The Talmud details how the special garments for the Priests were made, as well as the curtains for the Tabernacle and the poles for the Ark of the Covenant and boards of the Tabernacle.  The Gemara cites a teaching that “acacia wood, standing” in Exodus 26:15 can mean that the boards were erected in the same direction that they grew as a tree.

This hints to us that your personal growth in life must be upward, starting from your roots and building higher.  Your mission and goals in life should be a natural fit for your personality and unique situation.  A man is naturally driven to seek greatness and to build on what he has.  But like a tree needs water and good soil and light, a man needs a proper environment and nourishment to grow. 

The Talmud notes that the Ark of the Covenant had a “Crown”, meaning an ornamental crowning around the edge.

Rabbi Yoḥanan said: There were three crowns on the vessels in the Temple: of the altar, and of the Ark, and of the table. The crown of the altar, Aaron was deserving and took it. The crown of the table, David was deserving and took it for himself. The crown of the Ark, it is still ready to be acquired, for anyone who wishes to take it may come and take it and be crowned with the crown of Torah.  Perhaps you will say it is inferior to the other crowns; the verse states about the wisdom of Torah: “Through me kings will reign” (Proverbs 8:15).

The altar used for sacrifices represents the Priesthood, the table with the show breads stands for the monarchy since the king has the responsibility to maintain the economy.  The Ark, containing the 10 commandments, and a Torah scroll, is wisdom and intellectual development.  This crown is available to anyone.

A modern man trying to find his place and mission in the world should keep in mind that he cannot always find greatness as a political or economic leader, or through making sacrifices for others.  There are already plenty of men vying for these roles in society.  However, everyone can develop his mental acumen and his own store of wisdom, by reflecting on his own life and figuring out what works for him.

Every man can develop his intellect, personality, and knowledge.  This crown is free for the taking.

The Talmud discusses what the High Priest would do after Yom Kippur ended.  We mention that the man whohad  sent the scapegoat off the cliff, who had to stay in the wilderness until Yom Kippur ended, would seek out the High Priest:

if he finds the High Priest in the public market, he says to him: My Master, High Priest, we performed your mission, But if he finds him in his own house, he says to him: The One Who grants life to the living (God), we performed His mission.

Rashi explains that the language used in public is to give the High Priest proper respect in front of others.

If someone always respects you in public, then you can tolerate a degree of bluntness and criticism from this person in private.  You remember how they treat you in front of others, and know that in truth this person does value you.  Then you can take their criticism seriously and grow from it.

If someone is disrespectful towards you in public, they are simply not on your side.  They may claim to be, but their actions betray their true feelings towards you.  Never tolerate such behavior, it will grow like cancer and kill you.

The Gemara brings amazing advice about marriage:

Rabbi Berekhya said: If a person sees that Torah is ceasing from his children, (they are not becoming scholars), he should marry the daughter of a Torah scholar; as it is stated: “Though its root will grow old in the earth, and its trunk will die in the ground, from the scent of water it will blossom and put forth branches like a plant” (Job 14:8–9). 

Note that this man was already married and had children, and perhaps still has his first wife, as Jewish law allows polygyny.  However, the home environment is one that does not put enough value on learning, so the children do not take it seriously. It could be that the first wife does not understand the importance of growing in wisdom and fails to properly respect sages and men trying to become better.

Marrying a woman from a family of scholars brings someone in who can teach the children the appropriate attitudes towards growing in wisdom.  She grew up with people who showed respect scholarship, so she does the same.  She understands that she needs to sacrifice some of her own material wants so that her family can grow and develop their intellectual and spiritual power.

Women have a profound influence over children while they raise them, it is difficult to overestimate the good (or damage) a wife or mother figure can produce on young people.  A man needs to be keenly aware of who he brings into his household and what attitudes they bring in.  Marrying the wrong woman, or even the “right” woman but under wrong circumstances, can destroy your life and the success of your offspring.

This advice links back to our first item about public disrespect.  You also need to be respected in private for important items in your life.  If your woman not going to honor and support your life mission, you need a different woman.

We continue explaining how the High Priest would read the sections of the Bible related to Yom Kippur from a Torah scroll in the Temple courtyard.  After reading two adjacent sections, he recites another short section by heart, first announcing “More than what I have read before you is written here”.  This was done so that the people would not have to wait while they rolled the scroll to the last section, as we avoid forcing people to wait.

The Gemara asks why we don’t bring out a second scroll already rolled to the correct place, and answers that someone may think that this was done because the section was missing from the first scroll.  That would lead him to think the Priest read from a Torah scroll that was incomplete, a serious problem.  If he had simply known that Jewish policy is not to keep people waiting around, he would realize why the Priest recites the last section by heart.

Human nature is to draw conclusions without all the facts, or with the assumption that he already knows all the facts.

A man should get used to doing his best without all the information. Naturally when entering a new situation or relationship, you won’t know everything.  Avoid the temptations to wait while you gather more information first. Instead feel the discomfort and uncertainty and dive in anyway.

Today the Talmud explains some amazing historical events.  The meeting of Alexander the Great and the Jewish high priest we will leave for another time.

After the Jews returned to Jerusalem from the Babylonian exile, the holy men were concerned that the desire for idolatry would again tempt them and they would again be expelled from Israel, so they prayed to remove this temptation (Nehemiah 9:4).

The Gemara explains the prayer: “the evil inclination for idol worship, that destroyed the Temple, and burned its Sanctuary, and murdered all the righteous ones, and caused the Jewish people to be exiled from their land. And it still dances among us!  Didn’t You give it to us solely for the purpose of our receiving reward for overcoming it?  We do not want it, and we do not want its reward.”

This is a key concept in life.  Weigh the risk versus the reward.  A particular experience may seem very appealing, but when you consider it along with the problems that will result, it loses the appeal.

Our sages teach that God indeed gave over the temptation for idolatry (embodied as a fiery lion), and the prophets and holy men in that generation were able to subdue it and trap it in an enclosure (Zechariah 5:8), but not before it shed a hair, which allows some degree of temptation to continue.

We noted in our discussion of Lilith and other demons that when God allowed a more direct revelation of Divine power, He also allowed more “dark” or evil power to exist in the world.  Prior to the radical spiritual event we learn about today, the power of both the light and dark sides was more revealed in this world.

Since the holy men had contained the urge towards idolatry, they next tried to work on the urge for sexual immorality as well (this was also a contributing factor to the exile and destruction of the first Temple).  They prayed and this urge was delivered into their power.  However, they realized that the world would not continue if it was contained or killed, as without the urge to engage in sexual relations, nothing could reproduce.

As a test, they imprisoned it for three days, and as a result there were no more eggs in Israel.  Even the chickens had lost their instinct to reproduce.  Realizing they could not contain or vanquish this force, they decided to blind it, ironically using eye shadow.  Blinding the urge blunted the ability to urge men to commit incest.  Normal people do not desire their close relatives any longer.

In the Jewish worldview, sexual desire is a natural and necessary function of humanity.  It can be used for the good or evil, creation or destruction.  Without a healthy outlet for normal human desire, people will choose unhealthy outlets.  A Jewish holy man does not abstain from sex, but uses it appropriately as a God-given tool, as we have discussed.  Jewish law actually stipulates a minimum level of intimacy that is requires in a healthy marriage, see Mishpatim.

The Gemara today also brings a related historical process about how for a time our sages omitted the words “The Strong” and “The Awed” from a list of praises of God in prayers, because in those times the Jews were subjugated mercilessly among hostile nations.

Later sages reconsidered, and included all the original terms again, arguing that the fact that God restrained Himself when other nations abused His children was in fact the greatest sign of His strength.  Likewise, the fact that the Jews continue to exist despite so many people hating or subjugating them was a sign that Divine Awe was still active in the world.

Self control is the highest strength, and is only truly tested when things are not going your way.  You cannot control how other people act, only how you respond.

When your will is done without active intervention on your part, this shows other people respect you.  When you have to actively request everything you need, this reflects that other people are less in awe of you.

Today we wrap up the ritual of the scapegoat.  We learned that the goat is taken 10 mil (about six miles) into the wilderness outside Jerusalem, and the man who throws the goat off the cliff cannot return until Yom Kippur is over.  The goat has to reach the wilderness before the High Priest can proceed to the next step.

The Mishnah asks how they knew the goat was gone into the wilderness, and suggests that a chain of men who were within eyesight of one another would wave flags as a signal.  Another opinion from Rabbi Yehuda is that simply waiting the amount of time it would take for the man to lead the goat to the edge of the wilderness was sufficient.  Rabbi Yishmael states that part of a crimson ribbon tied to the horns of the goat would turn white when the goat was gone (this miracle only happened when the generation was worthy).

This teaching reminds men that you will not always have a clear signal in life or relationships.  Sometimes men may get a direct message, but other times you are left waiting, or waiting for a miracle.  Don’t assume you will get clear and exact statements of intent.  People may lead you along for a while, you need to decide how long you will wait, and how you will proceed when the time is up.  Men should be aware that the lack of communication is itself a message, “the medium is the message”.

Today we also begin a new chapter describing the next phase in the Yom Kippur rituals, with the High Priest reading from a Torah Scroll.  The Mishnah notes:

One who sees the High Priest reading the Torah does not see the bull and goat that are burned; and one who sees the bull and goat that are burned does not see the High Priest reading.  And this is not due to a law that one is not permitted to see both, but because there was a distance between them, and the performance of both is simultaneous.

When you make a decision to do something, you are by definition giving up something else.  Be aware of what your options are and what you lose when making your choice.

The Gemara comments that if someone started watching one of these events, he could technically still leave and travel to the other site.  You can change now. Yes, you already have missed some of the other option, but you are not locked in to your first choice and stuck with it forever.

This a vital message for men in difficult situations, who feel stuck in a reality that they chose years ago under very different circumstances.  Don’t fall into a sunk cost fallacy and keep throwing your time and energy into what is no longer working for you.

Today the Talmud mentions that the law of the scapegoat is in the category of “hukim” meaning Divine commandments that do not seem reasonably understandable to humans.  The “hukim” also include not eating pork.  Because these commands are not logical, the other nations of the world mock the Jews and the Satan tempts them to stray.  The only reason Jews follow these laws is their source: “I am the Lord” (Leviticus 18:4).

It is interesting that Satan uses rational logic to tempt men into sin, arguing that God is illogical.  When a man thinks he knows something, he can follow his knowledge even against his own best interests.  However, most men are unaware that their personal knowledge of how the world works is mostly the result of manipulation and social pressure.  Be careful of going by what you presume to know.

For example, a man may marry a single mother because he thinks he knows that “it is the right thing to do”, and he wants to be right in the eyes of others.  Here, his knowledge of right and wrong is a mere social construct that undermines his biologically driven instincts.

The Gemara contrasts the irrational “hukim” to the “mishpatim”, commands that seem logical and would be adopted as law even if not written in the Bible.  These include theft, murder, idolatry, and forbidden sexual relationships.  Most of the last category are types of incest, as men and women using their rational capacity properly would avoid such acts.

However, the basis for these commands is logical.  The implication is that if people are acting under the sway of emotion instead of intellect, they can do anything and even come to commit incest.

Be aware of when people are acting out of reason versus emotion.  Both paths can be useful or harmful.

Today the Talmud begins a discussion about sending out the scapegoat. 

While developing the law, the students asked Rabbi Eliezer:

If the goat became ill, what is the rule about carrying it on his shoulder? 
He said to them: That goat could carry me and you.  
They asked him: If the man sending the goat became ill, what is the law about sending it with someone else?
He said to them: I and you shall be in peace (healthy).
The students continued to ask Rabbi Eliezer: If he pushed the goat and it did not die upon its fall, what is the law regarding if he should go down and kill it? 
He said to them: “So may all your enemies perish, Lord” (Judges 5:31).

Rabbi Eliezer did not answer the questions directly because he had a well known personal policy to never say anything he had not personally heard from his own teachers (see Pirke Avot 2:8).  He actually knew what Jewish law says to do in these situations (according to Rashi) but he would not give these answers since he did not get that information from the mouth of his teacher.  The students should have realized Rabbi Eliezer’s policy and asked someone else.

However, Rabbi Eliezer does not simply say he didn’t hear the law from his teacher or theorize possibilities.  He gives answers that sound sarcastic or exaggerated, responses that imply that the questions never got off the ground.  This is one strategy when verbally tested: you can respond in a way that shows you think the question or attack was meaningless.

Sometimes the best answer is not to answer directly.  While we usually try to communicate clearly and directly, this tactic has a place in your repertoire.  Some people will question you in order to shame you or make themselves feel superior.  If you show them that you don’t consider their attack to be valid, they lose that power.

The Talmud cites an exchange where a wise woman asked Rabbi Eliezer about the various punishments after the golden calf calamity. He said to her: There is no wisdom in a woman except weaving with a spindle, and so it states: “And any woman who was wise-hearted spun with her hands” (Exodus 35:25).

The intention here is that she should stick to what she is good at, and ask practical questions. Rabbi Eliezer’s opinion was that women should only learn the areas of Torah that actually apply to them (which is still an immense volume of complex material), not ask theoretical questions from the Bible that have no current application.

According to the Ben Ish Hai, Rabbi Eliezer knew this woman was wise and was hinting that just as each thread she weaves has a different length and place in the fabric, so too each person who sinned was punished as an individual according to the need. His answer addressed her question but also informed her to keep her inquiries practical and useful.

Sometimes we get carried away by theoretical scenarios that are not useful to our real mission. A man can imagine all sorts of situations and be frozen into inaction or anxiety, or simply waste time. When you already know the basic information it can be better to act without considering all of the possibilities.

The Talmud is debating what happens when one of the pair of Yom Kippur goats dies and a new pair is brought as a replacement.  Our sages question a ruling that the extra animal cannot be used for anything, since it might be used and this is forbidden.

The Gemara asks how it could be reused, as the animal is a sin offering which must be in the first year of life.  The answer is that since Jews use a lunar calendar with 354 days, the next Yom Kippur may be less than 365 days later.  In the context of selling houses in a walled city, Rebbi allows a seller to buy back his house within a solar year.

You would have assumed that a year is always 365 days, this is how the term is used in modern times.  Ancient Jews would have understood a year as 12 lunar months, 354 days in all.  This underscores the importance of defining your terms.

This is not just for business ventures.  A man needs to be conscious of how other people use words to try to brand you and control you.  For example, someone may be demanding and pushy in asking for what she wants, and refer to this attitude as “being assertive”.  When you ask for what you want from this same person, she may label you as “abusive” or “entitled” or worse.

Words do have power, pay attention to how people around you define their terms.

The Talmud is debating what we do if one of the Yom Kippur goats dies after the lottery to select which of the pair of goats was for the offering inside the Temple and which was the scapegoat. We must bring a new pair and hold a new lottery.  But what about the survivor from the original pair?

Rabbi Yohanon says that the remaining goat is disqualified for use, based on Lev 22:25.  Rav argues that we could still use it for the ritual after pairing it with a new animal, as living beings are not pushed aside.

The disagreement is by animals, but for people we all agree that you are never permanently disqualified.  You can always pick yourself up and give it another shot.

The language our sages use is particular: “living beings are not pushed aside”.  This implies that as long as you have the spark of life burning inside, you are not a lost cause.  If a man thinks he is dead inside, he might as well be.

You might not ever get back into the original situation or relationship, don’t expect that.  You may need a new pairing, new friends, or a whole different situation in a new place to really shine and succeed again.  Trying to recreate a failed relationship is usually a waste of your time and talents.

Today the Talmud debates if certain laws of regular offerings also apply to the scapegoat, which is thrown off a cliff instead of ritually slaughtered in the Temple.  Regarding the law of slaughtering animals before bringing them into the Temple, the Gemara cites the verses in Lev 17:3-4, which apply this law to “an offering to God”.  The word offering could include anything, not just an animal to be sacrificed, and is used in this context in Numbers 31:50.

That verse describes an offering to the Tabernacle brought by the Jewish soldiers after the war with Midian. This was not animals, but golden booty captured in battle.

The golden treasures listed are jewelry and ornaments used by women, including the famous golden lingerie.  These items were worn by Midianite women to seduce Jewish men, which led to the war  Verse 51 calls these “ornaments of action”, since there were not mere decorations, but accomplished the goal of entrapping men into idolatry.

Now they were brought as an offering to God.  This reminds us that in Jewish wisdom, our physical desires for intimacy, which some faiths consider animalistic, can be used for holy purposes.

There is also a practical lesson.  Recall that the Jewish soldiers brought the women back to the camp, but were told by Moses that the non virgin women had to be executed for their role in the Baal Peor incident, which led to the war with Midian.  It appears that they had these women remove their golden lingerie before bringing them back, so they would not seduce more Jews.

A modern man should remember that the women you meet may be working very hard to look good for you (or for someone).  When needed, women can put tremendous effort into their appearance and behaviors to become attractive to men.  The women of ancient Midian did so to get Jews to worship idols in exchange for sex.

If a woman is trying especially hard to catch your eye, you should ask yourself what her motivation is.  Maybe you are that awesome, or maybe she is seeking something from you besides just validation, such as resources, attention, and security.

You need to decide of she is worth your time and talents, or she will use her powers to take that decision from you.

Careful thinking and observation over a long time period can strip her of the ornaments, physical and otherwise, that she uses to obscure her true intentions for you.