Mazal tov!  Today we complete Eruvin and tomorrow we begin Pesachim.

The final Mishnah brings a disagreement about what to do when you find a “sheretz”, a ritually impure animal, in the Temple.  Do you pick up and remove it in the folds of your sash immediately, even though this contaminates your sash?   Or should you bring a flat wooden board or chopsticks to pick it up without spreading the contamination?

The Gemara notes that the fundamental disagreement is whether it is worse to delay removing the source of contamination or to spread the contamination through hasty removal.  Both opinions are based on events in 2 chronicles 29, regarding removing idols from the Temple.  The Rambam (Maimonides) rules that we bring a wooden board to prevent spreading the problem.

In the process of solving your life issues, don’t create new problems through haste.  Trying to grow and improve yourself too quickly causes errors.  We must be thoughtful and apply wise methodology.  The first step in righting yourself is to recognize your problems and contain them, preventing them from spreading negative impacts to other areas of your life.  Then work to reduce and remove your problems without degrading your overall performance.

The Talmud mentions the prohibition on making musical sounds on Shabbat, and explores how far this rule extends.  The Gemara brings a statement that women playing with nuts is forbidden on Shabbat, assuming that the nuts crashing into one another makes a loud sound.  Apparently this game was played by rolling a walnut down a ramp, aiming to crash it into a pile of other nuts.  This is reminiscent of billiards, where the opening break has a distinct sound.  The Gemara responds that the problem of women playing nuts is not the sound but that they may start to smooth down the ground to make a playing surface, which is a full blown biblical prohibition.  Our sages confirm this bringing a rule that women cannot play a similar game with apples, which don’t make the sound the nuts do.

Tosafot (early medieval comments on the Talmud) bring a rule that we don’t tell women and children not to play these games based on the philosophy “better to be mistaken than break the law on purpose”.  Doing something wrong on purpose is much worse than doing it because you think it is okay.  The assumption was that women wouldn’t listen anyway since they don’t realize that their game could cause problems with Sabbath observance.

The wisdom here is that women will play games, even if you would tell them to stop.  That’s not something wrong with them, it is simply who they are, how God made them.  For modern men, understand that women are playing games, don’t call them out in this, just play along.  When a woman who tells you she doesn’t play games, that is another game.

The Mishnah allows tying a string on Shabbat inside the Temple, even though tying permanent knots is forbidden.  What were the strings for?  The harps and other instruments that were used for the musical accompaniment to the Levite song.  The sacrificial offerings required music.

Prayer had taken the place of sacrifices.  However, In modern practice we do not use musical instruments during prayer.  In recent decades the Jewish music industry has blossomed, with many song lyrics based on prayers.  We eagerly await the recombination of song and Divine service.

Our sages in the Gemara discuss which type of knot is approved, since tying a bow is considered temporary and allowed everywhere.

Rabbi Shimon son of Elazar states that tying a bow mutes the sound of the harp.  When you fix something, be conscious of making the repair permanent and secure.  This applies especially to fixing yourself.

The Mishnah allows removing and replacing a bandage on the Temple on Shabbat, but not outside the Temple.  When Our sages enacted certain protections for Shabbat they did not extend them to the Temple, since the priests are careful and remind one another to avoid sin.

The Gemara advises a man who wants to clean his wound in Shabbat to remove the bandage halfway and tend his injury, then replace that side and do the other half.  The implication is that if it were not Shabbat it is better to remove the entire dressing at once.

This is the concept of “rip off the bandage” meaning to expose the entire problem and deal with it head on.  That is a good approach, but our sages hint that it is not the only way to fix yourself.  Sometimes the situation is overwhelming and a man needs to deal with it incrementally. That measured approach is preferably to hiding the problem under a bandage.

Today we discuss doors on Shabbat, including makeshift doors made of thorns. A Sadducee tried to insult Rabbi Yehoshua son of Hananya, calling him thorny from the verse Micah 7:4.  Yehoshua replies that the end of that verse calls the righteous an upright shelter, so from context it is good to be thorny.  Thorns close up a breach keeping people out of private areas and trouble.

First off, don’t be bothered by people citing chapter and verse at you, go check out what the Bible actually says.  A lot of people throw around verses without understanding the context.

Some people may come across as hard or rude, while from their point of view they are merely protecting their personal boundaries for life.  Sometimes it is necessary to be thorny.

The Talmud examines walking on grass on Shabbat, and brings the verse And he who hastens with his feet sins” (Proverbs 19:2).

The Gemara digresses to the topic of marital intimacy.  The same verse about walking on the grass forbids marital rape, since legs is a euphemism for body parts used in intercourse.  Our sages go on to explain that when the woman is not interested in getting together, children from that union may have a deficiency.  When the sexual act lacks enthusiasm, the results are also not what they could be.  This applies not only to the children, but to the relationship.  Sex is a major tool to bring man and woman together, when one partner is not into it it doesn’t work.

Even if she is compliant and goes along, if she does not buy into the act, she is not all there.  Our sages out the onus in the man to get her in the mood.  However, they note that a woman who desires her husband creates exceptionally wise and righteous children.  The example is our matriach Leah, in Genesis 30:16 she goes out to tell Jacob that she bought her sister’s turn and he should come to her tent.  Obviously Leah was doing this in a loving and seductive manner, not like a harlot heaven forbid.  She was motivated not by physical pleasure but by desire for her husband and to be part of the mission of bringing the 12 tribes of Israel.

The Gemara does explain that it is inappropriate for a woman to explicitly ask for sex, based on Genesis 3:16.  Women should be modest and not verbally aggressive about desire.  Instead she should communicate through her actions and agreeableness, such as dressing nicely and being easy to please.

In modern times it is said that women are taught to be direct, like men.  However, women also use nonverbal communication.  A man should look for unspoken indications of her interest level.

Our sages note that a man can try to get male children by having intercourse then repeating while his wife is still aroused from the first session.  Modern science has confirmed that male sperm die off before female sperm.  A man who wants sons is advised to keep putting in fresh seed.  See also Niddah 31b

Today’s learning also mentions Lilith, see that essay for details.

The Talmud discusses the ruling:  A person may not stand in a private domain and urinate or spit into the public domain.  The Gemara examines which locations of the male organ and bladder are problematic, and the status of mere spit versus phlegm.  Reish Lakish said: One who expelled phlegm in front of his master has acted in a disrespectful manner and is liable for the punishment of death at the hand of Heaven, as it is stated: “All they who hate Me love death” (Proverbs 8:36). Do not read it as: “They who hate [mesanai] Me”; rather, read it as: “Those who make themselves hateful [masniai] to Me,” i.e., those who make themselves hateful to others by such a discharge.

Spitting in front of other people was considered disgusting and offensive, and expelling mucous even more so.  Today modern society is so advanced and enlightened that spitting in public is now common.  Even a few decades ago it was considered disgusting and showed that the spitter was a low life, as our sages taught millennia ago.  It is interesting that today’s society is less offended by literally disgusting behaviors, but instead people seem much more easily offended by opinions or ideas that disagree with their own assumptions about life.  People will always find something to have a disgust reflex over.

I will posit that it is preferable to be offended by disgusting behaviors like spitting than by ideas you don’t subscribe to.  You can’t objectively examine ideas and plans that you simply assign to the area of automatic disgust.  Be conscious that mainstream culture wants you to be disgusted and repelled by certain valid ideas so you don’t start to take them seriously.  This is a tactic to manipulate you.  Step back and ask why they want you to reject this idea without even giving it a chance.

We transition from the subject of moving tefillin on Shabbat to a case where someone was reading from a scroll and lost his grip on one of the handles which rolled into the public thoroughfare.  Normally it is forbidden to transfer items from the public street to the porch, roof, or yard where he was reading.  However, since he is still holding the other end of the scroll, we allow him to roll it back to himself to prevent disrespect to the sacred writings.  This isn’t a full blown transfer of an item from public area to private, so our sages allowed it in this case.

When something is important to you, you don’t always apply the general rules to it.  If something is key to your mission, like sacred scrolls are to Jews, give it priority.

Apropos of yesterday’s learning regarding real Tefillin versus mere amulets, the Gemara asks if people would make the effort to make an amulet just like Tefillin, or to tie knots like Tefillin. The Gemara also discussing tying real knots compared to a quick bow or loop, since knots meant to be permanent cannot be tied on Shabbat, while a bow can, since by definition a bow is made to be untied.

The wisdom here is to be aware that sometimes people think something is very important and will go out of there way to accomplish it. However, most people, most of the time, try to get by with less effort. Often we end up doing it enough to get by, but it doesn’t last. Many people have that issue with diet and exercise. When you contemplate your goals in life think about what areas you are willing to put extra effort into to make them permanent.