We are analyzing the epic dispute over “semicha”, the ritual leaning on an animal before offering it as a sacrifice.  A man would lean his weight onto the head of this animal and either confess his mistakes or praise God.

The greatest sages over many generations argued over if this leaning could be performed on a holiday, when there is prohibition from riding or otherwise making use of animals.  While discussing this issue, the Gemara cites Leviticus 1:2 and 1:4 as teaching that only men are required to perform semicha, not women.  However, the Gemara cites a statement from Abba Elazar that once they had a calf for a peace-offering, and brought it to the Women’s Courtyard, and the women placed their hands on it. He explains this was not because there is an obligation of semicha for women, but in order to please the women.

In Jewish law, women are exempted from Divine commands that can only be performed at a specific time.  The logic for this is that women are already responsible for their household and children, and those duties may not allow them to suddenly stop everything and start doing something else.  However, when possible woman can voluntarily engage in time dependent commandments.

We should point out that most of the Divine commands in the Bible do not require a specific behavior at a certain time and women are obligated in these, such as keeping kosher.  Women are also included in many of the aspects of the holidays, like eating Matzoh on Passover.

In modern practice, women go above and beyond to be involved even in observances they are not required to perform, such as hearing the Shofar on Rosh Hashanah and Parshat Zachor, and men encourage this.  This outlook goes back to a debate between Moses and Pharaoh.  In Exodus 10:8-11, Pharaoh asks who would go out to serve God, and Moses answers “young and old, sons and daughters”.  Pharaoh rejects this, stating that only adult men should be involved in religion 10:11.

The mentality of the idolaters was that only grown men had religious responsibilities.  Of course they involved women sometimes as temple prostitutes and children as sacrificial offerings.  But the real pious were only men.  The idea that youngsters and females should play an active role in rituals was ridiculous to Pharaoh.

Judaism innovated the concept of getting women and children on board.  Even though neither are really required to perform certain ritual acts, many times allowing them to participate when appropriate brings joy and a sense of belonging.

This wisdom is not merely for religion.  If you are leading a team on a project, make sure to get everyone involved in some way.  When people give their time and talent for a cause, they become invested in it and emotionally attached to the success of the project.

Yesterday the Talmud began the epic tale of the four sages who entered the “Pardes” or mystical orchard.  This was a spiritual journey delving into the secrets of how God runs the universe.

In the “orchard” they experienced intense revelations of the Divine.  Rabbi Akiva warned the other three men to resist trying to label what they saw, but they each encountered something beyond their ability to grasp intellectually.

Ben Azzai glimpsed (a vision of the Divine; God has no physical form so apparently this was a vision of the way God causes spiritual energy to flow into the physical world) and died. Some explain that he did not die but became so enthralled with the spiritual world that he no longer had any interest in regular life.

Ben Zoma glimpsed and was harmed, meaning he lost his mind.  The fourth man, who became known as Aher, other, chopped down the saplings, meaning he became a heretic (see Nedarim 28-29).

The Gemara explains that Aher saw Metatron, a powerful angel, sitting in heaven.  Thinking that only God Himself should be allowed to “sit” in heaven, Aher began to think that there could be challenges to God’s authority.

This idea is heretical since there is no power outside God.  Other faiths explain that there are dark forces opposing God, but this is not the Jewish monotheistic understanding of spiritual reality.

Even Satan, the angel of death, is merely an agent of God.  He has zero independent authority and no power other than what God gives him.  When forces are allowed to tempt men, this is to do God’s will, so the men will succeed and grow from their struggle (see Job).

Aher started questioning his faith. The Gemara explains how “Aher” got this name.  Once he stopped believing he decided to go for broke, and went to a harlot.  She recognized him as the respected rabbi Elisha Ben Avuyah and questioned what he was doing there.

In response he picked a turnip out of the ground, on the Sabbath, something no religious Jew would do, as that is forbidden.  She responded that this man must be “Aher” meaning another man, not actually the famous rabbi.

The Gemara notes that two other learned Torah scholars also became heretical in the days of King David, but explains that they had some corruption in their hearts before they began their careers in wisdom.  Therefore, learning the Word did not save them from turning to a dark path.

Tosafot cites a passage from the Jerusalem Talmud explaining that this factor was present in Aher himself.  He explained to his last student, Rabbi Meir, that when he was circumcised his father threw a great party for all the prominent men of Jerusalem.

While most of the guests ate, drank, sang and danced, some of the rabbis began to learn Torah, and a heavenly fire surrounded them.  Seeing this, Avuyah proclaimed that if that is the glory of Torah, then if the child lived he would be set towards learning.  Since his father had glory in mind, his intention in sending him to learn was not for the sake of Heaven.

Keep in mind that was Elisha Ben Avuyah explaining why he went bad.  He considering himself broken from the beginning.  His father probably pushed him into the academy with bribes and promises of honor, fame, and glory.

Elisha knew he was sinning, and was looking for excuses to keep on doing what felt good.  He was not truly rotten to his core, but if he could blame his father for setting him on the wrong path, that would justify his current behavior and absolve him of guilt.

In modern times you will meet people who explain their own problems as being the result of their parent or upbringing.  They are not wrong, but that is only part of the equation.  Jewish wisdom teaches that we have a degree of free will despite the conditions that are beyond our control.

It can be very dangerous to attribute your own failures to the actions of others in the past.  This can undermine your motivation to seize control of your life and make the changes necessary to start heading on the course you choose for yourself.  If you feel broken inside, you are capable of driving your life into the ground.

The Talmud asks how Rabbi Meir could continue learning Torah with Aher.  He expounded Proverbs 22:17 as teaching that one can learn wisdom from corrupt sources as long as his heart is with God.  The Gemara cautions that this leniency is only for great men.

Typically when you learn wisdom you will also absorb some of the life outlook of the teacher.  This can be a blessing if the teacher is a great man.  However, in modern times anyone can use social media to manipulate people into thinking they are successful in order to sell their advice.  It is vital to you to get the guru you learn from, and be aware that teachers can be pushing an agenda in addition to their information.

The Talmud relates that in the last generation prior to the destruction of the Temple and Jerusalem (almost two millennia ago) there was a lack of leadership.  Due to the sins of the people and the social and political upheaval of the time, many people did not respect sages or wise men.

When this led to chaos, the men of Jerusalem realized their folly and looked for someone who had learned Torah to become a leader and give them advice.  The Gemara explains that to the credit of the men of that time, they did not lie about having learned wisdom in order to gain power.

Recall that men naturally form hierarchies, which tend to promote competent and capable men to leadership roles.  When there are no leaders, men with some ability step into that role.  When leaders are ineffective, men lower in the hierarchy challenge their power.

This is a normal and innate function of men.  We are all made in the Divine image (Genesis 1:27) but we each have our own individual talents and abilities.  A man should analyze the hierarchies he is in, be they social, political, or religious, and figure out what qualities are needed to lead.  If you desire more status, work on yourself to develop and practice those abilities.  Even if you don’t want to lead, you know what to look for when your structure has problems and needs competent leadership.

Today the Daf begins recounting a famous episode where four ancient Rabbis went to “Pardes”.  This literally means orchard, and is a metaphor for a mystical place where secrets of heaven were revealed.  Pardes is also the root of the English word paradise.  It is debate between Rashi and Tosafot if these men went physically to this place through using a Holy Name, or went there in their mind only.

Rabbi Akiva warned the other sages that when they reach a place with pure marble stones, do not say: “Water, water” even though they appear to be water, because it is stated: “He who speaks falsehood shall not be established before My eyes” (Psalms 101:7).  We shall see on tomorrow’s Daf that this warning was not heeded, with disastrous results for the others.

It appears that only Rabbi Akiva had prior experience in the “Pardes”, so he took the role of leader on this expedition.  It is human nature to want to give everything a label, so we can understand it.  Rabbi Akiva was trying to explain that not everything can be precisely labelled and categorized.

Instead of trying to explain everything, we should remember that we cannot always understand what we do not understand.  We may be better served by simply being fully aware during a new experience.  Be in the moment, not in your own head.

When you first experience something new, don’t think you really understand it and can label and describe it.  Being able to represent something accurately in words takes time and familiarity.  This is why a coach with years of experience may be able to teach a sport or martial art, he has the developed the vocabulary to describe how to do it correctly.

The Talmud mentions the dangers of learning about the Merkava, the Chariot.  This esoteric material is based on the vision of Ezekiel in the first chapter of his book.  In ancient times, some advanced rabbis were familiar with the deeper meaning and could expound a detailed system of interrelated spiritual concepts based on this vision.

Ezekiel also has some verses that are confusing and can appear to contradict other parts of the Torah.  As a result, the sages considered banning learning in Ezekiel.  One man, Hananya Ben Hizkiyah, took a book of Ezekiel up to the attic with 300 barrels of oil to fuel his lamp.  In isolation, he worked out all of the apparent problems with Ezekiel and thus prevented it from being hidden away.

Especially in modern times, we are often inundated with many to do items.  Isolating yourself and turning off every other distraction can help you to be much more productive.  Focusing on one single task to the exclusion of all others is a powerful skill to master.

The Gemara relates that someone learning Ezekiel was “burned” by uncovering more than he was ready for.  In response, the sages again discussed banning learning in Ezekiel.  Hananya Ben Hizkiyah pointed out that this was a rare event, since the vast majority of people cannot extrapolate from the plain verses into the mystical level.  He again saved Ezekiel.

Keep in mind that if you communicate on an intellectual level, or use a more advanced vocabulary than average, many people may not understand what you mean.

If you want to relate to other people, keep your message simple and easily understandable.  Avoid nuance and vague phrases, unless you are trying to be vague and mysterious for a reason.  When communicating face to face, use body language, arm movement, and facial expressions to reinforce your points.

After teaching yesterday that we do no publicly explains the secrets of creation, the Talmud mentions a few aspects  of creation that are permitted to study, including this statement:

Rav Zutra bar Tuvya said that Rav said: The world was created through ten attributes: Through wisdom, through understanding, through knowledge, through strength, through rebuke, through might, through righteousness, through justice, through kindness, and through mercy.

Wisdom, understanding, and knowledge are purely intellectual, and sound redundant.  But just like the Eskimo have words for various types of snow, Jews have many terms to describe aspects of human intellect.  Wisdom is defined as “he knows what he learned” meaning a man has it down, he has reviewed and organized his own mind and knows what he knows.  This means he also is aware of what he doesn’t yet know.

Understanding here is defined as understanding a new thing through making distinctions in his existing wisdom.  He takes what he already knows and extrapolates, creating new information and connections.

Here Rashi defined Knowledge as “yishuv” or settled.  All the wisdom in the world does not help you without a sound mind to employ it.  If you are not on an even keel, you cannot recall and apply your information and innovations.

Modern society encourages people to react through emotions.  People in mainstream society have all heard “men need to get in touch with their emotions” and the like.  There is certainly a place for feelings, but we are created with a powerful intellect and indulging in emotions blunts our ability to use the mind.

After strength, meaning physical power, the fifth item on the list is rebuke.  The Talmud illustrates this point by noting that God created the waters and sky as expanding, and then when they reached the level He wanted, he rebuked them to stop.  The forces of creation would have expanded forever unless God set a firm boundary for them.  It is notable that for the expanding of the physical world the Talmud uses the metaphor of two spools of thin thread unwinding, alluding to DNA which is comprised of two strands.

Men also have an innate power to expand in any direction.  We see that a man may pursue many women, hobbies, or careers in his life.  This is especially true when he is young, but even mature men feel a need to start anew and expand their horizons.

It requires great self restraint to limit yourself and focus on what is truly central to your mission.  We do not have boundless time and energy, so continuing to act in an expansive way will ultimately create problems.  You can be a “jack of all trades” but you will be the master of none.  We need to apply our rational power to harness our expansive power in the specific direction we choose.

A man who has the ability to set strict limits and expectations for himself will also find it easier to create and enforce firm boundaries in his relationships with others.  If you find yourself being walked all over by others, this certainly needs to be corrected.  However, you also need to check if you are living up to your own self imposed expectations.

ב”ש אומרים שמים נבראו תחיתה עיין עירובין יג: נח לו לאדם שלא נברא

– מספר עמודי שמים עיין היטיב סוף מכות – צדיק באמונתו יחיה

We begin the second chapter of Hagiga “ayn dorshin” with a striking Mishnah directing that we limit how we teach certain topics:

One may not teach the laws of forbidden sexual relations before three or more; nor the secrets of Creation before two or more; nor the mystical Chariot to anyone, unless he is wise and understands on his own.

The Gemara explains that we indeed teach about forbidden relations, but must be careful to teach in a small setting so that students do not get the wrong idea and come to permit that which is not allowed.  The other areas mentioned are esoteric concepts that most men, even serious students, do not begin to understand on their own.  They deal with what is beyond the scope of the observable physical world, what was before the creation of the world, and deep spiritual concepts of how the world is managed through intangible mystical forces.

Our sages are reminding us to live in the here and now, and use our intellect to study life as it is, not to focus on and philosophize about esoteric concepts.  The point of life is to do, not to philosophize.  Yes, Judaism emphasizes the use of our rational mind, but not to daydream about abstractions, but to understand reality, solve everyday problems, and live better.  Wisdom is not something locked in the ivory tower, it is information that helps you perform better.

Today’s Daf also mentions that part of the danger of teaching about forbidden sexual relations is that everyone has this temptation.  If you meet a man who tells you he is immune to lust, he is lying or quite unhealthy and should have his testosterone levels checked.  Desire is natural and God created us with strong physical urges for a reason.  A mature man controls it and decides when and where to exercise his innate desire.

The message today is don’t worry about what is going on in heaven or before time.  Use your intellect to solve the problems that are actually in front of you.  Focus on optimizing how you live in this world and solving the challenge of harnessing your desires and lusts into good outcomes.

The Talmud cites a Mishnah noting that certain areas of Torah “are like mountains suspended by a hair” since they have little explanation written in the Torah, while there are many details of their laws.  Other areas of law have considerable support in the written verse.

As we discussed in the introduction, sometimes the written Bible is an outline while the oral Torah explains the specifics and application of the law.  The Daf today notes that even the Sabbath, about which there are many verses in the Bible, has some items that require men to extrapolate from the written verses.

The Talmud (on tomorrow’s Daf) explains that the purpose behind this Mishnah to guide us where to find the information we need to explore a topic.  If we are dealing with negaim (a skin condition), which has many verses, star by looking in the verses.  If the question is about ritual impurity, which has few verses but plenty of material in the Mishnah, start with the Mishnah.

You have to go where the information is and work to understand it and apply it to your situation.  When there is not relevant wisdom available, you use whatever already exists and build your own systems on top of that.

Many times we are less effective as men because we are not taking the time to find the wisdom we need to thrive in our field.  Look for men who have succeeded already at what you want to do and find out how they did it.  Then don’t mindlessly copy them, but apply what is relevant to your own situation.

The Talmud brings the law that if a man did not bring his offerings the first day of a holiday he must bring them to the Temple during the holiday.  If he did not, he cannot make up the lost chance.  Our sages illustrate this concept with the verse “That which is crooked cannot be made straight; and that which is wanting cannot be numbered” (Ecclesiastes 1:15).

The idea is that when you have a chance to accomplish something and let it slide, your lack of action cannot be undone.  Don’t assume you will have another chance, jump on the opportunities you are presented with.  Our sages explain the end of the verse “cannot be numbered” as referring to a group of men who set out on a worthy undertaking, and someone did not join them.  He cannot be numbered among these successful men anymore.

Even if you are just a small part in a great task, you are part.  Some men ignore opportunities to join in because they would only be a bit player.  This is a mistake, you should focus on the mission, not your personal credit.  If the goal is worthwhile, go ahead and join and be counted among the men who change the world.

Today the Daf brings an amazing exchange:

Bar Hei Hei said to Hillel: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Then you shall again discern between the righteous and the wicked, between he who serves God and he who does not serve Him” (Malachi 3:18)?  Is not “The righteous” the same as “he who serves God,” while “the wicked” is the same as “he who does not serve Him”?

Hillel replied: “who serves Him” and the one “who does not serve Him” are both referring to completely righteous people. But one who reviews his studies one hundred times is not comparable to one who reviews his studies one hundred and one times.

Obviously the difference here is 1%, a miniscule amount.  Someone who reviewed wisdom or practices a skill 100 times has mastered it already.  The tiny difference shows that the man who put in the extra effort is doing it not to solidify the idea in his own mind, but because he respects the Word.  The same applies to a man who is already fluent in a sport or a task but keeps on practicing out of his love for it.

The first lesson here is to find men who are striving to get better.  When you are among men who are working on self improvement, go ahead and put in extra effort compared to your peers.  When your goal is self mastery, it pays to be competitive.

The Gemara cites a teaching that the obligatory holiday offering of rejoicing (the Hagiga) can be fulfilled through bringing vow or gift offerings as well, based on “And you shall rejoice in your feast” (Deuteronomy 16:14).  However, bird or meal offerings do not count as a “feast” for this purpose.  Rashi explains that this is because the Hagiga is said to have fat (Ex 23:18).  Birds and grains are lacking in this fat.

Our ancient sages valued foods that are less appreciated in modern society, like red meat and red wine.  It is interesting that in ancient times food was also used as medicine, which certain items used or avoided for specific illnesses.

While not suited for the Hagiga itself, for other purposes you can make a feast from from bird meat and bread.  Indeed, Challah bread and chicken is a traditional Sabbath meal.  So what makes a feast?  It is more the attitude than the menu.

Today it is common for people to eat on the run, and snack often.  This downgrades eating from a meal or feast to simply topping off the stomach.  Our sages enacted for Jews to wash their hands prior to a meal with bread, and to eat seated.  We also commonly invite other people for feasts or celebrations.  During our ancient holidays, families would come from all over to Jerusalem and often old friends would eat together while catching up on their lives.  These factors made meals more of a social event in Jewish culture.

To capture some of this spirit, think about how you can use the mundane act of eating to connect people.  You can take  even simple food and present it in an elaborate manner.  A very basic meal in a nice a picnic basket served in an appropriate natural location may make a greater impression than an expensive dinner purchased at a restaurant.  Our sages teach that eating is a way of bringing people together.  The point of a “feast” is not merely the food, but the emotional content of the event.

Our sages note that there is a minimum level of offerings for the holidays, but no maximum.  Rabbi Yoḥanan objected to  that idea from “Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he be sated with you, and hate you” (Proverbs 25:17).  This verse implies that one should not bring extra offerings.  The Gemara responds that the verse is referring to sin-offerings and guilt-offerings, not voluntary offerings.  It is better not to make mistake and require penance in the first place.

This verse reminds us that men have a tendency to use our rational faculty to offer explanations for our own behavior.  This can be a feature and a bug.  Sometimes men try to rationalize away any mistakes, and shift the blame to others.  You are not going to work through the problems that you cannot even face.  Use your intellect to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in the future to prevent the situation.

Another issue is offering lengthy apologies and seeking forgiveness excessively.  Men often come do this out of “FOG”, Fear, Obligation, or Guilt.  If your relationship with another person is characterized by any of these items, you may find yourself apologizing quite often.  This is a very unhealthy situation.  Relationships should be about mutual respect and aid, not reinforced through feelings of fear, obligation, or guilt.

When a man tries too hard to apologize and rationalize his mistakes, real or perceived, to his partner, this lowers his value in her eyes.  A man who is sure of himself may admit that mistakes were made, but does not stoop to such supplications.

Take a step back.  If you realize that you are apologizing and explaining yourself a lot more than your partner is, this is a sign that the relationship is in the FOG.  You need to start working on rebuilding yourself as an individual and consider ending such a situation.