The Talmud explains methods of making a sukkah that is too tall acceptable for use on the holiday.  If you have a sukkah that is just a little above the limit, you could add straw or dirt to the floor to reduce the gap between floor and ceiling.

However, if you might need the straw or dirt for another use, this does not work.  Since you may come to remove the material from the sukkah floor, it is not considered fixed there and the sukkah is still legally too tall.  You may simply change you mind.  The solution is to speak out your plan to leave the items on the floor for the duration of the holiday.  Then the straw or dirt is legally significant and reduces the effective height of the sukkah.

Your word is binding, a real man is a man of his word.  When you speak out your plan, you are more likely to hold yourself accountable.  If you can, write it down and review it when you feel your motivation is lacking.

The Talmud is debating if the sukkah has a maximum height.  Rabbi Yehuda brings a proof to his opinion that it does not from the fact that Queen Helene made a taller sukkah in Lod, and the sages who visited her did not say anything about it.

The Gemara objects to this proof since women are not required to dwell in the sukkah, since that is a commandment that is time dependent.  However, it was known that Queen Helene had her seven sons with her in the royal sukkah.  Even if they were all legally minors (under age 13), at least some of them would be old enough to be required to dwell in a proper sukkah during the holiday on an educational level.

The other rabbis suggest that Queen Helene’s sukkah is still no proof to Rabbi Yehuda, since perhaps it was made with multiple sections (for privacy), and her section was taller than the limit but the section with her sons was within the limit.  Rabbi Yehuda objects that she would certainly have her sons with her in the same room.

First of all, it is crucial to note that Rabbi Yehuda’s proof is from the sages of Queen Helene’s time not objecting to her tall sukkah.  If you are an important person, then there is an expectation that you speak out when something is wrong.  Your silence is considered acquiescence.  If a man does not react when his boundaries are pushed, he loses his boundaries.

Second, Rabbi Yehuda argues that a mother, even if she is the queen, would certainly have her children in the same room.  The queen would have an entourage of officers and attendants with her, and would be involved in important business.  Nevertheless, Rabbi Yehuda understands that female nature is to keep her children close to her even when she is distracted by royal duties.

This is a important insight.  Even if a woman has an important career, deep down her priority is still her family.  In prior generations this was well known, and even the queen was assumed to be personally involved with her kids.  Today the biological reality of women is obscured by a feminist narrative that to be “successful” a woman should put her education and career first.  Due to this pervasive message, many women delay marriage and lose their chance to create a family, some rush into a relationship when they finally understand that time is running out.

A man should realize that women have an innate imperative to create a family.  The power of this urge cannot be understated.  If a man does not understand this, he may get into a situation he did not foresee.

Today we begin Sukkah, the section of the Talmud about Sukkot.  The main feature of this holiday is dwelling in a temporary booth structure, the famous Sukkah.  This reminds us how our ancestors spent the years in the wilderness between Egypt and Israel living outdoors in such structures, and also surrounded by protective clouds of Divine glory.

The first Mishnah discusses if there is a maximum height for the roof of the Sukkah (which is not an actual roof, but plant material arranged to provide shade).  The Gemara explains the arguments for and against a maximum height.  Rava argues that the Sukkah must be merely a temporary dwelling “dirat arai”, and a taller structure requires stronger more permanent construction.

The Sfas Emes (Gerre Rebbe, 1871-1905) points out that the Jews used these Sukkot for almost forty years.  How can a structure used for 40 years be considered temporary?  He answers that they were intended to be temporary, as our ancestors were supposed to enter into the Holy Land immediately after receiving the Torah, and would have if not for the episode of the spies.

Sometimes we assume a situation will be only temporary, but life happens and we end up there for years.  Remember your original plans and goals, and think carefully if this “temporary” situation is working for you.  Does it assist you in your life mission?

For young men it is crucial not to allow a relationship to become “long term” without weighing your options and determining how exactly this person is going to enhance or degrade your ability to accomplish your goals.  Ask yourself what you getting out of the situation and is it what you need to grow and thrive.

On the final page of Yoma, the Talmud discusses when it may be allowed or required to immerse in a purification pool on Yom Kippur (when bathing is forbidden).  Our sages bring an opinion from Rabbi Yossi that immersion at the proper time is required, even when this overrides other concerns.  Rabbi Yossi makes this point in an interesting case:

If God’s name is written in ink on one’s flesh, he may not wash or smear it with oil lest he erase, and he may not stand in a filthy place.  If his time came for an immersion that is required, he must wrap a reed around it before he descends and immerses. Rabbi Yossi says: He descends and immerses in his usual manner and need not worry about erasing the name, provided he does not rub the place where the name is written.

God allows us to erase His holy Name to do His will (not just here, but also for the Sotah, the wife accused of adultery).  This concept is valuable for every man.  Be willing to swallow your pride and roll up your sleeves to get your mission done.  Yes, you must try to guard your reputation, but even if your chosen purpose in life requires embarrassing yourself or reducing the honor you think is due to you, you must be willing to carry on and get the job done.

Yoma concludes with a really interesting piece of Gemara, about if a seminal emission on Yom Kippur is a good or bad omen.  This debate is only when the man did not do anything to bring about this emission.  Our sages conclude that it is a troubling sign, and he should be careful that he lives out the year.  However, if he does, this was in retrospect a good omen, since semen is a sign of male vitality.  Rashi brings the verse “That he might see his seed and prolong his days” (Isaiah 53:10).  Seed can mean children and grandchildren, but also semen.

This is an interesting conclusion to Yoma, which began with the law of separating the High Priest for seven days so he does not have any emission that would render him impure and unable to perform the special offerings of the day.  The big picture here is that masculine energy can be destructive or constructive, and it is up to us men to harness our powers and use them to grow and develop into capable, accomplished men.

Mazal tov!

On the penultimate page of Yoma, our sages detail the greatness of repentance and issus that prevent repentance.

One of these is developing a pattern of behavior.  Our sages teach that when a man does something wrong, then repeats that act a second time, it becomes permitted in his eyes.  Men get used to doing what they are used to doing.

This concept can be used to get yourself into positive patterns as well.  As you repeat, it becomes easier.

The Talmud is discussing repentance, as Yom Kippur famously atones for sin: “For on this day shall atonement be made for you, to purify you from all your sins” (Leviticus 16:30). 

Our sages outline how some problems are more difficult to achieve repentance for.  The worst is a “desecration of His Name” (Hillul Hashem).  The Gemara does not specify an act that constitutes such a major desecration but does include causing others to sin.

Rav, a sage who lived about 1800 years ago, gives the example of taking meat from the butcher without paying immediately, since others would think he is trying to get out of paying.  If a respectable Rabbi was suspected of avoiding his bills, other people would certainly do the same or worse.

Yitzḥak from the school of Rabbi Yannai said: Any case when one’s friends are embarrassed on account of his reputation, this is a desecration of God’s name. 

The wisdom here is that we can tell a lot about people from their friends.  If their friends would be outraged by certain behaviors, then the person in question is very likely to avoid them, or at least hide them.

We used Jacob’s family to discuss how people, especially women, are deeply influenced by family and friends.  You can learn a lot about a person from the people around them.

Another level is that when you pick your friends, you want to find men who are able to hold you accountable and provide useful feedback for you.  If your “friends” put up with your bad or lazy behavior, these are not useful friends but enablers.

A man who has quality people in his life will think twice before acting in a way that will make them ashamed to be his friends.

 

The Talmud brings a contrast between Moses and David, in that Moses asked God to write his sin in the Bible (Numbers 20:12) while David asked God to conceal his (Psalms 32:1).  The Gemara explains that Moses did not want people to assume that he also died because of the episode of the spies, which caused that entire generation to perish in the wilderness before the nation could enter the Holy Land.

When you make mistakes, and we all do, there is a tension.  On one hand, you don’t want others to know about your failures, and you don’t want to waste your energy feeling bad for yourself.  But you do need to recognize your problems and work to improve yourself.  

Moses and David together provide a profound method for acknowledging your issues and moving on.  David himself did not forget his failures, see Psalms 51:5.  But he did not let allow them to derail his progress and mission.

As we near the end of Yoma, the Talmud discusses vital laws about saving human lives.  The Mishnah cited on Daf 83 rules that when a building fell (which still happens today but was more common 2000 years ago), we violate Sabbath or holiday prohibitions to clear the rubble and rescue the victims.

The Bible commands us “do the commandments to live by them” (Vayikra 18:5) and the last phrase “V’Chai Bahem” is famously understood by our ancient sages to mean that saving human life overrides practically every area of the Law.  Today’s Daf brings this and other sources for this rule. We mentioned the three exceptions.

Today the Gemara asks on the Mishnah’s ruling that if we find the victim alive, we continue to clear out rubble on the Sabbath.  Our sages ask why that statement is not obvious.  They answer that we continue to break the Sabbath even if this activity will only keep this man alive for a short time longer.

Jewish law does not consider this man “as good as dead” and tell us to give up on him.  To the contrary, we make every effort to extend his life even if he is, medically speaking, on the way out.

Every moment of your life is a valuable gift.  Don’t waste time, and if your life situation is making it hard to live in a way consistent with your own chosen values and mission, you have the obligation to change your situation.

We are approaching the end of Yoma.  The Gemara, on the general topic of eating when it is forbidden (such as on Yom Kippur), discusses if it could be permissible to eat a specific part of the liver of a rabid dog, as a cure for being bitten by this dog.  The majority opinion rejects this cure, not because dog is not kosher, as you can eat non-kosher to save your life, but because it doesn’t work.

The Rambam (Maimonides) who was both a scholar and professional doctor, states in the Perush haMishnayot that we do not risk using unproven treatments.

It is interesting that even in ancient times, people understood that an infected animal itself could potentially produce a cure for the infection.  While we do use snake venom to make antidotes, the liver of a rabid dog does not contain a cure to rabies.

The Jerusalem Talmud (Yoma 8:5) reports that the servant of Rabbi Yudin was bitten by a rabid dog, then was given the its liver to eat, but passed away.  Rabies is especially nasty and even with modern medicine basically impossible to cure once the patient is symptomatic.

However, the concept is sound.  Exposing yourself to some stress makes you more tolerant of stress.  If you are anxious in social situations with new people, the only real cure is to get into social situations with new people.

The Talmud is discussing when a person may eat on Yom Kippur because their health is in jeopardy.

Rabbi Yannai teaches: If an ill person says he needs to eat, and a doctor says he does not need to eat, one listens to the ill person.What is the reason? The verse states: “The heart knows the bitterness of its own soul” (Proverbs 14:10)

We would have assumed that in this case we listen to the medical experts. While generally this is a good idea, individuals can know themselves better than any specialist. A wise man figures out what is good for his own body in terms of food, drink, exercise, and sleep. Don’t go by ‘conventional wisdom’ or ‘science’ (really the media telling you what the ‘science’ is, for their own purposes). Figure out what actually works for you.

The deeper wisdom here is that a person may be in a certain circumstance that you understand, but you may still have no idea what his level of internal suffering actually is. Don’t assume to know what is going on inside another man. While it is certainly true that a man who got through a similar situation will be more sensitive, every man is unique, and even same thing happened to you, this man may react differently.

We discussed Samson, who famously killed himself bringing the house down on many Philistines. Men have the God-given capacity for self sacrifice. We need to be aware of this capacity, and never underestimate how another man is suffering. A man may appear calm on the outside, but be in incredible agony.

You can remove worry from your heart by speaking it to others, and get their perspective and advice. When you are suffering, find men you trust and tell them about it. When you are not, make yourself available to your brothers.

Proverbs 14:10 reminds us that a person may tell us their emotions, but this may not be the full picture. Examine their behavior and actions as well. When what a person actually does is different from what they tell you, reevaluate their words in context of actions. A woman may tell you she is interested but ignore you. Go by behavior, not words.

The Talmud brings a teaching that a pregnant woman who feels a powerful craving for a specific food on Yom Kippur may be allowed to taste the food.  This is because unfulfilled cravings are considered dangerous to both her and the fetus.

We see from here the power of cravings, urges, and desires.  Even on Yom Kippur, the holy day of atonement, people may feel an irresistible urge to eat.  Someone may feel they are in mortal danger of they do not act on their desire.

Be aware of your own desires in order to retain intellectual mastery over your physical cravings.  Know that you and others can be in situations where emotional urges can overcome logic.

The Talmud explains that we let the pregnant woman taste because only three commands cannot be waived in the face of death: idolatry, forbidden sexual relations, and murder.  The Gemara gives an amazing source for giving your life rather than engaging in idolatry:

Rabbi Eliezer says: If it is stated: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 6:5), why is it stated in the end of the verse: “And with all your might”? And if it is stated: “With all your might,” why is it stated: “With all your soul”?

To teach that if there is a person whose body is more beloved to him than his property, it states: “With all your soul.” The verse teaches that one must be willing to sacrifice his life to sanctify God’s name. And if there is a person whose property is more beloved to him than his body, it states: “With all your might.”

Most people want to protect their lives over all else, but some men indeed value their wealth more than their safety, and may rush into their burning home to save an expensive painting.  The Talmud (Yoma 85 and Sanhedrin 43) notes that men will risk their life to violently defend their possessions from thieves.

In Jewish wisdom, we teach to ask yourself what you are willing to die for.  This is your ultimate goal or priority.  Then focus on that and ask yourself how you can live for it each day, not just your last.

What is your true purpose?  Are you aiming to develop your body, mind, or wealth?  Or all of these, each to a different extent.  Some men find success through their appearance, others through wealth, a few through social acumen.

Know your own priorities, work on your weak areas and play to your strengths.