The Talmud discusses how, ideally, we select matching goats for the Yom Kippur rituals.  The wording of the Mishnah is curious: “they will both be identical in appearance, and in height, and in value”.

If two goats are equal in looks and stature, would we not expect them to be equal in value as well?

We can learn from here that even identical goats can have different value due to non-physical attributes.  Perhaps one is better behaved, or one bites people.  Rabbi Elyashiv explained that this can meat one goat has better teeth and can eat anything, so the owner does not need to prepare soft foods.

This concept applies even better to people.  You may have a similar look and build to another man, and still be completely different.  It is true that your looks do matter, and you should work on your appearance and presentation.  But real value comes from within, your own wisdom and attitude.  We do see men who are not good looking or especially wealthy attract beautiful women, and this is due to how they relate to other people and most of all to themselves.

Today we examine scenarios where the blood spilled in between applications.  If it spilled during a necessary stage, the High Priest must start that stage over with a new animal.  Rabbi Elazar and Rabbi Yehuda state that the priest picks up where he left off, even in the middle of a stage.  The source for this is Exodus 30:10, which states one sin offering atones.  The sages learn the blood services must be all from one animal, not two, while the minority opinion says this means one act atones, so we do not repeat each act.

When you make a mistake, and we all do, realize what went wrong and when appropriate apologize.  However, do not continue to express regret and humble yourself after this.  Do not keep apologizing over and over.  What is done is done.  Some people will bring up events that already happened and demand more apologies from you.  If you already addressed the situation, you should feel no need to repeat your apology.  If no apology was needed, you do not need to offer one now.

The fact that this person is implying or demanding that you need to feel ashamed and apologize actually reflects on the other person.  They need to feel better, or to control you by making your actions and words subservient to their feelings.  You cannot guarantee another person’s feelings, that is their job, and is impossible for you in the long run.

Today the Talmud explains that the specific services the High Priest performs on Yom Kippur must be in order.  If something was done off script it does not count and the services must be repeated in sequence. The Gemara debates if this rule applies only to those tasks done in the special white garments or only inside the temple building.

It is important to have an order of operations for your goals, and to plan what you must pursue first.  If you need to work out twice a week and practice Martial arts twice a week don’t put something else first.

However, for many aspects of life you also must be willing to he flexible when needed, and do not want to follow a set script.  Instead know your goals but be willing to jump at an opportunity to do more.

Be aware when someone is following a script. Some women will make rules for some men, eg no kiss on first date and getting serious until the third date.  They have set an order of operations for you, which is a sign this person feels a need to control you and set the frame of your interaction.

The Talmud examines how the High Priest would place the blood on the inner altar, and brings a disagreement between Rabbi Yishmael and Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai regarding where to pour the leftover blood.  The Gemara then brings a teaching of the academy of Rabbi Yishmael (his students) that agreed to Rabbi Shimon, and comments that “the men pulled the man”.  Rashi explains that the students of Rabbi Shimon, assumedly more in number, convinced the students Rabbi Yishmael.

Be especially careful when many people entertain certain ideas or concepts.  Because they have strength in numbers, you may be pulled into their influence even if their ideas do not get you good results.

Tosafot points out other times a similar expression was used, and notes that the students of Rabbi Yishmael went to learn with Rabbi Shimon after their first teacher passed.  In his presence they now agreed to his opinion, even though he was just one man: ואורחא דמילתא הוא כל הנמשך אחר חבירו לביתו בין שהם רבים בין שהוא יחיד יש לו לומר כדברי מי שהוא נמשך אצלו  “It is normal that anyone drawn after his fellow to his place, whether or not the other is greater in number or one man, those who were drawn in will say like the one they were drawn to”.

A man needs to be aware of which philosophies and approaches to life he is pulled towards.  Choose your mentors and teachers carefully as they have profound influence over you, don’t just get sucked in by a charismatic guru.  Even if you learned in one school of thought all your life, going to learn with another teacher in his place can draw you to entirely new concepts.

The Talmud also mentions how the High Priest needed to hold his arms during the blood applications on the inner altar to prevent blood from getting on his sleeves.  Yes, on the holy Day of Atonement we are concerned for the mundane need to keep the priestly garments clean.  A man needs to keep himself and his clothing in proper shape, as your appearance is part of your self esteem.

We continue examining the blood applications on Yom Kipper, and the Talmud inquires if catching the sacrificial blood inside a bowl within a bowl would be acceptable, since they are both bowls perhaps they do not create a barrier.  We compare a priest who performed a Temple service while standing on top of a vessel, or on the foot of another priest.  This is not valid, since the priest must stand directly on the floor of the Temple.

The Gemara states that this is no proof to the case of the bowls, since a man cannot nullify his foot for another man to step on.  Rashi comments that the man being stepped on will not leave his foot there long enough for the other to finish.

This hints to a general concept.  If you are doing what you need to do only by stepping on others, the situation will not last.  Even a man who is used to being figuratively stepped on will get sick of it and move.  Accomplish your mission without degrading other people.

If you find yourself as the man being stepped on, take action.  It is common in modern society for men to be too nice, and we endorse the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover on this topic.

The Talmud discusses the blood sprinklings on the curtain in the Temple, and brings an exchange between Rava, a Babylonian, and Rabbi Yirmiyah about the sequence.  Rabbi Yirmiyah comments on Rava’s suggestion that because Babylonians live in a dark land, they say murky, unclear teachings.

Rav Pappa, also Babylonian, was going to make another suggestion using the same assumption Rava had, and Rava stops him, saying: Until now they called us Babylonians merely foolish, and now they will call us the foolish of the foolish, as they will say that we teach them and yet they do not learn.

We all make mistakes.  However, intelligent and rational men learn from mistakes (especially the mistakes of others).  A failure to learn or accept corrections shows true stupidity.

The Talmud examines if Rabbi Yehuda agrees to the concept of retroactive clarification, and brings a juicy scenario of a man buying untithed wine just before Shabbat. He does not have time or opportunity to separate the tithes into other containers before the Sabbath.  Rabbi Meir allows him to verbally designate the various tithes, then drink the wine, leaving over the amount for the tithes. After the Sabbath he can actually separate the leftover wine for the tithes.

Rabbi Yehuda and other sages were concerned that maybe the barrel will break before the man can physically separate the tithes, and retroactively he will have consumed untithed wine.

Rabbi Meir, who allowed it, stated that we will worry about it if that happens.  He isn’t concerned for that remote possibility and does not take it into account.

Often if life if a man will consider all of the dangers in a course of action he may become frozen with analysis and anxiety.  Of course you do need to think about obvious issues that can arise.  But you can go ahead in pursuit of your mission without worrying about everything that could go wrong.

Today we examine how the High Priest performed the throwing of blood in the Holy of Holies.  Our sages debate how many stands were in the Temple to hold the cups of blood.  If there are two, he may confuse the bull blood with the goat blood.

The Gemara asks why can’t we simply label the stands, and brings an opinion from Rabbi Yehuda that the Temple did not have boxes for both donated birds and obligated birds, since they could be mixed up.  He holds there was only one box for donated birds.  People could simply put money into the box to donate a bird offering, but someone who must bring birds had to seek out a Priest and give them the money personally.

Tosafot comments that donated birds are more common and sometimes were not offered right away.  There is another great reason to have the box available for donations.  We want to make it easy for people to help out, or they won’t bother.

When someone can assist you, make it simple for them to pitch in.  Be aware of what you need so if someone offers you can take them up on it immediately.

Today we mention that in the priests used to show the Cherubim in the Temple to the Jews who came for the festivals.  Our sages note that during the 40 years in the desert no one except the priests could see the Cherubim, on pain of Divine death.  the Gemara explains that this time was akin to the period when a couple is engaged but the woman still lives in her own father’s home.  Once they are fully married and she is in her husband’s home, she is less modest in front of him.  Therefore, once the Jews were in Israel, they could perhaps see the special Cherubim.

This is a lesson for modern men, when you invite someone else to share your space, they will see all your secrets, and flaws.  You need to be the one to decide when and if it is appropriate to bring someone else in.

The Gemara goes on to compare the destruction of the first Temple and exile to Babel to a divorce, and the return to Jerusalem and building of the second Temple as a reconciliation.  Our sages note that the Cherubim were embracing during the time of the destruction, showing that Divine favor towards the Jews was still there, despite the problems that required exile.

We have examined how parts of the Bible that discuss the Jewish people’s sins and subsequent rejection by God are followed by verses showing that we were never truly abandoned or replaced with another nation.

Naturally, it is a powerful metaphor to compare our interaction with God to the marriage between man and woman.  The entire Song of Songs, written by Solomon, is actually about God and Israel, not a real man and woman.

This comparison was made so we, who are familiar with human relationships, can understand our value and obligations.  However, this concept has limits.

After a falling out, God can restore the relationship with his people to the original state.  Because God has no mental or emotional limitations, God can return to the original state of boundless love and total connection.  He can “forgive and forget”, without actually forgetting.

Compare this to a human being, who might forgive, but will never forget.  You can reconcile, but what happened happened.  It is always a difficult decision, but there are times and circumstances in human relationships where it is better to start over with someone else than to try to repair and restore what was but can never be again.

The Talmud learns from Leviticus 16:13 that when the High Priest brought incense into the Holy of Holies, it needed to include an herb to produce a cloud smoke.  In fact, he was punished with death if his incense lacked even one ingredient, or for entering without the incense.

When you go somewhere special, prepare yourself and plan what you need.  If you are going in, bring your A game., or don’t go.

The Gemara teaches that when he leaves the Holy of Holies, the High Priest must walk backwards.  Our sages note that the same law applies to taking leave of your primary teacher, and brings stories of great sages showing profound respect to one another.  The same concept applies after prayers, when we step backwards as if to leave the presence of God.

Be conscious of how you leave a situation or a person.  If you hold eye contact with someone on your way out, that signifies that they are important and you are reluctant to leave, or want to see them again.  You can gain information about where you stand with other people by observing how they act as you depart.  If they pay attention to you as you leave, stand up, or move towards you, these are all signs you are valuable in their estimatation.