The Talmud brings up an ancient scroll called “Megilat Taanit” the scroll of fasts.  This was actually a list of quasi holidays on which it was forbidden to fast because of some minor miracle or positive historical event that took place on that day.  The Gemara debates if any of these days were still in effect after the destruction of the Temple.

When you accomplish something good, remember it.  Make a list of the days on which you realized (or generated) significant growth, even just a personal best in lifting or a sport.  Celebrate your own victories.  Even “minor” miracles.  

When a man focuses on negative events, he not only drags himself down, but he trains his mind to look for problems and losses.  He can make himself into an anxious wreck.  Be aware of your mental habits, they become your personality.

Fasting in Jewish wisdom is self abrogation and self destruction – you literally eat yourself up.  This is sometimes necessary, but not on a regular basis.  Celebrate gains or changes you have created by avoiding the “fasting” of indulging in self limiting beliefs or self destructive thoughts and actions.

If you find it hard to identify the positive days in your life, think about what Albert Einstein said: There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. 

Small miracles are still miracles.  Your small victories are still victories.

You can also use such positive days as an opportunity for self care.  The Gemara notes that in the city of Lod they once decreed a public fast during Hanukkah, and our sages protested by going to the bathhouse and taking a haircut, and told the people there they needed to fast again to atone for fasting on Hanukkah.

The Talmud continues contrasting the judgment on an individual versus the decree on a whole community.  We mention a certain family with a degree for short lifespan, but how individuals from that family overcame this through learning and kindness.

The Talmud discusses the meaning of the Mishnah that all people pass before God on Rosh Hashanah like “bne marom”, a term open to interpretation.  Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said:  Like the soldiers of the house of King David.

King David has his soldiers march out one at a time.  This seems odd, as modern military parades have the troops go in their units, showing off large numbers at once.

David’s intent was to show that each soldier was valuable and courageous even on his own.  Of course soldiers operate together in a cohesive unit, but the group consists of unique individuals with their own talents.

The Gemara explains that God judges each of us independently, but also as part of the larger group.  We are valued for our own unique personality but also for the role we play in society.

Think about your own good points, and things you can do to improve yourself and your abilities.  Then consider how you can use your talents to enhance your tribe or community.

We continue discussing Divine judgment, including a scary preview of punishment after death.  The Gemara states there is a grave punishment for “those who cast their fear over the land of the living” and defines this as a leader who who instills excessive fear on the community not for the sake of Heaven. 

When a man with an inflated opinion of himself is in a leadership role, he takes push back against his agenda as a personal affront.  He may respond with intense anger and threaten punishment.  Such a man resorts to scaring and manipulating to intimidate the community into respecting his mandates.  Forcing others to obey may work in the short term, but it undermines his authority and people begin to understand that he is a buffoon.

Compare this to a man who focuses not on himself as the leader, but instead reminds everyone of the job that needs to be accomplished.  He gets others to invest themselves in the mission, the job, or the customer.  To him success is not measured by his personal honor, but how well the group he leads can finish what needs to be done on behalf of the community.

It is notable that this teaching implies that there are valid times to instill fear on the community for the sake of Heaven.  However, this is a difficult thing for a man to evaluate.  Our sages give a hint, citing verses that describe God as both judgmental and as forgiving.  One example is Exodus 34:6,  “Abundant in kindness and truth”.  Truth implies strict judgment, so how is kindness related? 

Ilfai, and some say it was the Sage Ilfa explains that initially God employs strict justice, but when He sees mankind cannot continue to survive this, He increases kindness.

Sometimes a man may need start a business partnership or relationship with strict standards, to get everyone to act properly.  However, in the long run, kindness must be mixed in.  No one can stay perfect.

The Talmud brings a teaching about what happens when a community was unworthy on Rosh Hashanah and was judged for less rain. Then by Yom Kippur they had repented. God can keep the original judgment intact, but make it rain exactly where and when the rain is needed.

When you have limited resources, use them wisely and make them count.  Your most limited resources is your time.  Be aware of how you spend it.  You can tie this in to our first topic.  If someone is making you upset and you are angry and tempted to use fear, simply withdraw your time and attention instead.  Often people learn more from your absence than your threats.

The second Mishnah in Rosh HaShanah teaches that there is not just one judgment day, but four:

At four times of the year the world is judged: On Passover concerning grain; on Shavuot concerning fruits on a tree; on Rosh HaShanah all creatures pass before Him like sheep as it is stated: “He Who fashions their hearts alike, Who considers all their deeds” (Psalms 33:15); and on the festival of Sukkot concerning water.

The Gemara goes on to bring additional opinions of our sages that men are judged not only on Rosh HaShanah, but also every day or even in every moment and situation in life.

You cannot become the best you can be without continued self evaluation.  You need to step back and take stock of your life not just once a year, but on a regular basis and especially whenever you need to make an important decision.

And to add a layer, you need to be the one to decide which decisions are important and critical, based on your own chosen goals and desires.  Become your own judge, hold yourself to a high standard.  When you evaluate yourself and find your weaknesses, you also become impervious to outside criticism.  You already know how to improve.

This judgment is on yourself only.  The Talmud notes that asking God to judge another person puts yourself at risk, citing Sarah (Genesis 16:5).  You never know if the other one is more righteous, and looking around for other people to blame for problems in your life creates excuses for you to avoid changing yourself.

Abaye adds this advice:

Therefore, if a person sees that his slow-growing crops are doing well, he should quickly sow fast-growing crops before the next judgment.

When you are accomplishing in life, there is a temptation to take it easy.  Just the opposite, while you are succeeding add more.  When your business is growing, work to grow it faster.  Take advantage of times when opportunity is relatively easy to snatch and go for it.

We continue discussing the new year for fruits and produce, noting the unique etrog (citron) fruit, which can stay on the tree longer than a year.  Therefore, the etrog is tithed in the year it is picked, like a vegetable, instead of when it first blossomed.  Our sages debate if the same standard applies to considering such an etrog to be a Sabbatical Year fruit and exempt from tithes (see Leviticus 25):

When Ravin came from Israel to Babylonia, he said that Rabbi Yoḥanan taught: An etrog that blossomed in the sixth-year then remained on the tree and was picked in the Sabbatical Year, even though at the beginning of the Sabbatical Year it was only the size of an olive and then during the Sabbatical Year it grew to the size of a loaf of bread, this etrog is considered sixth-year produce that is subject to tithing.

Even though most of this fruit grew enormously during the seventh Sabbatical Year, Rabbi Yoḥanan applied the laws of sixth year.  After all, that is when it first blossomed and got started.

Men often experience their most profound growth in a specific situation, place, or time during their lives.  However, we also need to appreciate whatever setting in which we got started.  Even if we did not learn a lot of the information that we now use when we were young, the experiences we had got us started in the direction we are now heading.

This is why Jewish wisdom places a huge emphasis on honoring teachers and rabbis, even when the younger student has grown and become more advanced that his 2nd grade Rebbe.  That man taught him the basics and got him curious about the Torah, and that attitude has served him well over the decades, allowing him to blossom into a scholar.

Appreciate your early experiences and try to understand how they influence your decision making now.  A man can be profoundly swayed by how he lived at a young age, when he started developing his sense of self.  The situation in which a person first blossoms continues to impact their life, even if most of their personal growth came well after/

This applies to other people as well.  If you are considering a serious business or romantic partner, find out where and how they grew up.  In particular, look into their early life and the role models they grew up around.  (You need to find out about the rest of their life also).

The best predictor of how someone will behave in the future is their past behavior.

The Gemara notes that an incident involving Rabbi Akiva, who picked an etrog (citron fruit) on the first of Shevat and set aside two tithes.  We assume he should have separated only one tithe.  The Gemara asks if Rabbi Akiva did so because he was in doubt if the law follows Beit Shammai or Beit Hillel.

This would be a serious problem, as there is a teaching:

The law is in accordance with Beit Hillel, but one who wishes to act in accordance with the ruling of Beit Shammai may do so, and one who wishes to act in accordance with the statement of Beit Hillel may do so.
If he adopts both the leniencies of Beit Shammai and also the leniencies of Beit Hillel, he is a wicked person.
And if he adopts both the stringencies of Beit Shammai and the stringencies of Beit Hillel, with regard to him the verse states: “The fool walks in darkness” (Ecclesiastes 2:14).
Rather, one should act either in accordance with Beit Shammai, following both their leniencies and their stringencies, or in accordance with Beit Hillel, following both their leniencies and their stringencies.

The Gemara determines that Rabbi Akiva was not in doubt about who the law follows.  He had a different doubt, about the status of the etrog tree itself, since it has aspects of a vegetable.  The lesson is clear: a man needs to pick a side.

In modern times, there is a societal push for men to try to get along with everyone, and to avoid stating their own personal opinions in case they offend someone.  This is not the way to live.  A man needs to evaluate the options and pick a team, and act consistently with his team.  You can still get along with other people, but you don’t need to hide you personal beliefs to avoid offending everyone.

If you don’t find an appropriate team, work towards starting your own.

We discuss the new year for tithing, and learn that for grain the cut off is when the plant has grown to 1/3 of maturity.  Grain plants that reach that level before the new year are tithed with the produce of the prior year.

The Gemara cites a question about setting strict limits:

Rabbi Yirmeya said to Rabbi Zeira:  Are the Sages really able to discern precisely between produce that reached one-third of its growth and produce that reached less than one-third of its growth?

Rabbi Zeira said to him: Do I not always tell you that you must not take yourself out of the bounds of the halakha? All the measures of the Sages are like this; they are precise and exact.

One who immerses himself in a ritual bath containing forty se’a of water is pure, but in forty se’a less a tiny kortov, he cannot become pure in them. Similarly, an egg-size of impure food can render other food ritually impure, but an egg-size less the tiny amount of a sesame seed does not render food ritually impure.

See also Bava Batra 23.  Rabbi Akiva Eiger comments here that our ancient sages were very familiar with agriculture and could tell by examining the plant if it had reached the 1/3 growth level.

When you set boundaries, make them defined and firm boundaries.  When you make a budget for a purchase, don’t go over.  If you are looking to earn at least a specific amount for your work, don’t settle for a little bit less.  You know what you are worth.

When you have a list of qualities you need in a mate that will help you work towards your mission in life, don’t commit to someone who lacks the character that you need.  When you allow your “firm” boundaries to slip, your standards will start to evaporate.  This is why our sages came up with well defined cut off levels for various items in Jewish law.

Yesterday our sages argued over which in month the world was created.  Today they discuss when in the year the epic flood in the days of Noah began.  During this analysis our sages note that the flood waters were boiling hot, because that generation had sinned with boiling heat.

Boiling heat refers mainly to the passion of sexual immorality, and also to anger or intense emotion.  Not only did the generation of the flood engage in adultery and bestiality, but their robbery, rape, and abuse of their fellow men was committed with fiery passion.  Therefore they were punished with hot water.

A modern man should work on himself to become aware of what situations, actions and people get him into an emotional or passionate state.  When you are heated up this can be a danger or an opportunity, or both.

God runs the world on a principal called ATFAT, a turn for a turn.  Noah’s generation got themselves into hot water through their own evil actions.  The Egyptians who threw babies into the Nile were themselves drowned in the Red Sea.  We also see King David punished later in life for destroying clothing.

When you see that you encounter problems in a specific area of life, think about what you may be doing wrong in that area.

The Gemara explains an argument between our ancient sages over in which month the world was created.  First of all, this reminds us that conventional Judaism values questions.

We learn through asking and analyzing the meaning of verses, teachings, and traditions.  No subject is off limits, even those we assume everyone agrees on, like the month God in which created the world.

During this debate, the Gemara brings a cryptic exposition of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi:

All creations were created with their full height, they were created with their mental capacities; they were created with their full development.  As it is stated: “And the heavens and the earth were finished, and all their host” (Genesis 2:1). Do not read “their host [tzeva’am]”; rather, read it as their form [tzivyonam].

This answers the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg.  God created full grown chickens first.  This is also logical, as adult animals would be necessary to raise and nurse the offspring.

Rashi explains that “with their mental capability” means that each creation was asked if it wanted to be created as this specific creature, and it agreed.  This means that before this thing even had a body, the soul or life force that would inhabit this creature was told what it would be in the physical world, and assented to be created.

The Ben Ish Hai writes in Ben Yehoyada an amazing application of this Gemara based on the Zohar (the key text of Kabbalah).  Before every person is born, God shows the soul an outline of the life it will lead in the physical world, and asks the soul if it agrees to be born to live such a life.

Yes, we do have a degree of free will, but it is exercised within the context in which we are placed.  We do not pick our parents, our homeland, and our childhood.  Many men don’t begin truly making their own decisions until much later in life, if ever.

We are created with our consent.  God doesn’t force out souls into the physical world without our agreement.  This amazing fact leads us to a vital concept in Jewish wisdom.

While God is compared to an all powerful king, He also wants all of us to become active partners with Him in creation.  When we discussed the tension between community and individuality in Judaism we concluded:

We were chosen to be the partner with God in creation (a junior partner).  This is one of the secrets in Genesis 1:26 “let us make man“.  Angels do not create, they do not develop or change.  God is not talking to angels.  In one sense, God is using the ‘royal plural’.  In truth, God is talking to man.  To us.  To you!

Telling you: “Let us make man!” Join God in the work of making yourself into a man.

We now see that God asks from our souls informed consent before putting them inside our bodies.  God wants everyone to succeed, and places us into the life situation where we can become great if we put in the work.

God intends for you to be an active partners in the life mission of creating yourself.

The Talmud examines the new year for trees, which is the cut off date for the laws of Orlah and Revai (Leviticus 19:23–25).  Briefly, Orlah requires that we do not eat the fruits of a newly planted tree for the first three years.  These years are not counted from the date of planting, but from the new year for trees, “Tu B’Shevat” or the fifteenth day of the month of Shevat.

The Gemara notes that although there is an opinion that 30 days prior to the new year counts as a full year, we can only count this period towards the first year after the tree has already taken root.  There is a dispute over how long it takes for a tree to fully take root, this could be as long as 30 days.

Understand that you need time to “take root” after you arrive in a new location or start a new job or hobby.  This is natural and you should plan for it.  However, if you continue to feel anxious after your situation is no longer new, you need to evaluate why.

If you joined a team for a sport or a group working on a hobby or the like, maybe you are not mastering the skills or drive needed to be competitive.  If you are not getting promoted at your job or growing your business, it might not be about what you know, but also who you know and how you interact with them.  Often getting ahead is the result of socially rooting yourself into an organization or community.

Rabbi Yehuda says: Any grafting that does not take root within three days will never take root.

This is a key concept for men.  Often men keep trying the same thing over and over, perhaps in business, perhaps with women or their children, or with one specific woman.  If you tried three times without getting a positive result, stop.

This applies even when the other person makes it seem like you should keep trying.  They may be leading you on.  Whatever this person is saying, if there is no charm by the third time, that is the real message you should get.