We begin a new chapter and a new Mishnah:

Originally, the practice among the priests was that whoever wanted to remove the ashes from the altar could remove them. And when there are many, they would choose by a race: The priests run up the ramp leading to the top of the altar. The priest who precedes another and reaches within four cubits of the top of the altar first wins…

An incident occurred where both of them were equal in running and ascending on the ramp, and one of them shoved another and he fell and his leg was broken. And once the court saw that they were coming to danger, they instituted that priests would remove ashes from the altar only by means of a lottery.

This service was removing ashes from the day before to start on a clean slate.  Since it takes place just before dawn, the assumption was that not many Priests would show up, so they did not bother to draw lots for the privilege.  However, once many Priests wanted this merit, they started holding the race.

It is natural for men to compete.  It is interesting that in the Holy Temple, the central spiritual locus, the Priest held a physical competition like schoolboys would at recess.  This is no contradiction.  God wants us to use our physical energies for holy purposes.

All men have a competitive drive, and this drive needs a healthy outlet.  Find a sport, area or hobby you can compete in and try to excel.  If you can improve and maintain your health through this competition, all the better.

The Talmud also notes that we do not count people by number, and that this brought about a plague in King David’s time.  Rav Cook explained that we do not assign a number to individuals. A man cannot be defined and limited by a number, a man can change who he is and become whoever he wants to be.  He is not a number, not limited by a specific label.

But once you assign a man a number, he feels locked into that identity.  It is dangerous to label men – and especially to label yourself.  You do not want to feel like you are an unchanging constant, you want to be motivated to keep working on yourself.  Jewish wisdom does not want a man to be just a number which is part of the collective, because every individual has the ability to develop a unique connection to God.

Today we complete the first chapter of Yoma with a list of various miracles in the Temple and in ancient Jerusalem.  This includes a modification of time-space which allowed Jews the space to bow down in the Temple courtyard with plenty of room, even though the yard was packed with people.

The wording in the Gemara is they stood straight up so tightly packed they were swept off their feet, but bowed down with ample space.  This hints to a larger concept.  When you are unyielding and refuse to compromise, you have less space to maneuver among other people.  There are certain occasions where that attitude is necessary, but typically being flexible will get you more space for your own purposes.

The Talmud also notes that even when a Divine fire came from above to consume items on the altar, we were commanded to bring our own human made fire as well*.  What use is a weak man made fire compared to an all consuming Divine fire?

It is a lesson that men should not rely on miracles.  You need to become self motivating and start moving in the right direction to merit outside help.  Don’t ask other men to guide you when you are not putting in the work.

*Elijah at Carmel is the exception, not the rule.

The Talmud today describes how not only the High Priest and his fellows in the Temple stayed awake the entire night of Yom Kippur, but other people did so as well.

It was taught that Abba Shaul said: They would do so even in the outlying areas like in the Temple; however, the result was that some would sin (since men and women would talk together to pass the time and hook up).

Abaye said, and some say it was Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak who said: this is referring to the city of Neharde’a, as Elijah the Prophet said to Rav Yehuda, brother of Rav Salla Ḥasida: You wondered: Why has the Messiah not come?  Isn’t today Yom Kippur, and how many virgins were bedded in Neharde’a (as the men and women stayed awake together all night).

Rav Yehuda said to him: What did the Holy One, Blessed be He, say about this?  He said: Sin lies in waiting at the door” (Genesis 4:7).  He asked him: And what did Satan the prosecutor say about their sinning? Elijah said to him: Satan, on Yom Kippur, has no authority to prosecute.

First of all, we have discussed how Satan is not a nemesis to God but a subservient robot working for God’s purposes. His job is to provide temptations for us to overcome, but his power is reduced on Yom Kippur.

This Gemara reminds us that even without Satan urging sin, it is natural for a young man and young woman together at night to act on their innate biological urges.  Parents should be aware that leaving boys and girls together, even good religious ones, will have an inevitable result.  To address this, Jewish law has regulations about Yihud, being alone with others when it creates an opportunity for intimacy.

For a man who is seeking to connect with a woman, even if your goal is not hooking up but marriage, the converse is true: You have to be around women first. 

This should be obvious, but in the current generation most people interact through a screen, and may be awkward when dealing in women in person.  A young man with limited experience needs to become comfortable speaking with other people in person, and building up his interpersonal skills over time.  

The Talmud continues describing the preparation of the High Priest, noting that he practiced offering the incense in the chamber where they prepared the incense.  There is a debate over if this room was on the same side or opposite side of the Temple from where the High Priest would sleep for the week before Yom Kippur.

Our sages suggest that it would be sensible for this room to be on the same side for convenience, so the High Priest does not need to go around in circles.  The Gemara counters that it is better to put him out, so if he was secretly a Sadducee (a heretical movement) he would give up on being High Priest.  Or if he was a normal Jew he would remain humble, even though he had the highest position.

There is a profound lesson here.  When someone is really committed they go to any length.  Pay attention to your relationships, are these people willing to put in the effort when it is still difficult?

Evaluate your own life, and see where you are ready to put in any amount of time and effort to accomplish something.  That is likely your real mission.

However, be aware that modern society indoctrinates young men to be useful to others, especially to women.  You may find that you are putting much of your time and talents into other people without reciprocation.  Evaluate if you are getting back what you put in.

We are learning Leviticus 21:1–24:23, “Emor”.  Last time we read Emor, we discussed why the High Priest was required to marry a virgin, and how she relied on his acceptance by other men in her society to prove his value.

We noted that the High Priest is elevated by his brothers, the other Kohanim:

The High Priest is called Cohen Gadol in Hebrew, and the verse actually states “Gadol me’ehav” meaning great from his brothers.  The plain meaning is this man must be better than his brothers, but our sages note that should be written with different grammar.  Rather we learn from here that his brothers makes him great.  He becomes great through his brothers, from his brothers.  From how his fellow men treat him:  If he is poorer they give him wealth.  If he is not very learned they teach him Torah.  (Talmud Yoma 19, Mishneh Torah, Klei Hamikdash 5:1).

This man, in becoming High Priest, becomes the greatest and most respected of his fellow Priests.  He was given the highest religious authority in the Biblical universe. With this authority and power came the responsibility to be the central figure in Jewish spiritual life.  He brought offerings every day, and especially on Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, the High Priest offered the sin offering to atone on behalf of the entire nation.

The Gemara in Yoma (18) describes how the High Priest was prepared for Yom Kippur, including showing him the specific animals which would be used.  We uncovered an amazing insight there:

The Talmud notes that when they showed the High Priest the animals for Yom Kippur, they did not show the goats for the national sin offering, since this could sadden him.  He may think of the immense burden of sins from the entire nation for which he would be trying to attain atonement through this animal.  The Gemara asks why they showed him the bull, since that was to become a sin offering on behalf of all the Priests.  Our sages answer that if a Priest was sinning the High Priest would find out, and talk with the man to get him to see the error of his ways.

The High Priest, elevated by his brothers to be their leader and figurehead, was also responsible for their spiritual level.  Since all the Cohanim gave him power and deferred to his authority, when the High Priest called out a man for wrongdoing, he would listen and work on his errors.  The High Priest had not only direct authority over the Priests, but the responsibility to figure out what their issues were and help them to improve.

However, without the authority, having responsibility is meaningless.  If the High Priest was not accepted and respected as the leader, the regular priests would not need to heed his warnings.  They could go on sinning despite his protest.  A High Priest could shout, scream, argue, and shame the others, but without authority over them he could change their ways.

Therefore, High Priest was not troubled by seeing the bull which would be the sin offering for all of the Cohanim, but he could be bothered by seeing the goats for the entire nation.  True he was a religious leader, but he had no direct authority over every person in the nation.

Headship revisited

This is similar to the Biblical view of a man within his own family.  The husband and father is the head of the household, as we described by Abraham back in Genesis:

But why is it God takes Abraham to task for what his wife told herself?  God knows Abraham is working to enhance the spiritual level of his family and does everything he can to educate and lead them to righteousness.  God says this explicitly (Gen 18:19).  This is headship: being the responsible party for the spiritual development of the family.  Abraham is the man to talk to about a lapse of faith because he is the head of the family.

Today we live in a bizarre world, where men are expected to take responsibility for others – but without having any actual authority over them.  This is the opposite of the Biblical system, which is ridiculed as patriarchy.  By demonizing patriarchy, modern people don’t have to deal with is seriously, which prevents them from understanding reality.

For thousands of years, this despised patriarchy benefited men, women, and children by providing stability, expectations, and responsibilities from each member of the family.  Sure, fathers could abuse authority, but there is not indication this was ever common.

Today, in modern western culture, a man can do his best to care for his wife and children, but he has no real authority.  If the wife feels unfulfilled or thinks she can do better with another man, she can simply leave, take the children, his house, and roughly half his earnings for a significant length of time.  Due to the modern “justice” system, women usually win custody and a beneficial financial settlement.  They are paid generously to blow up marriages.

We know that the items a society incentivizes, it gets more of.  We analyzed this by adultery, which was rare in Biblical society due to powerful stigma against it.  Modern mainstream America encourages divorce, through financial, social, legal, and media-driven methods.

Men know this, every American man has heard of other men ruined by being chewed by a punitive ex and the divorce machine.  Even simply being aware of this possibility is enough to dramatically reduce a man’s leverage in his own family.  When the wife can always evict him and steal his assets, he has to walk on eggshells when trying to exert influence in the home.

Back to the High Priest.  The other Priests gave him authority because he was the best and the brightest, and even if he wasn’t, they chose to accept him and elevate him as if he was.  Men valued the accomplishments of their fellow men, and society valued these priests very highly, so women realized that their mission was important.

Modern mainstream culture, as we noted, devalues men and their work. It demands that we take responsibility without having any of the inherent authority of a responsible man.  So what, besides MGTOW, can we do?

It is up to men to reinforce one another, give each other value, and remind our fellow men of our own greatness.  We cannot rely on the media or society to ascribe any value to masculine endeavors, we need to do that ourselves, in our own circles.  You can help another man understand how to thrive in this world, teach him useful wisdom, and encourage him to find his own mission in life and develop his personal value.

This is a workaround to relying on our society to teach a man his role in life.  When mainstream society indoctrinates a young man, it is not for his own benefit.  Often men are left confused about what they should be trying to accomplish, leading to a generation of “lost boys”.

Instead we must work to make ourselves and our own tribe of brothers successful and valuable.  Men working together to realize their own authority means that each man is less likely to accept living in a situation where he has responsibility without authority.

Over time (and probably due to shifting economic conditions or, God forbid, a significant disaster), women will realize that men like us are valuable, respectable, and should by default have authority.  You can’t simply ask a woman to  respect you and accept your authority. This makes her the power giver, and any authority given can be removed.

May we merit to realize our value, find our mission, and succeed.

The Talmud begins expounding a critical Mishnah describing how the High Priest was prepared for Yom Kippur:

MISHNA: The Sages provided the High Priest with Elders from the Elders of the highest court, they would read before him the order of the day.  And they would say to him: My Master, High Priest, read the Torah with your own mouth, as perhaps you forgot or perhaps you did not learn this section.  On Yom Kippur eve in the morning, they stood him at the eastern gate and pass before him the bulls and rams and sheep so that he will be familiar with these animals…

These teachers were among the most venerated sages of the generation, and judges on the highest court, but they referred to the High Priest as their master even if he was relatively uneducated.  After they taught him, they had him look into the original sources – the Bible verses about Yom Kippur, and had him examine the specific animals that would be used on Yom Kippur.

When you teach a man, find a way to respect him and get him to understand the value of the material you are giving over.  Share with him the original sources, statistics, and support for your words.  Don’t expect him to take your word for it, no matter your own importance.  After that, show him how it works in practice.

The Talmud notes that when they showed the High Priest the animals for Yom Kippur, they did not show the goats for sin offerings, since this could sadden him.  He may think of the immense burden of sins from the entire nation for which he would be trying to attain atonement through this goat. 

The Gemara asks why they showed him the bull, since that was to become a sin offering on behalf of all the Priests.  Our sages answer that if a Priest was sinning the High Priest would find out, and talk with the man to get him to see the error of his ways.

One of the most important things you can do to improve yourself is to become part of a tribe or a fellowship of men.  Not just any men, but men who will tell you when you are making a mistake and admit their mistakes to try to help you avoid the same problems.

The Talmud today notes that the High Priest was told to avoid certain foods that increase semen, to prevent becoming contaminated through a nocturnal seminal emission  The Gemara lists eggs, fatty meat, and wine as being among the foods that increase a man’s production of semen.  Having a proper diet can enhance your intimate health.

On the topic of avoiding nocturnal emissions while traveling, the Gemara brings this gem:

When Rav would travel to Darshish he would declare: Who will be married to me for the days that I am here?  When Rav Naḥman would come to Shekhantziv he would declare: Who will be married to me for the days that I am here?

The Talmud and later commenters debate if this was a full marriage with intimate relations, or a mere designation as a potential wife, which would allow the man to be alone with this woman.  If he ended up staying longer in that town than a few days, he would be able to fully marry the woman.

Now, these were great sages and already married back in their hometowns.  We discussed how the Bible permits a man to have multiple wives.  They were concerned that traveling for an extended time away from their wives would increase their desire and lead to sin, so they took steps to set up a situation where if needed they could satisfy their normal physical drives in a permitted way.

This Gemara has tremendous wisdom.  When know that you can get your needs met, you are not be desperate to find unhealthy outlets for your energies.  Our sages refer to this mindset as “having bread in your basket”, modern men may call it abundance mentality.  When a man is not needy, he can be more effective and in control of himself.  King David made practical use of this concept in his relationships.

Yesterday we have an apparent contradiction over which corner of a Temple chamber the room of lambs was. Nthe Gemara resolves the divergent statements by noting that they are both accurate, depending on which direction you walk around the chamber.

We had assumed both referred to circling the chamber towards the right, but it turns out only one version was based in this orientation.

How you perceive issues depends on where you are coming from.  A man with certain beliefs and experiences may judge another man’s behavior as sinful and abhorrent, but a different man may see the same things as benign or even praiseworthy.

The only way to reconcile the contradictory understanding is to know where both observers are coming from.  This is vital when communicating with people of different backgrounds, so you don’t end up saying opposite things about the same issue.

On the topic of the order of operations in the Temple and contradictory accounts of the location of the chamber of lambs, the Talmud describes the layout of the courtyards and offices around the Temple.

One of the rooms built into the wall of the Temple was used to store the stones of the altar which were removed after the Greeks defiled them by bringing offerings to idols.  The Jews who rebelled against the Greek occupation and eventually won (which we celebrate during Hanukkah) had to take apart the altar and rebuild it with new materials.

However they did not simply discard the contaminated stones.  They were kept within the Temple, since they had been first used for holy service.  The room opposite this store room contained a stairway to an underground purification spring.  When the Priests went to purify themselves, they would pass by room of the defiled stones.

There is a deep message here.  First, your innate value is never lost.  We are all made in the Divine image, and we all make mistakes that tarnish this image.  However, our real importance remains intact, and we need to respect ourselves despite our human errors.

Still, if your current situation is not working for you, consider rebuilding yourself with “new material”.  Your personality is not static, you can work to change how you act and react to life.  You may require a radical reconstruction, discarding old attitudes that do not function and finding totally new approaches.  If you have difficulties in many areas of life, pick something under your direct control to begin with – for many men this is diet and exercise.

Second, being aware of your personal problems helps you to address them and prevent future strife.  If you hide aspects of yourself or deny your weaknesses, you can not deal with them.  Instead, keep track of your insecurities and issues.  Even when you have solved problems you had earlier, remind yourself that this is a potential weakness so you do not repeat the mistakes.

The Talmud explores a debate between Abba Shaul and the other rabbis over the order of service in the Temple.  The issue is a contradiction over if removing ashes from the lamps of the candelabrum (Menorah) preceded the burning of the incense.  Abba Shaul says that in practice they would clean out five lamps, sprinkle the blood of the daily offering, then clean out the last two lamps and prepare them for lighting that evening.  The Rabbis state that they would burn the incense in between the five lamps and the last two.

In either opinion, we see that the Priests did prep work on the Menorah, then turned to complete another task, then finished getting the lamps ready for that evening*.  True multitasking is difficult and brings the risk of not doing your best in any of the tasks you need to finish.

*(Rambam holds they would also light the Menorah in the morning, and hatava here means hadlaka.)

However, when you know that you are simply preparing for the next part of your life, you can wind down one task while looking forward to the next.  This comes up in your business: as you are completing one deal you should already be looking for the next opportunity.  For an employee, we all know a man should find a new job, or at least solid leads, before he quits his current job.

You can, and should, have your next mission in mind while you are finishing up what you are working on now.

Today we begin to explore what the High Priest was doing during the seven days of preparation before Yom Kippur.  The Talmud inquires about a disagreement between Rabbi Akiva and the other rabbis over the effects of sprinkling the purification water made from the ashes of the Red Heifer.  Rabbi Akiva says that if you would sprinkle water on someone who is pure, he becomes impure while the rabbis say that does not happen, but that even carrying the waters makes someone impure.

In response to the rabbis claiming his position is illogical, Rabbi Akiva cites what King Solomon, the wisest man, said about the Red Heifer:  “I said I would become wise, but it eludes me” (Ecclesiastes 7:23).  According to Rabbi Akiva, Solomon was beguiled by the fact that sprinkling purifying waters on a pure man will make him impure.

There is a profound wisdom here.  Judaism is known as an intellectual religion, and men are expected to develop both their analytical faculties and their knowledge base.  But there are a some areas where we need to rely on God, and know that we don’t get it, but He does.  Not everything in life makes sense to us, and it is not supposed to.

God put a few things into the Bible that are not clearly logical to teach us this lesson.  We have to learn to live with unanswered questions, lest we grow arrogant and assume we have all the answers.  If you need to have all the answers to succeed in life, you will be paralyzed trying to get the answers instead of living.

A man who thinks he knows it all is going to make a lot of bad mistakes in his life.  He will not be open to learning a new approach to living and exploring if that may work better than his previous assumptions.  We learn from the wisest man that you cannot understand everything, sometimes you need to go ahead and act on what you have.