Today we discuss the willow, the aravah or arvei nahal, meaning willows of the stream, since this variety grows by water.

The Gemara brings Ezekiel 17:5 which is understood to be contrasting the willow species that grows by a lot of water with a different willow that grows on dry mountains.  This verse implies that God intended for the Jewish people to be like the willow that is well-fed with resources, both physical and spiritual, but the Jews ignored most of these gifts.

Water is an illusion to wisdom. God gave us all of the wisdom we need to flourish.  However, the ancient Jews failed to use much of the life-saving and nourishing wisdom they had been given, and acted like the willow that grows on the dry mountaintop.

The lesson from modern men is to be aware of what resources you have at your disposal and make use of them. We have so much of information and inspiration available to us.  But many men are still sitting at home and not learning this information.  And some, even if they are learning, are not going out and applying the information to grow as a person.

Take stock of your resources and evaluate how to use them in the best manner.

We continue describing the four species of Leviticus 23:40: On the first day you shall take the fruit of hadar tree, branches of palm tree, boughs of leafy tree, and willow of the brook, and you shall rejoice before the LORD your God seven days.

The Hadas or myrtle is valid with green berries, but not if they turn red or black.  Our sages ask about a scenario when your myrtle had green berries just before the holiday, but they turned black before you could do the commandment of taking the four species.  You cannot pick the berries during the holiday, but if someone did (or they fell off) it would render this myrtle kosher even though it was invalid at the start of the holiday.

This would seem to prove a larger question that our sages debate: if we accept an item was qualified originally, then became disqualified before returning to being qualified.  Once something is rejected, is it impossible to fix?  We compare that to an item that was originally disqualified but then became kosher after the onset of the holiday.

This is also a concept by relationships.  A man who felt himself qualified to approach a certain woman, but then was rejected, may now feel that he is out of consideration unless he makes more effort to prove he is qualified.  Since he thought he was worthy and was shot down, he may try even harder to play up his good qualities or wealth to earn her attention. 

He may come off as desperate and he will be rejected even harder, leading him to put more effort into qualifying.  Perhaps she will string him along to use him for his resources.  His feeling of being disqualified and needing to perform to prove himself was a self fulfilling prophecy – his mindset guided his actions to self-sabotage.

Contrast this to a man who was not really qualified – by objective standards – but approaches someone “out of his league” anyway with an extra effort to make a special impression.  When it works, he feels great, that he has punched above his weight.  His horizon expands as he realizes that he can use his wits to succeed in areas where others  with his looks or wealth may fail.

A man’s personality is the product of not only his life experiences, but how he reacts internally to them.  Be conscious of when you feel like you succeeded above your default level, and use these experiences as springboards to excel in all areas of life.  When you felt you were qualified and failed, this can be a low blow.  Pick yourself up and get back to work on yourself, not on earning someone else’s respect.

The Talmud begins discussing the four species we use on the holiday, and notes that the validity of a Lulav (closed palm branch) from a certain location was subject to debate:

Rabbi Maryon said that Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said, and some say that Rabba bar Mari taught this in the name of Rabban Yoḥanan ben Zakkai:  There are two date palms in the valley of ben Hinnom, and smoke arises from between them. And this is the place we learned about in the mishna: A lulav from the palms of the Iron Mountain is fit.  And that site is the entrance of Gehinnom.

Gehinnom as in Hell or purgatory.  This is an actual geographic place, just outside Jerusalem, the site of the Holy Temple.  It is not a mountain but a valley.  Valley is “Gei” in Hebrew, this valley was named after ben Hinnom.  The word Gehinnom is used to connote Hell because of the evils done at this site, this hell on earth.

Our sages teach that before the Jews conquered Jerusalem, the area was owned by the idolatrous Jebusites and this valley was used as a major site of Molech worship.  The Molech rites included burning children alive, or forcing children to walk through fire and the like.  Molech is the devourer of children and deity of child sacrifice.

It is shocking that a place known for such evil acts was adjacent to Jerusalem, where Jew were commanded to build the Temple.  Not only that, but the branches from the palm trees at the entrance to Gehinnom could be used for a sacred ritual on the holiday of Sukkot.  A Jew could go the very entrance of Hell on earth to get an item to perform God’s holy commandment.

This contrast reminds us that to succeed in life we must take risks.  To grow into a stronger and more capable man, you must be willing to face danger, threats, and the possible losses.  While we try to avoid foreseeable temptations, we all know that a man sitting at home all day to be safe from danger never accomplishes anything.

 

The Talmud taught yesterday that a stolen Lulav is not valid for doing God’s command.  Today we examine a stolen Sukkah, which is invalid since it does not belong to the thief or squatter, since land and what is attached to the land cannot be stolen.  Even when a man is forcibly removed from land he legally owned, he is still considered to be the true owner by Jewish law.

However, if a man stole boards or branches and then built them into his Sukkah, the law is different.  By changing the raw materials into a building, the thief acquired them as his own.  He must pay their full value to his victim, but he may keep the items.

The reason for this rule is that we want to make it easy for the thief to repent.  If a man stole a beam and built it into his house, and we told him he has to tear down his house and return the beam to make it right, very few people would be able to do this.

Our sages were realistic and understood human nature.  Men who made mistakes want to change but we cannot expect them to totally deconstruct their lives all at once.

This insight is priceless.  Some men who realize the need to improve will try to radically remake their entire lives.  Most often they fail at this, the change is just too great.

An incremental approach will work better and be more sustainable.  Instead of rejecting everything you had before, make a list of your biggest challenges and the first step you can take to address them.

We have just begun the famous chapter of Lulav haGazul, and mention that a stolen Lulav is not valid for performance of the commandment of the four species.  Jews are told to bring four plant species to the Temple on the holiday of Sukkot, as the Bible states (Leviticus 23:40):  On the first day you shall take the fruit of hadar tree, branches of palm tree, boughs of leafy tree, and willow of the brook, and you shall rejoice before the LORD your God seven days.

We may have thought that since everything in the universe was created by God and really belongs to Him, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker to use a stolen item for His service.  The Talmud teaches that this is not correct, from “And you have brought that which was stolen and the lame, and the sick; that is how you bring the offering; should I accept this of your hand? says the Lord” (Malachi 1:13).

Our sages also give a powerful allegory:

Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: What is the meaning of the verse: “For I the Lord love justice, I hate robbery in a burnt-offering” (Isaiah 61:8)?

He gives a parable of a flesh-and-blood king who was passing by a customs house.  He said to his servants: Pay the toll to the taxmen.  They said to the king: Doesn’t all the tax belong to you anyway?  He said: From my conduct, all travelers will learn and will not evade paying this tax.

So too, the Holy One, Blessed be He, said: “I the Lord… hate robbery in a burnt-offering.”  Although the whole world is really His, God says: From My conduct, My children will learn and distance themselves from robbery

We see that the best leader is one who leads by his own example, and does not demand a different standard for himself.  Many of the problems we suffer today are due to the professional politicians and opinion makers holding themselves to a different or nonexistent standard, while holding everyone else to strict standards.

A person with double standards is not fit to be a leader – and probably not fit for your time, attention, and resources either.

A man must guide his family through personifying the standard of behavior he expects from others.  Children notice when parents tell them the expected behavior but act contrary to it.  Show, don’t tell; act, don’t explain.

The Talmud discusses when you are allowed to leave your Sukkah, such as when it is raining or being outside causes pain.

If you have a hard time understanding what you are learning due to being in the Sukkah you can go back to the study hall or library.  A change in venue can help your mental acuity.  If you are not getting something inside, try going outside.

Some men function better in a certain environment, figure out where you work best and use that to your advantage.

We see that in Jewish consciousness not being able to solve an intellectual problem is considered painful.  You can use this concept, when you have a personal problem don’t suffer from it, but apply your intellectual powers to learn about it and solve it.

In contrast to issues with learning, the Gemara explains that rain always creates an exemption when it would spoil the food.  Different men can tolerate various degrees of emotional and intellectual stress, but people expect a similar degree of creature comforts.

The Talmud has been explaining the rulings of Rabbi Eliezer regarding Sukkah, and brings this amazing story:

The Sages taught: There was an incident when Rabbi Eliezer stayed in the Upper Galilee, and the people there asked him thirty questions about Sukkah.  About twelve, he said to them: I heard the law from my teachers, but about the other eighteen, he said to them: I did not hear an answer.  (Therefore he did not answer those questions).

One of the hallmarks of an accomplished sage is to understand the parameters of known laws and extrapolate the general concepts.  A Rabbi must be able to understand what he learned from his Rabbis, and apply it to new situations.  The Galileans were surprised that Rabbi Eliezer could not derive the answers to their other questions using his intellect.

They said to him: Are all the things you know only what you heard?  He said to them: You have forced me to say a matter that I did not hear from my teachers, my own conduct: In all my days, no man ever preceded me into the study hall, and I never slept in the study hall, neither substantial sleep nor a brief nap; and I never left anyone in the study hall and exited, and I never engaged in idle conversation; and I never said anything that I did not hear from my teacher.

Rabbi Eliezer had developed this recipe for his own personal success – he did not hear it from his Rabbis.  He had decided to humbly tell over only what he had actually heard, even though he was able to apply his vast knowledge for intellectual innovation.  We see that he was the first man in and the last man out, showing his complete dedication to learning Wisdom.

Rabbi Eliezer had actually been a farmer for years before he began learning after age 20 (quite late in a society that began intense study at age 10, Pirke Avot (Wisdom of Fathers) 5:21).  His conduct was aimed at making up for the lost time, and then becoming a great leader, which requires ongoing humility.

When you discover that there is an area of life that you have neglected, it can be beneficial to make it a priority, and develop a plan to master it.  You must devote extra time for intense study and application of the new concepts you are learning.  We see that some men decide at a later age to master a sport or hobby, to enter a new career, or effect a radical change in their lifestyle.  To accomplish this you will need extreme dedication, as Rabbi Eliezer shows us.

The Talmud makes a key comparison between Passover and Sukkot (the verses Leviticus 23:6 and :34), learning that we must eat bread on both.  The Gemara brings a teaching from Rabbi Eliezer that not only must be eat in the Sukkah the first day, but we must eat 14 meals in the Sukkah over the 7 day holiday.

The steward of King Agrippas asked Rabbi Eliezer:  For someone like me, who has two wives, one in Tiberias and one in Tzippori, and has two sukkot, one in Tiberias and one in Tzippori, can I depart from one sukka to another sukka? Rabbi Eliezer said to him: No, I say that anyone who departs from one sukka to another sukka has negated the first.

Rabbi Eliezer emphasizes consistency, and requires a man to use the same Sukkah for the entire holiday.  The other rabbis allow a man to use different Sukkot, since the important thing is to dwell in a Sukkah for seven days.  They would allow the steward (the King’s right hand man) to switch his Sukkah for part for the holiday.

Do notice that even though the man has two wives, each is in a different city and he arranged that each has her own home and Sukkah for the holiday.  A man who is able to entertain more than one woman must see to it that each is provided for appropriately.

Part of this is emotional care as well, when he is in Tiberias he pays full attention to the wife living there, making her feel important and loved even though he has another wife.  It is noteworthy that these two towns are not far apart – Tzippori is the same place as Sepphoris.

As part of the commandment of dwelling in a Sukkah during the holiday of Sukkot, we sleep (when possible) in a Sukkah. The Gemara explains that a small snack is allowed outside the Sukkah, but a brief nap is not, as it may well become deep sleep.

Our sages ask why we do allow a brief nap while a man is wearing Tefillin, and explain that that leniency is only when he naps with his head between his knees, in a position that will not allow his to fall into a deep sleep. 

A brief nap is defined at 60 breaths, and the sages note that King David would only sleep this length.  Since he had so much official work to do, on top of his family (18 wives) and his artistic work (Psalms), he minimized sleep to maximize his productive time.  Jewish law states that during the day we should not sleep more than this.

If you need to nap, fine, but don’t let it drag out.  It is vital that you do not let yourself sleep all day, or get involved in distractions that will lead you to lose track of time.  Set reminders and alarms so you do not waste time.  Get in the habit of reducing your leisure and using your energy for creative work.

in our generation we also have a danger that a “snack” can lead you to consume a lot of calories.  In fact, many snack foods are engineered to encourage you to eat more.  It is important to set boundaries with your food, by removing habit forming foods from your diet, or by consciously limiting your calories or perhaps the hours you eat each day.

Our sages note that even a nap with Tefillin on is forbidden for a young man, since he may have a seminal emission, which is improper while wearing his Tefillin (which contain verses from the Bible with God’s name).  The Gemara points out that this danger is acute when a young man is napping with his wife present: “שֶׁמָּא יָבוֹאוּ לִידֵי הֶרְגֵּל דָּבָר” lest they come to do the thing they are used to.

This is an interesting language, as it implies that a man and wife in bed together are likely accustomed to having intimate relations, so the man will do what comes naturally and forget he is wearing Tefillin. 

Just as a man needs to be aware of his habits for sleeping and eating, he should be aware of his intimate habits as well.  Some may want to reduce this if it is interfering with other areas of life, others need to consciously create a habit and expectation that when he and his wife have the opportunity they will act on it.  While it may seem that creating a habit of having sex makes it less special, this can help overcome the distractions that come between man and woman.

The Talmud brings an amazing concept. Men already involved in performing a commandment, such as those traveling to ransom a captured person, are exempt from dwelling in a Sukkah.  During this discussion, the Gemara brings a teaching that a newlywed groom and his groomsmen are also exempt.

The logic is that they are busy making the meals and festivities for the first week of marriage, and this takes place in the “chuppah”, meaning the house used by the bride and groom (see Tosafot ain simcha).  Since the primary location of the festivities must be in the groom’s home, we should not require the wedding party to eat and sleep in a Sukkah.

This begs the question, why do we require all of the celebrations, which last a week, to be in the marital home?

We understand that a man’s home is his castle.  He feels comfortable and acts as master of his domain.  During the week of wedding parties, everyone comes to his place to pay him respect and wish the couple well.

When a marriage begins with other people entering the man’s domain and honoring him, the wife understands that he is the master of the house.  She sees how other people enter his dwelling, his personal frame, to interact with him, and knows her role is to do the same, but to an even greater extent.

The Talmud also notes that a small, likely flimsy Sukkah is not a proper place for the groom to speak intimately with his new wife.  A man needs some privacy to flirt and joke with his wife.  It is improper to interfere when another man is developing a connection of this nature.