Today the Talmud brings an amazing exchange about how the day a man is born can influence his character and deeds, based on the order of creation in Genesis. Others argue that the hour of the day matters more, since the planets exert power in different hours. Included in that list is that a man born under the sign of Venus will be wealthy and promiscuous, due to the passion of Venus. That will sound familiar from other astrological systems.

The Gemara notes that a man born under the sign of Mars will be destined to spill blood, but it is up to the man if he will be a thief, a doctor, or butcher. A man be influenced to be bloody, but have control over how he expresses this aspect of his personality.

 

Then the Gemara brings an argument if the celestial bodies have any impact on Jews, and brings explanations of Jeremiah 10:2 and Genesis 15:5 that prove your destiny is not set by the stars. Our sages bring episodes where small acts of charity saved people from their predicted death. These cases show that there is a certain power to fate or the stars, known as “mazal”, but that it can be overridden by your actions.

 

These events are tied into the ongoing debate between “nature and nurture”. Jewish philosophy teaches that both nature and nurture matter in forming a man’s personality, but that what matters most is the man’s own choices. His deeds can change his fate and overcome his inherent nature or whatever social programming he was given in his youth. It is never too late to change your outlook and realize that your own actions form you more than anything else. Our sages teach that you might not be able to eliminate personality traits but can find a healthy outlet for them.

 

The Talmud discusses feeding animals on Shabbat, and what sorts of food preparation you are permitted to do for animals.  On this topic our sages mention feeding stray dogs:

Rav Hamnuna said: Learn that it is the way of the world, i.e., proper conduct, to throw a piece of meat before a dog, as even the Holy One, Blessed be He, concerns Himself with the dog’s sustenance.  The Gemara asks: And how much food should one give to a dog?  Rav Mari said:  Give it the equivalent of the measure of its ear but then strike it with a staff to send it off so that the dog will not grow attached to the one who fed it.  This applies specifically when one is in the field, but in the city, one should not give anything to a dog because the dog will be drawn to follow him and remain with him forever.

The Torah also commends throwing meat to dogs (Ex. 22:30), as a reward for the dogs in Egypt not barking at the Jews as they escaped in the Exodus.  However, our sages remind us that the dog can become dependent.  If a man does not want the dog around forever, he can still feed it but must take care that it does not begin to be dependent on him for food.

This is a broader concept.  Some people in your life (particularly with attachment issues or childhood trauma) may become very attached to you when you feed them your time, attention, and affection.  This gives you a power, but it is also a danger.  They easily become dependent on you for emotional energy, and if you reduce it they will be very angry.  It is preferable not to create dependency.

This week we study Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25, a section called “Eikev”.  Moses continues his parting words to the Jewish nation before they enter the holy land.  Moses knows he will pass away when he is done commanding the people.  Moses urges the Jews to follow God’s commandments so they will be able to conquer the promised land.

Our sages explain that Moses uses the word “Eikev” which also means heel.  Moses was hinting that the commandments people sometimes ignore or trample under their heels are actually critical to success.  Topics some assume to be minor or secondary are in reality critical.

Some people prefer to focus on what they consider the essentials, what they see as the major issues, and ignore the details.  This is not in accordance with Jewish tradition.  We value the details of each commandment. 

A man can spend a lifetime studying just one aspect of Jewish law, we are expected to attain fluency in every area.  Pay attention to the details.  Jewish wisdom has a concept “small men make important things trivial, great men pay attention to details“.

For modern men this is vital.  See the big picture and pursue your goals, but don’t lose sight of the little steps on the way to your dreams.  If you are about to make a big business deal, don’t ignore the secretary while you wait for the manager.  Be friendly and engage with everyone, tell them good morning, compliment their shirt.  You never know if these people can help you, and we have an obligation to greet everyone pleasantly.

There is a story from the funeral of Rav Moshe (a major Rabbi in 20th century America).  A non Jewish doorman came to the funeral, which surprised the important Rabbis present.  How could he understand the greatness of Rav Moshe?  They asked why he came, and the doorman told them that Rav Moshe always cheerfully said good morning and asked about him, even if he was in the company of other famous rabbis.  Rav Moshe never ignored the simple doorman at his work.  Not overlooking people who are often ignored makes a great impression.

When you begin a new hobby, business, or sport too you must learn the details.  Lifting weights may seem easy, you just pick it up.  But there are vital nuances to technique and progressions.  Learning these allows you to customize your workout to your goals.  Of course, you need goals, both in general and in detail.

Self fulfilling prophecy

The Jews are warned that being full of food leads to rebellion against God (8:12).  The satiation mentioned here is more than with food. When a man feels like he has already accomplished his goals, he loses his drive for more. His drive to become something greater than he is. When you are sated, you lack the hunger to improve yourself.

The verse also refers to security, “good houses” and a sense of being settled in.  Moses is speaking to the generation of Jews that will wage war for years to win the Holy Land.  Moses knows that once the war is over and these men are settled, they will begin to lose their fighting spirit.  More than that, they will feel like they have already accomplished their mission and don’t need Divine assistance anymore (8:14, 17).  God points out that in the desert He provided Manna, so that when it was lacking they would feel deprivation.

This raises a question.  The manna was to feed the Jews, not deprive them.  What God seems to mean is that when men must rely on others for their daily bread, this creates an incredible opportunity to develop the recognition that they were reliant on God.  There is a certain humility a man internalizes when he cannot grow his own food, and he realizes that he depends on others, not just his own strength and effort.

Many modern people seem blissfully unaware of our dependence.  You don’t have to be a religious man, simply think about how you get food.  The vast majority of us do not raise and slaughter out own chickens.  Most modern men have never even seen a chicken get slaughtered.  Some would be repulsed by the blood and would find it hard to eat the meat.

Think about who raises the chickens.  Who supplies their feed and medications.  And how does that chicken get from the slaughterhouse to the store anyway?  Truck drivers.  And who builds the roads for the trucks? And who builds the trucks? And provides the fuel?  Who builds the trucks and the tires for the trucks?

Modern man is nested inside a vast and delicate logistical web.  Our sages point out the blessing that men are drawn after different occupations, so that the world will have everything it needs.  If all men would pick easy work, we would have no woodcutters or garbage haulers.  If all men were risk averse, humanity could not build bridges or dams.

This is something to be grateful for. If you don’t want to thank God, at least thank the men who keep everything running in our modern interconnected world.

Today the Talmud mentions an amazing figure in ancient Jewish culture: Rav Mari son of Rachel.  If you study scripture and ancient sources you will know that men are called after their father’s name: son of so-and-so.  Here Mari is called after Rachel, his mother.  The reason for this is that Rachel was captured by non-Jewish bandits operating in Babylonia.  During captivity, while she was waiting to be ransomed, she was violated and impregnated by one of the captors.  Per Jewish law, the man was not related to Mari so Mari was called after his mother.  This shows us how ancient cultures valued knowing a man’s parentage, and exactly who his father and mother were.  Mari was appointed one of the officials of the Babylonian Jewish community, despite coming from an unfortunate rendezvous.

Even more amazing is that the bandit who provided the biological source for Mari was apparently enamored with Rachel and impressed by the accomplishments of Mari.  He eventually converted to Judaism and is also mentioned in the Talmud.

Today the Talmud discusses the importance of a eulogy, explaining that if people at your funeral are crying, that reflects that you were righteous.  Our sages advise to live a life that others would say that was a life worth living.  This is interesting as you would think they would have said learn Torah and give charity every day or to follow all the Lord’s commands.

Instead the mark of a good life has a personalized, subjective element:  “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying: This is the path, walk on it, when you turn to the right or to the left” (Isaiah 30:21).  Our sages learn from here that if people eulogize a man by saying that others should follow in his path, he must have a share in the World-to-Come.  Now, turn right or left implies that you don’t need to follow the exact path of the deceased, but you need to understand his path through life and apply it to your own situation.  One of the reasons we study the lives of prominent wise men is to learn how to apply their wisdom to ourselves.

Our sages advise us to do things before your bed, meaning to accomplish what you can before you are lying in state and others are talking about your life and you cannot change anymore. Famously, Rabbi Eliezer states: “Return to your senses the day before you die”.  His students asked how would you know which day that is?  He replied live every day as if it is your last.

The Gemara make a metaphor that we are all invited to a royal banquet, but the invitation does not say when.  The wise will prepare for this banquet in advance, keeping ready and their clothing clean.  We could die any day.  What are we doing to prepare, to build a life that was worth living?

Today the Talmud brings a number of statement regarding aging.  In Jewish wisdom, old age brings wisdom and understanding, but our sages also recognized that there is an inevitable physical deterioration.  One of these encounters gives deeper insight into age and :

Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said to Rabbi Shimon ben Ḥalafta:  Why did we not greet you during the Festival the way that my fathers greeted your fathers?  This was a polite way of asking Rabbi Shimon ben Ḥalafta why he had not come to visit Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi on the Festival.  He said to him:  the rocks on the road have become tall, and destinations that were near have become far away, and my two feet have been made into three with a cane, and that which brings peace to the house is more idle.

“That which brings peace to the house” is a euphemism for a man’s sexual drive.  Our commentators explain that when a man would leave his wife for a journey he would make sure to give to her intimately before he left and then again when he returned.  This would reassure her of his desire and closeness to her even though he needed to travel away.  Rabbi Shimon ben Ḥalafta was implying that due to age perhaps his sexual ability was not strong enough to engage in intimacy on demand.  This exchange shows that as a man ages, his priorities evolve with his physical function.

 

The Gemara brings another interesting statement: a woman holds excrement and the opening expels blood, but every man runs after her.  This is not an insult to women, men are also a digestive system and their opening expels urine.  This statement points out that intellectually someone could be repulsed by the sexual organs since they are related to excretion and menstruation, but our physical desires overcome any revulsion and we ignore that aspect of the body.  Our sages state in Bava Metzia 84a “love (desire) pushes aside the flesh”.

Today the Talmud discusses touching a corpse on Shabbat, and on the topic of life and death reveals ancient profound wisdom:

Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says: For a living day-old baby, one desecrates Shabbat to save his life.  Yet for the David, king of Israel, once he is dead one does not desecrate Shabbat for him (to move his body).  For a day-old baby we desecrate Shabbat because the Torah says:  Desecrate one Shabbat for him so that he can observe many Shabbatot. But for the deceased David, king of Israel, one does not desecrate Shabbat, as once a person dies he is idle from Divine commandments.  And this is what Rabbi Yoḥanan said with regard to the verse: “Set apart among the dead [bametim ḥofshi], like the slain that lie in the grave, whom You remember no more” (Psalms 88:6). Once a person dies, he becomes free [ḥofshi] from the commandments.

When you are alive, you still have a chance to accomplish.  Sure, you have to decide what you need to do and how to go about working for it.  But you have the chance, the potential to accomplish anything.  As you grow in wisdom and age, you begin to realize the value of your time more than anything else.  As long as there is life, you have some potential, as the Gemara notes:

And it was also taught in a baraita that Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar said: It is not necessary to protect a live day-old baby from a weasel or from mice, for they run away from the baby.  But if Og, the king of Bashan (a mighty giant), is dead, it is necessary to protect even him from a weasel or from mice, as it is stated: “And the fear of you and the dread of you [ḥittekhem] shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every bird of the heavens” (Genesis 9:2).  The Gemara explains: As long as a person is alive [ḥai], he is feared by the animals. Once he dies, he is no longer feared.

The Gemara also discusses the fact that poverty is a recurring situation, and advises that even if you are rich now you should pray for your descendents not to suffer poverty.  Rabbi Hia told his wife to be quick to give bread to poor so others would give to their children.  She thought he was cursing their children.

Jewish wisdom understands that there is no permanency in the physical world.  A man may be on top today and in the gutter tomorrow.  Poverty can never be eliminated, the Bible states this Deut 16:11.  The best we can hope for is to work hard for our own families, and understand that a rising tide lifts all ships.

Today the Talmud concludes a discussion regarding Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylonia who conquered Israel and destroyed the first Temple and sent many Jews into exile.  Our sages bring the verse Habakkuk 2:16, and a tradition (passed down from our ancestors who were exiled to Babel) that the words in that verse “you are sated with shame rather than honor” refers to Nebuchadnezzar’s heinous conduct: as a show of power and domination Nebuchadnezzar used to sodomize the monarchs and nobles he had conquered.  He would draw lots each day to decide which man he would rape.

It is interesting that this conduct was not considered beneath his dignity, apparently it was not unexpected at the time. To contrast, the Talmud in Nedarim 65 notes that Tzidkiyahu witnessed Nebuchadnezzar eat a rabbit alive, and Nebuchadnezzar made him swear he would not reveal this episode.

When it came time for Tzidkiyahu, the Jewish king, to get the Nebuchadnezzar treatment, God made Nebuchadnezzar’s foreskin miraculously extend so he could not use his penis.  Everyone in the royal court saw this humiliation.  He could have worked together with these men to enhance his power and ability to rule his empire, instead he wanted to show his domination over them.  God gave an appropriate punishment.

There is a modern statement, which is true in some circles, that “Everything is about sex, except for sex.  Sex is about power”.  This may sound odd in our modern culture, but in ancient times it was quite common for men to sexually dominate women and even other men as a power play.  This was not just Nebuchadnezzar and the ancient Greeks, the Romans had a specific weapon for knocking out the teeth of captured enemies so the victorious Roman soldiers could humiliate them through oral contact.  When an army won it was quite common for the soldiers to take war brides from the defeated nation.

Modern men should be aware that your behavior during intimate activities does have the potential to express the relative power of the participants.  This concept is a danger and an opportunity and must be employed with wisdom.

Our sages also point out that God gave Nebuchadnezzar dominion over other kingdoms and even over animals, citing a tradition that he would ride on a lion.  However, this was after he had been humiliated, gone insane and lived as an animal for seven years (Daniel 4:33).  Only after he was humbled and recognized that his power was from Heaven was he given additional power over animals.

Today the Talmud discusses borrowing items on the Sabbath and holidays, and how to avoid the danger of writing down the loan.  Our sages bring an opinion of the academy of Hillel that for a loaf of bread and the like, it is prohibited to return objects without assessing their monetary value.  This could lead to taking prohibited interest if the object rose in value.  The Gemara notes that the Mishnah appears to allow casting lots among the family:

Rav Yehuda said that Rav said:  It is permitted to loan to one’s children and family members with interest, in order to let them experience a taste of how difficult it is to repay a loan taken with interest.

This is allowed because it is not technically taking interest, since the father is at the end of the day financially responsible for the children.  If a child wants an advance on his allowance, the father can make him pay back double to understand the concept and danger of interest.

This points out one of the major flaws in modern mainstream parenting: parents trying to make things easy for children.  This is the mentality that everyone should get a trophy at the end of every game.  Making things easy builds children who don’t know how to cope with losing or hardship. The conventional Jewish approach to education is to allow children to experience some difficulties so they learn how to cope with life.

Allowing children to experience the difficulties of trying to pay back not just what they borrowed but the interest as well will make them think twice before borrowing money.  They come to learn that a credit card is not a free loan, and to think carefully about the profitability of their degree before taking out student loans.  Children who don’t learn the value of their money and time will squander it.

 

Another amazing idea in today’s learning is that someone who causes another to be punished cannot be in the same inner sanctum with God.  The example given is the soul who volunteered to tempt Ahav to go out to war which would be his downfall.  The soul was actually Navot the Yazraeli, who had been framed and murdered by Ahav and his famously wicked wife Jezebel (I Kings 22:20).  Even though Navot was apparently seeking justice, he lost his elevated place in the next world.  Our sages explain it is not good for a righteous man to have others punished through him, Provers 17:26.

This idea shows us how Jewish wisdom looks at trying to undermine others.  There is a kind of snitching and complaining to authorities that is common in modern America and identified with “Karen”.  That is an insulting term for a person, usually female, who feels it is her mission to complain to the manager and report people to the authorities.  The Bible shows the spiritual flaw of such “Karens” even when we may think their complaints are just.

Today the Talmud raises a critical issue:

And Rava bar Rav Ḥanan said to Abaye: Did we not learn in a mishna that one may not clap hands, or clap one’s hand against one’s body, or dance on a Festival?  And we see, however, that people do these things, and we do not say anything to stop them… Leave the Jewish people alone, and do not rebuke them. It is better that they be unwitting in their violations and that they not be intentional sinners, for if they are told about these Rabbinic prohibitions they may not listen anyway…

The Gemara explains when this concept may apply.  There are differing opinions as to why the ancient sages banned clapping and dancing on holidays (and the Sabbath as well).  Rashi explains that we reduce our expressions of joy after the destruction of the Temple.

Tosafot brings an opinion that the prohibition is needed since once people start the beat and dancing going, someone could make or repair musical instruments to accompany the song and dance.  You can imagine men setting up an improvised drum or replacing strings on their harp, both of which can be serious problems on Sabbath or holidays.

You can see from here that it is easy to get carried away in celebration with song and dance.  Music has a very special power in Jewish wisdom, and can even bring about prophecy (2 Kings 3:15).  Be aware of the power of a solid beat, and use it.  In addition, many parties are fueled not just by music but by alcohol as well.  Alcohol too is recognized as a power and danger in Jewish tradition.  A man needs to be cognizant that when he uses this tool he does not take his drinking too far.