We continue to discuss which verbal declarations of marriage are effective. The Talmud brings an amazing case:
If a man said: “Be betrothed to half of me”, she is betrothed. But if he said: “Half of you is betrothed to me” then she is not betrothed. Abaye said to Rava: What is different between the two cases? Is it because the Torah states: “When a man takes a woman, and marries her” (Deuteronomy 24:1), meaning he must take “a woman,” and not half a woman? So too, the Torah states: “A man,” and not half a man.
This appears to mean that just like a man must marry a whole woman, the man must give himself over entirely to his wife. Such a reflexive concept seems logical to our modern mainstream understanding of marriage. However, ancient marriage was not understood as creating equal obligations on men and women:
Rava said to Abaye: Are these cases comparable? A woman is not eligible to marry two men! But isn’t a man eligible to marry two women? So if he declares: “Be betrothed to half of me”, then this is what he is saying to her: If I wish to marry another wife, I will.
The meaning here is that when a man attempts to marry half a woman, he may intend to leave her other half for another man to marry. He could be trying to create a polygamous situation. This is impossible, as a woman cannot be married to two men. Marriage requires that a woman is only sexually available to her husband.
However, a man can indeed marry two women. They can share his wealth and he can devote equal time to both. However, two men cannot share one wife. This is a biological reality. If a man is intimate with two wives, and a pregnancy results, we know who the father is. In the converse case, a woman involved with multiple men, the actual father is unknown (without genetic testing).
Therefore marriage, as it was understood by people all over the globe for millennia, entitles the wife to time, attention, and resources. In return she must save her body only for her husband. This ensures that their children are actually the proper heirs.
This form of polygamy, polygyny, has been practiced for millennia all over the planet. We discussed the Biblical sources regarding polygyny in detail here: Kosher polygyny
Today the Daf also mentions that a woman may accept marriage even in return for a slight benefit, citing a popular saying among women: It is better to sit as two bodies, than to sit alone like a widow. Even when a man does not have much to offer other than companionship, that is still valuable.
However, typically women are looking to get the best partners they can, even if this desire is subconscious. Many women would prefer to obtain half the time, attention, and resources of a charming, accomplished, wealthy and high status man. Put another way, would you rather share a winner, or have a loser all to yourself?
Red Pill Rabbi 