egypt.  In Vayakhel we explained how the Jewish women in Egypt chose (and seduced) their enslaved husbands over their powerful masters:

From a Red Pill perspective, the women were using their most valuable asset, their desire, to refuel their husbands.  By teasing “I am prettier than you”, these women hinted to their husbands that since the men were enslaved and lowered, the women had a higher value level of attraction.  There could be an unspoken undertone that, had they not been loyal, the women could have attracted Egyptian men and gone over to their powerful captors…

We also know from Joseph’s time that the Egyptians themselves practiced open marriages. Divine retribution is not random, but exacting.  If loyalty redeems from exile and slavery, then adultery causes exile and slavery.

Our Gemara continues, discussing the prophecy related to haughty women in Isaiah 3:16:

Rava, son of Rav Ilai, interpreted Isaiah 3:16:
“Because the daughters of Zion are haughty,” indicates that they would walk with upright immodest stature.
“And walk with outstretched necks,” indicates that they would walk in small steps, heel to toe, so onlookers would notice them.
“Wanton eyes,” indicates that they would fill their eyes with blue eye shadow and beckon (wink).
“Walking and floating as they go,” women would walk a tall woman alongside a short one so that the tall woman would stand out.
“Making a tinkling with their feet,” Rabbi Yitzḥak from the school of Rabbi Ami said: This teaches that they would place myrrh and balsam in their shoes and would walk in the marketplaces of Jerusalem. And once they approached a place where the young men of Israel were, they would stamp their feet on the ground and splash the perfume toward them to instill the evil inclination into them like venom of a viper.

[I would like to patent the perfume in the shoe trick]

Rashi, commenting 1000 years ago, explains that the verses and our sages insult these women because these were married women trying to get attention from other men.  The Gemara notes that these women were punished in the same areas they tried to sin with (assumedly by being raped and beaten by the Babylonian soldiers).

The problem was married women seeking sexual attention from other men.  The implication is that a woman should be seductive and attractive to her own husband.  A woman making efforts to look beautiful and flirting with her husband in private would be celebrated, not condemned.  This is the level of the righteous women who saved our people in Egypt.  Whatever tools God makes for us in this world have a dual potential: we can use them for beautiful purposes or drag them through the mud.  We were created with free will. It is up to us to choose to elevate the physical world to purity and holiness.